4th of July Suppport Thread
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4th of July Suppport Thread 
For all those who celebrate it, a lot of people will be faced with difficult situations this U.S. Independence Day
Feel free to add your staying sober tips or plans here. Let's make this a sober 4th
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tips for staying sober this fourth of july
whether it’s your first fourth of july or your tenth in addiction recovery, it’s always a good idea to gather tips on staying sober before you attend your neighbor’s barbecue or community firework display. Events like independence day often involve alcohol and can be triggers for those who now lead sober lifestyles. If you’re wondering how to remain vigilant during this holiday season, here are ten tips to stay sober.
Avoid events you don’t feel good about
if someone invites you to an event and you have a gut feeling that it will bad for your condition, politely say no. This may be a party at an old friend’s house where you know there will be drinking or illicit drugs, or a function where you believe you’ll feel pressured into partaking. Instead, attend an event where there will be other sober friends or one in your community that’s family friendly. These events are less likely to bring back old, harmful memories and make you stray from your path.
Leave if you feel uncomfortable
as soon as things start to head south at a party, take your leave. Don’t let anyone pressure you into staying at a function if you feel uncomfortable. Make up an excuse if you have to, but get yourself away from the dangerous situation. This may be if a person you had an unhealthy relationship with enters the room, someone pulls out a bottle of your old favorite liquor, or if being around people drinking or doing drugs simply gets too difficult to handle. Whatever the case, know that it is perfectly okay to leave when an event goes sour.
Make staying sober a priority
keep the handy acronym slip in mind: Sobriety loses its priority. This fourth of july, go out with sobriety as your top priority. Don’t let anything else replace this in your mind as the most important goal of the evening. Do whatever you have to in order to keep sobriety at the forefront of your mind – talk to your sponsor, attend an alcohol-free event, surround yourself with other sober people, or simply stay home. If you concentrate on staying sober and stay focused on your recovery journey, everything else will seem insignificant.
Surround yourself with positive friends
positive friends don’t necessarily have to be sober friends, but they must be those that understand and respect your journey. Going to an event where there will be people likely to drag you back into your old habits will only lead to torment and temptation. Instead, keep the company of people who will not tempt or try to encourage you to indulge in drugs or alcohol. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and other sober individuals can help you stay on the right path and enjoy your holiday without cravings or risk of relapse.
Let go of your expectations of others
at a social event, you may expect everyone to respect your path, refrain from obvious triggers, or stay sober themselves. Unfortunately, this is often not the reality. Your friends and family members are human, too, and they have the right to make their own choices. The best thing you can do for yourself in these situations is to let it go. Realize that they are on their own paths, just as you are on yours. If you make your journey about you instead of those around you, you can release your worries and enjoy sobriety.
Have fun
attending a party, event, or holiday barbecue as “the sober one” can feel like you have a signpost following you around. Yet staying sober doesn’t have to put a damper on the event. Find things to distract you such as a dip in the pool, games with kids, setting off fireworks, or chatting with favorite friends and family members. Don’t dwell on your sobriety or any triggers that may be at the event. Live and let live – and have real fun without the influence of substances.
Stay home
stay home on holidays when you would normally drink, especially if you fear going out will be a trigger. Staying home on the fourth of july doesn’t have to be boring or depressing – invite a few of your closest friends and relatives for an alcohol-free evening. Host a barbecue, set off some fireworks, and have a great time without the influence of drugs or alcohol. Staying home can put you in control of your environment and your urges.
Attend a meeting
attend an alcoholics anonymous meeting, or schedule yourself for more meetings than usual. If you aren’t a member of a 12-step program, simply attend an open meeting in your community. There are sure to be many like-minded individuals in attendance specifically for tips on how to stay sober on the fourth of july. There may even be a group planning their own event or function on the holiday specifically to avoid temptation. Attending extra meetings can remind you of how hard you’ve worked to get where you are, and what is at stake if you put yourself in a tough situation.
Say the serenity prayer
there’s a reason the serenity prayer is a mainstay of all 12-step programs. No matter what your spiritual beliefs, this prayer can remind you of your goals, and give you a renewed sense of strength and control over your life. When things get tough, recite the serenity prayer and ask your higher power – be it god, fate, or the universe – to grant you serenity, courage, and wisdom in your time of need. The prayer can remind you to live one day at a time and to stay strong in the face of temptation on the fourth of july.
Go to a sober event
one of the best tips for staying sober is to attend a sober event.
