How could I possibly be happy without booze? Weekenders 28 June - 01 July 2019
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,198
Good to see you Free2, Snazzy and Thomas!
Good luck with your future moggie MantaLady.
It got up to 32C (90F ish) today. Hot for London but fine for a Saturday when I don't have to work.
Apologies for some Brit centrism, this won't mean a thing to most of you but I spotted Christopher Biggins buying flowers in Columbia Road. A Weekenders first
Good luck with your future moggie MantaLady.
It got up to 32C (90F ish) today. Hot for London but fine for a Saturday when I don't have to work.
Apologies for some Brit centrism, this won't mean a thing to most of you but I spotted Christopher Biggins buying flowers in Columbia Road. A Weekenders first
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
Originally Posted by Zombie79 
Got up early today and was really good getting stuff done but my AV did suggest going out and getting wine since it's a nice evening but I just wrote down the pros and cons of drinking and the cons totally kicks the pros ass.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Manta I hope Alfie and Max get along it might take a little time as cats can be ... well cats but I’m sure they’ll enjoy having a furry friend keep us posted!
I still am unsure about the “forever “ word when it comes to alcohol, it makes me anxious even 13 and a half months into sobriety. The happy is still elusive most of the time too, although I do have many more moments of calm. I’m still working my way through grief in this first year after losing Mum and Dad. I think once all the firsts are dealt with (like the first Mum’s birthday without her here that’s coming up very soon) then perhaps I will be able to move forward with less sadness. There is definitely less moments of overwhelming intense grief than in the first 6 months.
However I’m just taking it one day at a time, that’s how I’ve made it this far without picking up a drink. And I do really, really enjoy waking up without a hangover every morning. I mean really! It’s such a relief to wake up and realise I didn’t drink last night. That alone is a blessing. For so many years I woke up every day filled with remorse, guilt and anxiety over drinking the day/night before. I don’t miss that at all. So when the AV comes knocking (which it still does) I just remind it where that first drink leads to, and tell it no thanks, I am not interested in cultivating hangovers, no way, I want to wake up fresh and bright tomorrow morning thank you very much
it might take a little time as cats can be ... well cats but I’m sure they’ll enjoy having a furry friend keep us posted!I still am unsure about the “forever “ word when it comes to alcohol, it makes me anxious even 13 and a half months into sobriety. The happy is still elusive most of the time too, although I do have many more moments of calm. I’m still working my way through grief in this first year after losing Mum and Dad. I think once all the firsts are dealt with (like the first Mum’s birthday without her here that’s coming up very soon) then perhaps I will be able to move forward with less sadness. There is definitely less moments of overwhelming intense grief than in the first 6 months.
However I’m just taking it one day at a time, that’s how I’ve made it this far without picking up a drink. And I do really, really enjoy waking up without a hangover every morning. I mean really! It’s such a relief to wake up and realise I didn’t drink last night. That alone is a blessing. For so many years I woke up every day filled with remorse, guilt and anxiety over drinking the day/night before. I don’t miss that at all. So when the AV comes knocking (which it still does) I just remind it where that first drink leads to, and tell it no thanks, I am not interested in cultivating hangovers, no way, I want to wake up fresh and bright tomorrow morning thank you very much
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,662
Hiya Weekenders
Manta, I’m pleased you found Max kitty, I’m sure Alfie will show him the ropes!
Saou, Christopher Biggins, I smile every time his name is mentioned.
Willow, forever was a long time for me too, I did as you do, one day at a time for a long time until I realised I was in this for life and was comfortable with it. The day will come for you too, but one day at a time is good.
Manta, I’m pleased you found Max kitty, I’m sure Alfie will show him the ropes!
Saou, Christopher Biggins, I smile every time his name is mentioned.
Willow, forever was a long time for me too, I did as you do, one day at a time for a long time until I realised I was in this for life and was comfortable with it. The day will come for you too, but one day at a time is good.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,058
Morning all,
Funny when we see someone well known Sao, it feels almost as if we know them. In the bed opposite my Dads bed in hospital was James Argent's( Arg) Dad from TOWIE , the nurses were all very excited about it. And me a little..
