Anna

Again, Daisy, I a so very sorry that this happened to you. There must be a lesson in there somewhere, but I'm not sure where. I'm glad you are sober and doing well, and thanks for checking in with your update.

JustJohn

Did she show you proof with a receipt from the veterinarian your dog was euthanized? Someone that mean could well be lying and your dog may still be alive.

Dee74

I'm really sorry Daisy.
You and Daisy the dog deserved far far better than either of you got here.

I am glad that you are still in recovery tho.

D

Steely

I'm sorry Daisy. Hard loving a child.

I'm glad you're sober too. Wow!

silentrun

So sorry.

Billymacintosh

I'm so sorry to hear this Daisy, it made me very sad reading your thread. We are an animal household and losing a pet feels unbearable. It is testament to the amazing person you obviously that you have been able to love your daughter unconditionally throughout this.
congratulations on 2 years sober it is a huge achievement ❤
Love Billy x

daisy1

Thanks guys - I'm sorry I don't reply much it's just that I fall to pieces for about 24 hours after talking about it!

I think it's easier when you can hate the person who has hurt you - I would have used hate and anger to fuel me and I would have fought tooth and nail for Daisy without fear of relapse. However I don't wish a single second of pain on my daughter, I just can't feel that way and it made me unable to fight.

A couple of days after she dropped the note off, she knocked on my door and said 'I've got a surprise for you!' In her arms was a whippet puppy in a blanket. For a split second I thought it was Daisy and it felt like one of those weird dreams you have. Anyway she's a veterinary nurse and was babysitting this puppy and just wanted to show me. I thought to myself 'omg read the room you idiot' - I'm sure life will bring her a few shocks and she will learn over time. I really thought I had raised her to be honest and loving but I think I've failed, because I wasn't honest, I was drinking all the time to cope.

Anyway i lurch from being so devastated i can barely function to being happy and grateful ive made it this far. Thank you a
l so much for understanding I am so grateful.

Hey Billy you live about half an hour from me!

daisy1

hi yes that crossed my mind but I'm pretty sure it's the truth. I can't ask for more details because if I hear she was in pain or suffering I wouldn't be able to bear it.

Billymacintosh

What a small world it is 🙂❤

Also I don't believe your daughter's behaviour is testament to failure as a parent, you can only do your best and in the end people will be what they will be. Not necessarily the end product of your input.
you sound like a pretty good person to me
love Billy x

Anna

Wow, Daisy, that was such a thoughtless, if not shocking, thing for your daughter to do. Going back and forth between devastated and grateful sounds like part of the grieving process. I'm so sorry, but I admire your strength.

Dee74

I'm not sure I'd want my daughter in my life right now if she kept doing thoughtless shocking things like that Daisy.

I'm all for trying to understand the other persons point of view but how she could think that would make you feel better?...
D

daisy1

Dee that's one thing I'm thankful for lockdown for, I don't see her very often! We text every day and share how our day has been - I don't tell her I cried all day and she probably doesn't tell me how her day really was. We could thrash it out but it's a bit pointless as the damage is done. I will never accept what she did to me and daisy no matter what her reasons were, and she knows that. Yes it's now a shallow relationship but I have to just take each day as it comes.

Anna

I'm sorry, Daisy, but I think you're doing the right thing and taking care of yourself.

Fusion

Daisy, I remember your original post and distress. I have no words regarding your update. Cruel beyond belief. Plus you have no proof your dog was put to sleep, could've been rehomed or sold.

I understand you caring for your daughter, no matter what. But it beggars belief that she'd bring a dog like yours to your door (that she was looking after) getting up your hopes, or rubbing your nose in your loss.

Ugh, Daisy, I'm so sorry, we can't choose our relatives. Please stay strong.

daisy1

I actually found daisy on tiktok last year - I was just scrolling and there she was. It was only two clips and she looked comfortable and well cared for, but because I know this dog to her bones I know that she would do anything to be good and please whoever she was with. The clips were captioned 'my 12 year old adopted chihuahua Daisy'. I managed to friend this woman and although her face was covered I made a note of her hair, a small tattoo and that she is a teacher. I zoomed in on her kitchen cupboards and saw that she bought some things in Sainsbury's. I spent days and evenings just sitting in the shop car park looking for her.
It's been hell and still is, and I've instructed my son and family not to let her ever have any say in any of my business. She would be the one to instruct doctors to switch off my life support i expect lolol. However I think she could stab me to death and I would still be saying 'its ok I love you'.
She's messaging me now saying she's had a stressful day at work and I can't face answering so will do it in the morning.

daisy1

I know it's frustrating for you all to hear about how impotent I seem in all this but basically I just get told I created all of it because I nearly drank myself to death.

tornrealization

Daisy1 - I want to reach through the monitors and hug you and just let you know that you don't deserve to be treated this way. This relationship is dysfunctional and I worry you think you deserve it because you're a drinker. This is so untrue. Your daughter has done some seriously appalling things and continues to string you along in this dysfunction. It's really hard to say anything of the sort to people because of how challenging a parent/child relationship can cause us to push away the person in the relationship to doubling down and isolating even more.

Who's told you - that you deserve to be treated this way? I very much, VERY much disagree. Do you have another support system in place? Have you considered a counselor to help you navigate your feelings to navigate through all this? Can you set up additional boundaries with your daughter in addition to the lockdown? Family is hard. What I'm reading is she is intentionally hurting you and then telling you it's your own fault.

I'm rooting for your sobriety, your happiness and your healing Daisy1, because you deserve it. You deserve kindness. If she's upset about past drinking behaviors there are other ways to work them out versus taking a pet and bringing a different bundle to your door later. Maybe it's a time out to heal. This isn't the same as severing a relationship. It's establishing some "me" time and boundaries so things like her texting you or showing up at your door don't cause anxiety while you heal. I don't know the answer. I just want you to know you're worth kindness.

Dee74

being alcoholic means owning up to our past mistakes and trying to make amends best we can - it should never mean being treated cruelly by others, Daisy.

D

Anna

Daisy, I know too well how awfully hard it is to accept our part in the messes we've made. But, be clear, it's not all your fault, not at all. Your daughter is making choices of her own in this, and hopefully one day, she will see that she's made many bad choices of her own.

Boggle10

Daisy I'm so glad your sober, and to be honest your a much stronger braver person than me I have two daughters and I love the very bones of them, but if they had done to me what your daughter done, well I'd of cut them out, no question about it, that girl has to look herself In The mirror everyday and I hope she likes what she see's, I hope you find peace In this situation knowing you did your best for daisy. Karma has a way of catching up with everyone x