From thetreatmentcenter.com blog
whether it’s your first fourth of july or your tenth in addiction recovery, it’s always a good idea to gather tips on staying sober before you attend your neighbor’s barbecue or community firework display. Events like independence day often involve alcohol and can be triggers for those who now lead sober lifestyles. If you’re wondering how to remain vigilant during this holiday season, here are ten tips to stay sober.
Avoid events you don’t feel good about
if someone invites you to an event and you have a gut feeling that it will bad for your condition, politely say no. This may be a party at an old friend’s house where you know there will be drinking or illicit drugs, or a function where you believe you’ll feel pressured into partaking. Instead, attend an event where there will be other sober friends or one in your community that’s family friendly. These events are less likely to bring back old, harmful memories and make you stray from your path.
Leave if you feel uncomfortable
as soon as things start to head south at a party, take your leave. Don’t let anyone pressure you into staying at a function if you feel uncomfortable. Make up an excuse if you have to, but get yourself away from the dangerous situation. This may be if a person you had an unhealthy relationship with enters the room, someone pulls out a bottle of your old favorite liquor, or if being around people drinking or doing drugs simply gets too difficult to handle. Whatever the case, know that it is perfectly okay to leave when an event goes sour.
Make staying sober a priority
keep the handy acronym slip in mind: Sobriety loses its priority. This fourth of july, go out with sobriety as your top priority. Don’t let anything else replace this in your mind as the most important goal of the evening. Do whatever you have to in order to keep sobriety at the forefront of your mind – talk to your sponsor, attend an alcohol-free event, surround yourself with other sober people, or simply stay home. If you concentrate on staying sober and stay focused on your recovery journey, everything else will seem insignificant.
Surround yourself with positive friends
positive friends don’t necessarily have to be sober friends, but they must be those that understand and respect your journey. Going to an event where there will be people likely to drag you back into your old habits will only lead to torment and temptation. Instead, keep the company of people who will not tempt or try to encourage you to indulge in drugs or alcohol. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and other sober individuals can help you stay on the right path and enjoy your holiday without cravings or risk of relapse.
Let go of your expectations of others
at a social event, you may expect everyone to respect your path, refrain from obvious triggers, or stay sober themselves. Unfortunately, this is often not the reality. Your friends and family members are human, too, and they have the right to make their own choices. The best thing you can do for yourself in these situations is to let it go. Realize that they are on their own paths, just as you are on yours. If you make your journey about you instead of those around you, you can release your worries and enjoy sobriety.
Have fun
attending a party, event, or holiday barbecue as “the sober one” can feel like you have a signpost following you around. Yet staying sober doesn’t have to put a damper on the event. Find things to distract you such as a dip in the pool, games with kids, setting off fireworks, or chatting with favorite friends and family members. Don’t dwell on your sobriety or any triggers that may be at the event. Live and let live – and have real fun without the influence of substances.
Stay home
stay home on holidays when you would normally drink, especially if you fear going out will be a trigger. Staying home on the fourth of july doesn’t have to be boring or depressing – invite a few of your closest friends and relatives for an alcohol-free evening. Host a barbecue, set off some fireworks, and have a great time without the influence of drugs or alcohol. Staying home can put you in control of your environment and your urges.
Attend a meeting
attend an alcoholics anonymous meeting, or schedule yourself for more meetings than usual. If you aren’t a member of a 12-step program, simply attend an open meeting in your community. There are sure to be many like-minded individuals in attendance specifically for tips on how to stay sober on the fourth of july. There may even be a group planning their own event or function on the holiday specifically to avoid temptation. Attending extra meetings can remind you of how hard you’ve worked to get where you are, and what is at stake if you put yourself in a tough situation.
Say the serenity prayer
there’s a reason the serenity prayer is a mainstay of all 12-step programs. No matter what your spiritual beliefs, this prayer can remind you of your goals, and give you a renewed sense of strength and control over your life. When things get tough, recite the serenity prayer and ask your higher power – be it god, fate, or the universe – to grant you serenity, courage, and wisdom in your time of need. The prayer can remind you to live one day at a time and to stay strong in the face of temptation on the fourth of july.
Go to a sober event
one of the best tips for staying sober is to attend a sober event.
From thetreatmentcenter.com blog
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Originally Posted by dee74 
some of you will remember the thanksgiving survival guide from the blog crying our now...that blog has disappeared, although i see they have a fb page now.
I'd like to put their tips here - i think they're great for all social occasions, not just thanksgiving
* think ahead. is it hard for you to be around alcohol? Be honest with yourself. Now is not a time for heroics.
