It's not just about the substance
 

I rarely drink, anymore. Kratom removed my alcohol addiction. That's not what I would like to address. A few years ago someone on this site mentioned she had been sexually abused, then others, including myself did the same. It seemed to me, close to 98%, of our female group, had been sexually abused. Sexual abuse in the general population is less than that. I wonder if specific traumatic events don't lead to substance abuse. I was triggered recently and started drinking again. I'm okay. I'm having a very difficult day but will get through this. (I talked to my mother and she called me a liar again. I'm not sure why I keep trying to repair that relationship) But I do find it helpful to isolate the core. Would anyone else like to share what may have started your addiction (or abuse of) alcohol?

Hi and welcome back Auggie :)

I addressed this with another person here just the other day.
I'm not a female but I was abused sexually once and in other ways many times as a child and mistreated in other ways.

I believe that unresolved trauma (covering abuse and other things) can contribute to some of us looking for things to make us feel good - or at least less bad.

I also believe tho that, over time, I developed a nasty addiction to alcohol, and pot.

I had to address not only the underlying contributing factors but the resulting addiction.

If you're drinking again I contend - as gently as I can - that maybe your addiction is not as removed as you'd like it be?

Maybe it's time to look for help on both fronts - addiction and trauma ?

D

I work in the industry, helping the people that help people, like me. Right now, I would like to work with a therapist, because I'm not right in the head. But here in the US, the ability to talk to someone trained in psychology is a weeks worth of groceries. I can eat or seek treatment , but not both.

Thank you,
Dee.

I hope someone in the States can help you with some suggestions for affordable counselling Auggie.

D

Hi Auggie! I too suffered childhood sexual abuse from two different males, one a family member. I believe I may have undiagnosed PTSD and I certainly have social anxiety and generalized anxiety that is rather controlled but intense when triggered. I have suffered with panic attacks and was told by my therapist that its common in women with childhood abuse.

I have decided I am going to do group therapy. I'm all in this time, in terms of recovery.

Do you have insurance? Do you live in or near a metropolitan area with nonprofit mental health agency that can offer services for free or sliding scale? Have you looked into Better Help? It's an app but its cheaper than in person therapy. Lets figure this out.