Manta Max sounds great.
I have a difficult situation with my Dad, he doesn't understand the need to regularly wash his clothes if ever or use deodorant - I gave up trying years ago and left him to his own devices. Now that he is staying with me it really is a problem, the odour is giving me repeated headaches. I keep offering to wash his stuff but he says it is fine and gets cross. It is making a difficult situation even harder. In the heat yesterday you can only imagine. It sounds trivial but it really isn't. When I was trying to talk to him about it he said are you saying I stink. I couldn't say yes so just walked away... Bizarre thing is he takes all the smelly clothes off everyday to strip wash then puts them all back on!
Funny when we see someone well known Sao, it feels almost as if we know them. In the bed opposite my Dads bed in hospital was James Argent's( Arg) Dad from TOWIE , the nurses were all very excited about it. And me a little..
Manta Max sounds great.
I have a difficult situation with my Dad, he doesn't understand the need to regularly wash his clothes if ever or use deodorant - I gave up trying years ago and left him to his own devices. Now that he is staying with me it really is a problem, the odour is giving me repeated headaches. I keep offering to wash his stuff but he says it is fine and gets cross. It is making a difficult situation even harder. In the heat yesterday you can only imagine. It sounds trivial but it really isn't. When I was trying to talk to him about it he said are you saying I stink. I couldn't say yes so just walked away... Bizarre thing is he takes all the smelly clothes off everyday to strip wash then puts them all back on!
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,662
Kaily, it must be difficult for you. I’m sure you’ve many ideas running round your head to get his clothes washed. Is this where the ‘nurse hat’ comes in to play and firmly say to your dad, here’s your clean clothes, leave your dirty ones in a pile for me to wash them! Or if he didn’t get that a simple, sorry dad but Yes.
Not easy for you.
’s. He maybe feels ‘safe’ in his clothes.
Not easy for you.
’s. He maybe feels ‘safe’ in his clothes.
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
morning all, hope everyone is doing well.
sorry you're having a tough time with your Dad Kaily, but it's your house, so it's your rules. if that doesn't work, can you wash them whilst he's asleep or something?
it's a big day in the cricket today - England vs India - and if England don't win they're probably out of the World Cup.
sorry you're having a tough time with your Dad Kaily, but it's your house, so it's your rules. if that doesn't work, can you wash them whilst he's asleep or something?
it's a big day in the cricket today - England vs India - and if England don't win they're probably out of the World Cup.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Sunday morning.
I'm stressing over some really shoddily done construction on my deck/porch. I just want them to be gone, but it looks awful. Decisions. I hate to pay tens of thousands of dollars and have them make this kind of mistake. Ugh.
I'll get over it. It isn't structural, just aesthetic but it's a pretty glaring mistake.
Kaily, I would put my foot down on the clothes washing. Does he need to be at your place or can he have a nurse look in on him? It's a tough situation for you, for sure; l'm with andyh.
I'm stressing over some really shoddily done construction on my deck/porch. I just want them to be gone, but it looks awful. Decisions. I hate to pay tens of thousands of dollars and have them make this kind of mistake. Ugh.
I'll get over it. It isn't structural, just aesthetic but it's a pretty glaring mistake.
Kaily, I would put my foot down on the clothes washing. Does he need to be at your place or can he have a nurse look in on him? It's a tough situation for you, for sure; l'm with andyh.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,759
I'd mention it bimi otherwise it may become a worm in your brain. ("Why didnt I say something?").
Kaily, I noticed with my elderly father-in-law that he never seems to listen to advice from family, but as soon as an outsider says the same thing, he belives. Do you have any home care or respite workers coming to the house? Maybe you can recrute thier help in talking to your dad while your not around?
Kaily, I noticed with my elderly father-in-law that he never seems to listen to advice from family, but as soon as an outsider says the same thing, he belives. Do you have any home care or respite workers coming to the house? Maybe you can recrute thier help in talking to your dad while your not around?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
There have been so many mistakes. So. Many.