* keep your expectations realistic: If it is going to be too difficult, maybe this year is a time to do something different for thanksgiving/xmas. 4th july/festival/etc.
* don't set yourself up to fail. you can spend a quiet time at home watching movies or hanging out with other friends, volunteer at a shelter serving food, or go to a meeting instead.
* get togethers are usually about family. if there are people in your family who trigger you, be ready. You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to .. Plan what you'll say or do if someone gives you a hard time.
* have safe people to call - program their numbers into your phone in advance, and tell them you're going to call if things get tough. If everyone around you is drinking and it starts to bring you down, talking to someone else who is sober helps you remember that you are not alone. You can of course use sr 24/7
* bring your own beverages. this is especially important if you're going to be around people who don't know you're sober. If you always have a drink in your hand, people won't hand you alcohol or ask if you want something to drink.
* you don't have to over explain. if someone is pressuring you to drink, be ready with an answer. A white lie is totally acceptable - tell people you're on antibiotics, or you're watching your calories and so you aren't drinking.
* have an escape plan. If you can, bring your own car. Plan to go for a post-turkey walk - fresh air and exercise will get your endorphins flowing and help tamp down cravings.
* plan your exit in advance. if everyone is going to settle in and drink and you don't want to be part of it ... Don't. Tell whoever is hosting that you have to leave at a certain time so you don't get drawn in to staying longer than you want to.
* remember to be proud of yourself - shame and guilt are huge triggers. Give yourself credit for staying strong.
* think about the next morning, when you'll wake up hangover-free and rested. Think about how horribly you felt the morning after drinking, and how sober you don't wake up and think, "i wish i drank last night."
* think through the drink. if you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed. Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive.
* remind yourself that thanksgiving/xmas. Easter etc is just one day. A simple 24 hours, just like any other day. Don't put more importance on this day over any other.
*go to bed. if the day is harder than you expected, go to bed early just to put the day to rest. Tomorrow is a new day.
* believe in yourself. getting sober and staying sober takes serious guts - you are brave and strong and true. If guilt, shame and remorse start talking to you, remind yourself that it's your disease sneaking in the back door. Let your sober voice ring loud and proud in your head.
* forgive yourself for wanting to drink. don't expect that you won't be hit with a craving; it's natural. Prepare for how you're going to handle the craving instead of berating yourself for having one.
* be grateful. make a gratitude list and carry it with you. Try to focus on the gifts you have in your life, all the possibilities that lie in front of you, instead of all the things you can't have. Sober, you can do anything.
Adapted from
https://web.archive.org/web/20160817...val-guide.html
I'd like to put their tips here - i think they're great for all social occasions, not just thanksgiving
* think ahead. is it hard for you to be around alcohol? Be honest with yourself. Now is not a time for heroics.
* keep your expectations realistic: If it is going to be too difficult, maybe this year is a time to do something different for thanksgiving/xmas. 4th july/festival/etc.
* don't set yourself up to fail. you can spend a quiet time at home watching movies or hanging out with other friends, volunteer at a shelter serving food, or go to a meeting instead.
* get togethers are usually about family. if there are people in your family who trigger you, be ready. You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to .. Plan what you'll say or do if someone gives you a hard time.
* have safe people to call - program their numbers into your phone in advance, and tell them you're going to call if things get tough. If everyone around you is drinking and it starts to bring you down, talking to someone else who is sober helps you remember that you are not alone. You can of course use sr 24/7
* bring your own beverages. this is especially important if you're going to be around people who don't know you're sober. If you always have a drink in your hand, people won't hand you alcohol or ask if you want something to drink.
* you don't have to over explain. if someone is pressuring you to drink, be ready with an answer. A white lie is totally acceptable - tell people you're on antibiotics, or you're watching your calories and so you aren't drinking.
* have an escape plan. If you can, bring your own car. Plan to go for a post-turkey walk - fresh air and exercise will get your endorphins flowing and help tamp down cravings.
* plan your exit in advance. if everyone is going to settle in and drink and you don't want to be part of it ... Don't. Tell whoever is hosting that you have to leave at a certain time so you don't get drawn in to staying longer than you want to.
* remember to be proud of yourself - shame and guilt are huge triggers. Give yourself credit for staying strong.
* think about the next morning, when you'll wake up hangover-free and rested. Think about how horribly you felt the morning after drinking, and how sober you don't wake up and think, "i wish i drank last night."
* think through the drink. if you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed. Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive.
