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Old 06-28-2019, 06:50 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Abraham View Post
Just dont drink. I am around drinkers all the time. All of my friends are drinkers and I have not stopped hanging out with them just because I quit drinking. That was my choice. I chose to knowing that they drink. My one friend still stops by almost everyday after work with a pint of 100 proof peppermint schnapps and some beer. I used to drink with him, now I dont because I wanted to stop drinking(he was not part of my decision). July 4th is my birthday and I always have a huge party with well over 100 people, all drinking (and who knows what else). I am not going to stop the party(im still looking forward to it). I just wont be drinking. We all know quitting aint easy. You just have to be tough. At least thats how I approach it. So far so good. Although from what I read I could have hundreds of relapses left considering this is my first go at it and I only have 20 days under my belt.
This is the way to think about this, and itís similar to the way I thought when I quit. Go ahead and drink, people. I will not be drinking! I am free!
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Old 06-28-2019, 07:27 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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This might be Pollyannaish but is there a chance that you could get as excited about sobriety and feeling good as you are about the drink?
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Old 06-29-2019, 03:56 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Thank you so much for all of your replies.
I am feeling positive today and still sober and that's how I intend to stay.

I went shopping this morning for the food for tonight.
I don't know if this was meant to happen but after I had packed my shopping in the boot I saw a very drunk guy staggering around, can in hand, unable to walk really. I thought "That was me on my last day of drinking" I drove home, put my fridge stuff away and went back to help him. An ambulance had just arrived so I just came home. Nobody helped me that day.

I know I'm not going to drink tonight. Have a lovely sober weekend everyone and thank you
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Old 06-29-2019, 04:36 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Sooooo.

Anyone who's read any of my comments about this kind of situation knows the first thing I always say:

Don't participate.

Period.

Is your sobriety more important than anything else?

If so, I'll tell you that at just 3 red flags leaped out at me from both your OP and follow up:
The desperately wanting "a glass"
The "solution" is to go out to dinner where alcohol is an option. With your husband who drinks (heavily, from your description).
You being the one to get supplies for this party....


I simply cannot stress enough that "feeling positive" is just not a recipe for success - a plan of action is. That includes - very very very strongly in my view- turning down any invitation in early sobriety that challenges you- and this does in so many ways.

However. IF you CHOOSE - note the caps because that's always your choice - this isn't a must, there are NO musts, and others cannot be your whys not to drink....

Then have a plan.
Play the event thru- with you sober.
Keep water or a glass of something cold and to your taste (that doesn't resemble wine!!!) in your hand at all times.
Take a breather (ie go inside, get more chips, WHATEVER) if you get the tiniest inkling of anything squirelly. And I mean the tiniest and of anything very literally.

Find someone who is not drinking to talk to - there must be someone, you just haven't noticed them as much when you were drinking heavily?

Duck out totally if you need to.

Play the WHOLE tape thru til tomorrow. How do you want to wake up?

It's all up to you and I am consistently redundant about things that keep us sober: always, always pick the choice that takes you further from a drink rather than closer to one is simply the best plan. Especially early.

This is ultimately a life and death disease. In the situation of being around people drinking 3 bottles a piece, your mind has already been going to "just one glass" (and possibly the thought - " no one would know, in comparison, cuz they'll be drunk!" - ??) and as others have said....we can't do that.

I say ALL this out of concern, from experience, and from watching people get sober - or not.

Let us know what you decide and how it goes. No matter what. We want you here, and support you being sober.
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Old 06-29-2019, 05:17 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
Sooooo.

Anyone who's read any of my comments about this kind of situation knows the first thing I always say:

Don't participate.

Period.

Is your sobriety more important than anything else?

If so, I'll tell you that at just 3 red flags leaped out at me from both your OP and follow up:
The desperately wanting "a glass"
The "solution" is to go out to dinner where alcohol is an option. With your husband who drinks (heavily, from your description).
You being the one to get supplies for this party....


I simply cannot stress enough that "feeling positive" is just not a recipe for success - a plan of action is. That includes - very very very strongly in my view- turning down any invitation in early sobriety that challenges you- and this does in so many ways.

However. IF you CHOOSE - note the caps because that's always your choice - this isn't a must, there are NO musts, and others cannot be your whys not to drink....

Then have a plan.
Play the event thru- with you sober.
Keep water or a glass of something cold and to your taste (that doesn't resemble wine!!!) in your hand at all times.
Take a breather (ie go inside, get more chips, WHATEVER) if you get the tiniest inkling of anything squirelly. And I mean the tiniest and of anything very literally.

Find someone who is not drinking to talk to - there must be someone, you just haven't noticed them as much when you were drinking heavily?

Duck out totally if you need to.

Play the WHOLE tape thru til tomorrow. How do you want to wake up?

It's all up to you and I am consistently redundant about things that keep us sober: always, always pick the choice that takes you further from a drink rather than closer to one is simply the best plan. Especially early.

This is ultimately a life and death disease. In the situation of being around people drinking 3 bottles a piece, your mind has already been going to "just one glass" (and possibly the thought - " no one would know, in comparison, cuz they'll be drunk!" - ??) and as others have said....we can't do that.

I say ALL this out of concern, from experience, and from watching people get sober - or not.

Let us know what you decide and how it goes. No matter what. We want you here, and support you being sober.
Thank you for your concern

I was craving yesterday for a glass. My husband only drinks heavily in this couples company, he doesn't drink a lot usually. He drove last night so wasn't drinking. He has a classic 1966 mustang that he only drives occasionally that we went out in. It's his "baby" and he would never have a drink then drive it.

I refuse to buy alcohol or have it in the house. I only got the food. He keeps all alcohol at work and will bring it home with him tonight.

I have bought loads of nice AF drinks for me. Not AF wine, beer etc but juices and lime drinks etc.
I plan on being a good host and keeping myself busy clearing the table, sorting the dishwasher etc. I'm purposely leaving preparing dessert until after the main to keep myself busy.
I will keep close to SR if needed and have messaged someone from AA to ask if I can call them if needed.
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Old 06-29-2019, 09:01 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Hoping you make good choices.
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Old 06-29-2019, 03:30 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I believe you can do this Pinky

D
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