Hello again
 

Well i'm back to square one , I felt like absolute death all day long at work and i'm pretty sure I burnt every single bridge possible last night in a drunken blur. I woke up and I didn't even want to look through any of my messages. I want to quit drinking i've gone for months at a time without doing it but i've never tried a meeting , the most I did for reaching out for help is with this site. I really want this time to be the time I quit for good.

I finally drank myself into such a horrid mental and physical state quitting seemed logical.

I am pretty sure I was pre diabetic and had pancreas issues. My feet were swelling and I had limited stamina. I was training in grappling and trying to get in shape for a tournament.

I was at the stage of needing booze to feel normal. I am still normalizing after all of these years.

That is why folks regret relapse after decades of sobriety. As I heal, i forget the hell I suffered and only remember the buzz.

I crave the buzz. I find the buzz in other places now. SR, the gym, family, entertainment, positive self rituals, etc etc etc.

I had to develop a non drinker lifestyle. I am a non drinker that accidentally go addicted to booze. I will be addicted for life.

I must always remember the suffering.

It was hell on earth for months, then a little less, and so on.

Now it is like a little rock in my shoe. That means I should drink again, right?

I only have a rock in my shoe, so it must be ok.

Nope. That is AV morphing.

Thanks.

I hope you will lean on us for support to help you get sober for good this time. :)

Hi Donnie. It sounds like you're fed up and ready to get free. I'm glad you posted - you're never alone.

glad youre here

Welcome back Donnie :)

I had make changes in my life to stay sober - if a meeting sounds like something you're prepared to do now, I say go for it :)

Posting here regularly will help too :)

D

Donnie...I hope you feel better soon...I feel your pain..literally....walking dead over here.

I figure it couldn't hurt and maybe its something that I could enjoy and that will help with some of my emotional issues as well. I hope you're all having a nice sober night and missy I hope you feel better!! We can do this

I hope you're doing well today, Donnie. :)

I was the same as you. I went for months with no alcohol and then a large bender and then the same hideous after-effects. All I can say is that you have to come to terms with complete abstinence and not try and hang on to drinking in any capacity. I think meetings would help to cement that reality but I don't talk from experience. Good luck and hope you feel better.

welcome back Donnie. I have been there. It isn't fun at all but everything does get better when you choose abstinence. Did you see the newcomer threads? You could join the class of June or the July class in a few days to get extra support.

How's it going Donnie?

D