* remind yourself that thanksgiving/xmas. Easter etc is just one day. A simple 24 hours, just like any other day. Don't put more importance on this day over any other.
*go to bed. if the day is harder than you expected, go to bed early just to put the day to rest. Tomorrow is a new day.
* believe in yourself. getting sober and staying sober takes serious guts - you are brave and strong and true. If guilt, shame and remorse start talking to you, remind yourself that it's your disease sneaking in the back door. Let your sober voice ring loud and proud in your head.
* forgive yourself for wanting to drink. don't expect that you won't be hit with a craving; it's natural. Prepare for how you're going to handle the craving instead of berating yourself for having one.
* be grateful. make a gratitude list and carry it with you. Try to focus on the gifts you have in your life, all the possibilities that lie in front of you, instead of all the things you can't have. Sober, you can do anything.
Adapted from
https://web.archive.org/web/20160817...val-guide.html
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Location: New York
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Thank you for posting these tips, Dee.
Please stay safe everyone!
Remember there is no shame in opting out of that party, BBQ or family get together. There is always next year.
If you decide to go there are tips above to help you get through difficult situations without risking your sobriety.
Please stay safe everyone!
Remember there is no shame in opting out of that party, BBQ or family get together. There is always next year.
If you decide to go there are tips above to help you get through difficult situations without risking your sobriety.
He'd get his 'thunder chews' and hide under the desk, panting and trembling. Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
To top it off its also my 48th birthday. I dont believe I have had a birthday sober in 35 years. This will be my first sober birthday since my 13th birthday. After reading that last sentence I cant believe I kept that stuff up for so long. I can only be happy that I finally saw the light. 
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I am fully off from work this week and next week, but I am staying strong. My plan for 4th July as well as beyond is to:
1. Avoiding triggers esp. that shell gas station nearby, going out only when necessary
2. Continue my headspace meditation sessions
3. Reminding that the chatter in my head to drink is not me - it's the beast i have let grow over the years
1. Avoiding triggers esp. that shell gas station nearby, going out only when necessary
2. Continue my headspace meditation sessions
3. Reminding that the chatter in my head to drink is not me - it's the beast i have let grow over the years
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
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A bit late but Happy Independence Day / 4 July to everyone in the US. Although I live in the UK my local town marks the day each year with a ceremony. That's because my town is the original Washington from where the ancestors of George Washington originated and from where his family name came from.
Every year we have events at the Old Hall and the American flag is raised as the Star Spangled Banner is played. Admittedly it does feel a bit strange to hear a national anthem from another country being played. Yesterday was a gloriously sunny day and there was a big turnout.
Anyone who wants to read a bit about the Old Hall and the Washington Coat Of Arms (which dates back to the 12th century), there's a couple of good wikipedia articles:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Old_Hall
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coat_o...hington_family
Every year we have events at the Old Hall and the American flag is raised as the Star Spangled Banner is played. Admittedly it does feel a bit strange to hear a national anthem from another country being played. Yesterday was a gloriously sunny day and there was a big turnout.
Anyone who wants to read a bit about the Old Hall and the Washington Coat Of Arms (which dates back to the 12th century), there's a couple of good wikipedia articles:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Old_Hall
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coat_o...hington_family
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Concerned About Upcoming Engagements on the Fourth?
Concerned About Upcoming Engagements on the Fourth?
Here are a few tips for enjoying a sober 4th of July.
1. Go to a Morning Meeting
Going to a recovery meeting before any festivities begin is a good way to start the day off strong. The support and fellowship you draw from the morning meeting will stay with you throughout the rest of the day when things get more chaotic.
2. Celebrate with People who Support Your Recovery
People who understand and support your recovery are a lot less likely to participate in triggering activities in front of you. They might even abstain from any substances as well. But even if they do decide to drink, friends who understand how important your recovery is will not force, guilt, or shame you into drinking or using.
3. Focus on the Food for a Sober 4th
Is there really any better holiday to master your BBQ skills? Many people also go all out with red, white, and blue Rice Krispy treats, summer salads, and fun Chex mixes. It’ll be much easier to pass up the alcohol or using if you have good, fun food to look forward to.
4. Drive Yourself
Wherever you decide to go, make sure you drive yourself. Having your own car ensures you have a getaway vehicle available and won’t have to wait for anyone else to sober up or want to leave. You’re on your own time.
5. Have an Escape Plan
It’s always a good idea to have an escape plan just in case things get too stressful or triggering. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. You can say you aren’t feeling well or you have another engagement to get to. You might even want to consider asking a friend to accompany you if you do decide to leave so that you don’t have to spend the rest of the day alone.
