How could I possibly be happy without booze? Weekenders 28 June - 01 July 2019
 

:welcome

Welcome to the Weekenders :wavey:

Making the decision to stop drinking......forever wasn’t something I thought I was capable of and maybe didn’t want to contemplate either.

After so many failure attempts, reaping the repercussions that drinking brought to me, I realised this was the only way...complete abstinence.

That was something I didn’t relish, being without booze...forever.

I saw a life stretched before me that would be unbearable, boring, sad and pathetic.
https://i.postimg.cc/prmzHqfh/869-F4...883-B12499.jpg

How could people laugh and enjoy themselves without booze...I reasoned to myself.

All these thoughts and doubts and many more ran through my mind wondering what lies ahead in the new sober life.

Could there possibly be a life after booze? Could it be a good life?

https://i.postimg.cc/WbLrq6TV/2-B7-E...EDE98-DE79.jpg

If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes.

Thanks Mags :)

for me true happiness only started when I embraced recovery - but it would have been a struggle to convince the old drinking and smoking me of that.

D

This weekend coming will be my third sober weekend and I'm looking forward to it

I was invited to a lunch but it's a boozy lunch and tbh, it doesn't tempt me to go. Part of it is being surrounded by friends knowing whatever I say as to why I'm not drinking I'll have the lines "sure 1 drink won't hurt" etc.
Also a bigger part of me loves my sober weekends! I get stuff done, I relax, I watch programs- and remember them! I enjoy my hobbies and I enjoy getting out.

I've been sober for longer previously but I really am making more of an effort this time round and I'm noticing the benefits. I feel happier, I eat better and I hope my appearance is better. My skin is no way near as dry as it used to be so there's a lot more positives.
Hope everyone has a great weekend too!

I think when I admitted to myself that I had a problem with drinking that had got out of hand, and didn’t like what I’d become, I was able to move forward into recovery.

Once I’d made that decision I had to figure out how not to drink again, with the aid of recovery.

Hi Zombie, Congratulations on your third sober weekend! :)

thanks Mags - I'm in. :)

Thanks Mags.

In the latter years of my addiction I was self medicating with alcohol, it was no longer about being happy and relaxed, it was about being numb to anything that caused me discomfort. And there were and are a lot of things.

It was a terrifying thought take that away, I was left feeling raw and exposed, like a wound without a scab. Slowly it begins to heal, bit by little bit.

The thoughts of never again are difficult at times but the memories of being constantly drunk/hungover or in temporary withdrawal are worse. Yes I would love the feel good feeling of a little drink, would I stop there? Unfortunately not.

Happy without it is a work in progress but certainly happier than I was with it. :)

I think the idea of sobriety being forever- when you've just stopped can be a bit daunting. I look at it on day 17 as " I'm not drinking today"- and slowly I've been getting my life back together and I feel so much gratitude for being able to do these little things that I really took for granted for far too long.

Thanks mags, on the run today, will circle back and read posts later.

I brought this along from last week's thread because I know that there are people here on this site and lurking who would not ask for help. I'm one of those. I'll suffer silently rather than admit I need to talk about something.

It's freakin' hard to admit defeat or overwhelm or just being tired of the ish life can throw at me. Even little stuff when there's a lot of it can be too much for me and I get snappy or my brain starts running a million miles an hour.

I have to find ways to distract, move my body, and reframe my thoughts. Sometimes I really need one of you or someone else to straighten out my thinking a bit. That's why this thread and this site is helpful to me.

Happy. Hm. Well first - Shotgun. Then I think happiness is what I think it is. I know it isn't in the bottom of a bottle - of that much I can be sure. Everything else that I add to my positive experience of life is happiness to me. Gratitude. Peaceful coexistence. Live and let live. One day at a time. Gorillas. Beach walks. All that. :)

Being gentle with myself and others...blessings.

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/SneakyRevo...restricted.gif

Oh, and I got a reprieve from the job thingy. I have to be here for the painters today. Whew. That was close.

Sneaky the way you snuck in that shotgun Bim.
Thank you Mags and hello to all.

Always happy to see a new weekender :)
Later gang

:lol: Vman, I take my happiness where I can find it.

