GreatInquiry7

I can't sleep and this is the reason why, so came here to post this (haven't posted in forever).

I quit drinking for 10 months on "willpower" - no meetings, etc.

After 10 months, I thought I could drink normally.

It started out "normally", and almost in a whirlwind progressed to huge partying benders, which is the reason I quit in the first place.

In a moment of clarity today, I saw the downward spiral happening even though it didn't feel like it in the moment. I called some friends who've been through this, and they told me its time to change my plan.

Anxiety is high right now, just got off what I believe will be the final one.

Can't sleep, minds racing, the whole 9 yards.

I guess I can be thankful, that I caught myself when I did - but I know now that type of thinking can lead to another slip.

Today (tomorrow?) is day 1.

Thanks guys for still being here.

FreshStartOk

Yes I believe I'm the same. I just cannot moderate my drinking. The idea of having a glass or two of wine with dinner is still appealing. I can't do it though, one or two glasses always leads to one or two bottles, without exception.

Dee74

Welcome back GI

I think one of the best days of my life was when I accepted that thinking of drinking again is ALWAYS my addiction talking.

Once you recognise/accept that the road ahead gets a lot easier...

D

SoberRican

Glad you back. In my case its all or nothing. My next relapse would be my last. Scary huh? Hey works for me.

August252015

Glad you are back. You can make this your last start and you definitely don't have to do it by willpower. SR is here and I needed to have a strong IRL program to get sober and into a life of recovery.

Abraham

You learned a valuable lesson. Heed that. Being able to do it on your own with out programs, meetings, turning your life upside down shows you can handle this pretty good. Good for you for quitting. I am not familiar with IRL, but what ever works. I think you found what worked for you and now you have more experience as to what not to do. Now you know you cant drink normally. I know this too, I just hope I dont have to test it for myself one day as most people seem to do.

Delilah1

I learned the hard way more than once that moderation doesn’t work. I now have 3.5 years sober, and life is so much better without alcohol.

least

Getting sober was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I hope you find the help you need to get sober for good.