6. Throw Your Own Sober Party
Chances are a lot of your recovery friends are stressing about staying sober amongst all the crazy Fourth of July parties. Throwing your own party not only gives them a safe place to celebrate, but it also gives you control over how the day goes.
7. Make sure your sponsor or a sober friend will be “on call”
Keep your cell phone charged and make sure you have several people’s phone numbers saved in your phone should you need to call someone for help.
8. Don’t Suffer Silently
Even with all of these tips and all of the sober celebrations out there, sometimes our strength still falters. It happens to everyone. If you’re having a bad time or feeling too triggered, don’t be afraid to speak up. Call your sponsor, text a supportive friend, or go to a meeting. They’ll help you remember why you chose sobriety in the first place.
Just because you’re sober doesn’t mean you have to stop having fun. Fourth of July can still be an exciting and eventful day without alcohol. Staying sober also means that you can truly celebrate and appreciate what the Fourth of July is all about with a clear mind.
Kolmac.com
1. Go to a Morning Meeting
Going to a recovery meeting before any festivities begin is a good way to start the day off strong. The support and fellowship you draw from the morning meeting will stay with you throughout the rest of the day when things get more chaotic.
2. Celebrate with People who Support Your Recovery
People who understand and support your recovery are a lot less likely to participate in triggering activities in front of you. They might even abstain from any substances as well. But even if they do decide to drink, friends who understand how important your recovery is will not force, guilt, or shame you into drinking or using.
3. Focus on the Food for a Sober 4th
Is there really any better holiday to master your BBQ skills? Many people also go all out with red, white, and blue Rice Krispy treats, summer salads, and fun Chex mixes. It’ll be much easier to pass up the alcohol or using if you have good, fun food to look forward to.
4. Drive Yourself
Wherever you decide to go, make sure you drive yourself. Having your own car ensures you have a getaway vehicle available and won’t have to wait for anyone else to sober up or want to leave. You’re on your own time.
5. Have an Escape Plan
It’s always a good idea to have an escape plan just in case things get too stressful or triggering. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. You can say you aren’t feeling well or you have another engagement to get to. You might even want to consider asking a friend to accompany you if you do decide to leave so that you don’t have to spend the rest of the day alone.
6. Throw Your Own Sober Party
Chances are a lot of your recovery friends are stressing about staying sober amongst all the crazy Fourth of July parties. Throwing your own party not only gives them a safe place to celebrate, but it also gives you control over how the day goes.
7. Make sure your sponsor or a sober friend will be “on call”
Keep your cell phone charged and make sure you have several people’s phone numbers saved in your phone should you need to call someone for help.
8. Don’t Suffer Silently
Even with all of these tips and all of the sober celebrations out there, sometimes our strength still falters. It happens to everyone. If you’re having a bad time or feeling too triggered, don’t be afraid to speak up. Call your sponsor, text a supportive friend, or go to a meeting. They’ll help you remember why you chose sobriety in the first place.
Just because you’re sober doesn’t mean you have to stop having fun. Fourth of July can still be an exciting and eventful day without alcohol. Staying sober also means that you can truly celebrate and appreciate what the Fourth of July is all about with a clear mind.
Kolmac.com
D
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quick tips for a sober 4th of july
the holidays can mean fun, family time, get-togethers, fireworks, lakes, and sometimes parties and bbq’s with alcohol. If you are obligated by family responsibilities to attend one of this outtings that may have alcohol, it’s good to have a strategy. If you are feeling really uncomfortable about attending a drinking event you have a few options.
1. Don’t go. Your family/friends will get over it
2. Bring a sober friend
3. Tell people in your recovery network that you are going to a party and may need phone support. They will answer your calls when you call that day knowing you may be in need.
4. Have a quick response when someone offers you a drink. Ex:
Them: “can i get you a beer or wine?”
you: “do you have anything diet?”
if missing out on holiday fun is bringing you down, find some sober people to hang with. Do an impromptu bbq, go canoeing, tubing, go watch the fireworks. Just because you can’t partake in alcoholic beverages, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun!
If just the idea of the holidays makes you uncomfortable then hit a lot of meetings. Hang out at an alano club or a recovery community organization. Stick with a sober friend.
These are just some quick tips to help get you through the holidays. If you have more, feel free to add them in the comments section.
have a happy and safe independence day! Celebrate your independence from alcohol and drugs!!!
by 'woman in recovery', 2015 https://a2womensgroup.org/quick-tips...r-4th-of-july/
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