The big question for me was how can I be happy with booze, like I used to be. but each time I tried to recreate the happy days, I got the opposite until I could not see a happy life with or without it. That was a black place.

This speaks to me. I got to a point where drinking wasn't fun anymore, and if I thought it was I was fooling myself. I drank because it just sorta was what I did and I thought I needed it to do basic things like clean and cook because it made them more fun, or because I thought I needed it to get through events. By the end, I would black out more times than I'd like to admit because it was never enough. Ugh.

I've gotten through a handful of events sober now and while I'm not rushing to test myself, I've realized that things are really fun without alcohol, and I feel much better the next day. Idk. I also am not thinking about forever right now, just a day at a time and they are adding up quickly. It's easy to get overwhelmed, so I just keep moving forward as best I can and take the challenges as they come. A mosaic of days will make up the bigger picture of a lifetime. :)

My plans this weekend include more zoo of course, and perhaps more lyfting for a few extra bucks, we'll see. I need to start running because I signed up for a Tough Mudder race with my friends in September and my cardio needs work if I'm gonna do the race and not die. We'll see. Easy does it, as they say.

Happy Thursday.

That gif is adorable Bim. :)

This topic resonated with me big time.

I had painted myself into a corner in the final days of my drinking. My progression had entered end stage alcoholism and the wheels were starting to come off the ride that was my life. If I continued with the drinking these were my options: death by organ failure, death in a car wreck, or God forbid killing innocent people while driving and going to prison. Make no mistake, if the last option had happened I would have killed myself the first chance I got. There is absolutely no way I would be able to live with the guilt and shame.

My goal in sobriety was simply to get over the mental obsession. Nothing more and nothing less. Had I managed to function normally in society without constantly white knuckling it I would have considered that a win.

I never thought I would find happiness. Even as a kid I knew there was something "missing" on the inside and that had carried into adulthood. Only by putting in the hard work on myself was I able to fill the void that alcohol had promised but in the end sobriety had delivered.

That is my message of hope to those early in their journeys or still struggling. Happiness can be achieved, the only caveat is that it will not fall into your lap.

You can't get addicted to a substance unless you have learned it does something for you.

The first step to recovery is understanding, "Why," we choose the quick fix or mood changer of alcohol. Alcohol abuse always serves an emotional purpose and that purpose is to regain control of our feelings.

We all need to recognize our feelings and face them, reframe the pros and cons of our drinking, replace the drinking with other high value behaviors that are important to us.

To be true to ourselves, we must think, feel, and behave in alignment with our moral and spiritual values.

When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction.:a043:

Matthew 11:28-30: 28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am [a]gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

alcohol certainly made me happy in the early days, but for a looong time before I quit it was just keeping the anxiety & shakes away. if you're on SR, it would suggest that alcohol isn't really making you as happy as it used to, or as happy as it would have you believe.


anyway, it's a lovely day here. it was so nice that I nearly went to the beach in London:

https://i.postimg.cc/x14gSc7D/20190627-152211.jpg

I'm in!
Thanks, Mags.

This sounds so much like me. At the beginning happiness wasn't the goal. I just needed to get out from under the obsession and get to a place where I could begin to find some sort of peace. I don't even know what "happiness" is. But I will say, over the years, with work and determination and mindfulness, I have come to a place where I think I see glimmers of actual happiness. I certainly have contentment most of the time, and I feel at ease in my own skin most of the time. I never thought that could happen.

AND - life is not a boring wasteland of loneliness - AT ALL. I have way more fun now than I did when I was drinking heavily. That "fun" I thought I was having was an illusion.

I saw this blog post on facebook yesterday in another support group I'm a part of, and it really hit a nerve with me, and is super relevant to this week's OP.

https://www.holandwell.com/post/no-f...WBhIZE4XzbQ6jo

IN!

Forever is daunting if you dwell on it but once you get a few months of sobriety in the bag then you pretty much stop thinking about it being for ever, leastways I did. After a while forever becomes a concept that takes care of itself.

Either side of WW2 London did used to have a beach as 1500 tons of sand was dumped by barges every year. Surprised that the pollution didn't "do" for anyone foolhardy enough to go in the water.