You only have to change one thing in recovery
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Good morning all happy Sober Sunday😁 yes change . I had to do a complete 360 change. And all for the good I have today 57 days of sobriety. I was just thinking about how how my neighbors feel right now . they had a party and from what I can see plenty of booze flowing . good for them I am not hating . I just know how I would be feeling. If I was still in that lunacy. Like total crap. I dont miss that at all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Hmmm. I hope this is not true. I have not changed anything other than I dont drink now. Nor do I want to. My life is good and was good other than I was drinking to much. Now that I am not drinking anymore I would not want to change a thing.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I tell folks that i made a lifestyle change.
I do a lot more of the things I like or should do....e.g. hit the gym, give the dog a bath, take my kid to baseball practice.
Now that I changed my perspective I have more time and energy. I am better at work and I have more fun all of them time. My family appreciates my easy going nature. They like the real me.
Just this week my obsession issue began to really fade. Omg....the liberation.
Taking responsibility for my situation all the way and trying hard to see situations through other people's eyes.
Thanking God and SR on this sabbath.
Amen.
Thanks.
I do a lot more of the things I like or should do....e.g. hit the gym, give the dog a bath, take my kid to baseball practice.
Now that I changed my perspective I have more time and energy. I am better at work and I have more fun all of them time. My family appreciates my easy going nature. They like the real me.
Just this week my obsession issue began to really fade. Omg....the liberation.
Taking responsibility for my situation all the way and trying hard to see situations through other people's eyes.
Thanking God and SR on this sabbath.
Amen.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Yea, but what we HAVE to change, and how to change is different for all. I thought how to change is what we are talking about. As far as I can see no one is blaming any thing or any one. We all have our own routes to sobriety. No point in telling some one what has to be done or what they need to change. Some may need to change everything and some dont need to change anything, some may say the only thing that has to change is to go to AA meetings every day for 90 days and every where in between. Lucky for me I only had to change the one thing. No sense debating someones method of getting sober. Also I feel suggesting you have to change everything in recovery may seem a tad daunting to a newcommer. They will find their own way. It all starts with changing the one thing. If one feels they have other issues they would like to change, by all means work on changing them, either before, during, or after recovery.
I respect everyones technique.
I respect everyones technique.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Originally Posted by Abraham 
Yea, but what we HAVE to change, and how to change is different for all. I thought how to change is what we are talking about. As far as I can see no one is blaming any thing or any one. We all have our own routes to sobriety. No point in telling some one what has to be done or what they need to change. Some may need to change everything and some dont need to change anything, some may say the only thing that has to change is to go to AA meetings every day for 90 days and every where in between. Lucky for me I only had to change the one thing. No sense debating someones method of getting sober. Also I feel suggesting you have to change everything in recovery may seem a tad daunting to a newcommer. They will find their own way. It all starts with changing the one thing. If one feels they have other issues they would like to change, by all means work on changing them, either before, during, or after recovery. I respect everyones technique.
I respect everyones technique.Sorry for being a little cryptic, thought I was keeping in with the theme.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
Posts: 785
Far be it from me to disparage open-mindedness, but when the topic is potentially a matter of life and death, I feel uncomfortable when people relate an atypical experience and then attempt to normalize it with a "Hey, it's all good, different strokes for different folks, YMMV" sort of attitude.
While there are undoubtedly a few folks out there with an alcohol dependency whose problems can be solved entirely by quitting drinking, that doesn't mean it's a viable option for the majority of us. Even a brief browse around this site will suggest that it's far from the case for most folks, and there's plenty of evidence beyond this site as well. If you were to poll any group of alcoholics with long-term sobriety, including the members here, I'd bet the vast majority would say that they had to make major changes in their life beyond just stopping drinking in order to recover. Certainly I did.
I'd rather be realistic about the life changes required for most people to recover from alcoholism and take a chance on daunting a newcomer than give an unrealistic impression that alcoholism is a simple matter of drinking too much, and that recovery is a simple matter of just stopping. I know If I'd come into recovery clinging to ideas like that, I'd be dead by now.
While there are undoubtedly a few folks out there with an alcohol dependency whose problems can be solved entirely by quitting drinking, that doesn't mean it's a viable option for the majority of us. Even a brief browse around this site will suggest that it's far from the case for most folks, and there's plenty of evidence beyond this site as well. If you were to poll any group of alcoholics with long-term sobriety, including the members here, I'd bet the vast majority would say that they had to make major changes in their life beyond just stopping drinking in order to recover. Certainly I did.
I'd rather be realistic about the life changes required for most people to recover from alcoholism and take a chance on daunting a newcomer than give an unrealistic impression that alcoholism is a simple matter of drinking too much, and that recovery is a simple matter of just stopping. I know If I'd come into recovery clinging to ideas like that, I'd be dead by now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Well put Andante. Having gone to rehab, attended AA meetings, and participating and browsing in online recovery forums my experience is that having a stellar life outside of a physical dependency on alcohol would be a rarity.
Personally the guy I was prior to recovery is so different that he is unrecognizable to me now.
Personally the guy I was prior to recovery is so different that he is unrecognizable to me now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
I doubt that everyone comes to recovery totally lacking in life skills. Everyone has certain strengths they bring with them. We never know who has what strengths or how many strengths they do have. Of all possible combinations of traits and failures, the only thing we have in common is the inability to drink responsibly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
The people who I have seen with long-term contented sobriety with peace of mind all have in common that they had to get a profound alteration in their reaction and outlook on Life and the way they think. They are literally like different people to who they were prior to getting sober. This is also my experience. However these people are alcoholics in accordance with the AA definition and description. Sure it may be possible to remain abstinent and make no changes but it would likely be spent miserably. That is my experience. For me alcohol is merely a symptom/solution to fix the underlying mental/emotional/spiritual problem/malady.
Of course not everybody ascribes to this view and that’s fine but that isn’t my experience of alcoholism. For me I had to change everything both internally and externally (people, places, things) to experience long-term contented sobriety.
I’m grateful for my alcoholism as it led me to experience this new way of being and I get a great peace and contentedness from my life. At first I thought my problem was alcohol then I realised this wasn’t really my problem at all.
Of course not everybody ascribes to this view and that’s fine but that isn’t my experience of alcoholism. For me I had to change everything both internally and externally (people, places, things) to experience long-term contented sobriety.
I’m grateful for my alcoholism as it led me to experience this new way of being and I get a great peace and contentedness from my life. At first I thought my problem was alcohol then I realised this wasn’t really my problem at all.
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