I will say something, it's just I'm tired. I want it all to be over and done and if they would do their jobs, I wouldn't have to continue to stay on them. At this point we're out of money and they're two months past their deadline. They keep setting new deadlines and not hitting them. They're no where near done. It's just so ...
yeah.
I will say something, it's just I'm tired. I want it all to be over and done and if they would do their jobs, I wouldn't have to continue to stay on them. At this point we're out of money and they're two months past their deadline. They keep setting new deadlines and not hitting them. They're no where near done. It's just so ...
yeah.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,662
Hi Weekenders
It’s been hot today, indoors too! Been slowly melting in the heat!
Bim, it must be so annoying and frustrating about the work errors. Hope you get some peace and quiet soon.
It’s been hot today, indoors too! Been slowly melting in the heat!
Bim, it must be so annoying and frustrating about the work errors. Hope you get some peace and quiet soon.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
Checking in on a beautiful sunny Sunday. Lots of families swarming around between now and next weekend for the black of blank celebration. Gotta do what I can to stay busy, distracted and close.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Hope all is well.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Hope all is well.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,198
Kaily I don't think your dad's hygiene issues are trivial at all. I do agree with STDragon that if he hears that he smells bad from a careworker or some other 3rd party he might pay more attention.
bim, for the second time in this post I concur with dragon, best to say sonething even if you just want them gone otherwise it might fester and you'll be left feeling annoyed and you will be reminded of it every time you see there handywork.
Congratulations on the Cricket result Andy!
I hope everyone got through this weekend without picking up. If you think back a week, a month a year or more to a time or a weekend when you did drink I would bet that there is not one person on SR who concludes "yes i'm really glad I got wasted those nights." If you did pick up then post soon and try to analyse how to avoid doing so next time.
Although it is still warm, mercifully it is a degree or two cooler than last night. Like most domestic residences in Britain I don't have aircon as the 7-10 days a year that it would be needed does not justify the cost and I have to close my bedroom windows when I go to bed because London is noisier and madder out there than any zoo so sleep has not been easy these last couple of nights.
bim, for the second time in this post I concur with dragon, best to say sonething even if you just want them gone otherwise it might fester and you'll be left feeling annoyed and you will be reminded of it every time you see there handywork.
Congratulations on the Cricket result Andy!
I hope everyone got through this weekend without picking up. If you think back a week, a month a year or more to a time or a weekend when you did drink I would bet that there is not one person on SR who concludes "yes i'm really glad I got wasted those nights." If you did pick up then post soon and try to analyse how to avoid doing so next time.
Although it is still warm, mercifully it is a degree or two cooler than last night. Like most domestic residences in Britain I don't have aircon as the 7-10 days a year that it would be needed does not justify the cost and I have to close my bedroom windows when I go to bed because London is noisier and madder out there than any zoo so sleep has not been easy these last couple of nights.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Kaily, we had a similar (but less severe by the sounds of it) issue with my Dad. It was the nurses orders about the necessity of him having a shower and clean clothes every day that finally got through to him. He didn’t believe us (his family) but he respected the health care workers enough to do what they said he must do for his health. Good luck!
Monday morning here. I hope you all made it through the weekend sober. And if not , keep posting here and keep trying. One day at a time.
Monday morning here. I hope you all made it through the weekend sober. And if not , keep posting here and keep trying. One day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Hi All,
Just a quick evening check-in from the UK. I've been following the thread - thank you all for sharing your trials, tribulations, joys and small victories and making weekenders as welcoming as always.
It's the end of Day 181 and that marks 6 months sober for me. I have been reflecting on my progress and a few things stand out that I can share...
Firstly, I'm enormously grateful to have come this far with the help of SR and others. All the obvious things have improved - health, wealth, work etc. but as well as this my general approach to life seems to have changed. Obviously I have overcome the sheer hell of late stage active alcoholism and this in itself is an enormous relief. More interestingly though I have come to accept life more as it comes - there's an element of calm, maybe even serenity now that I never knew before. I'm starting to think of a future built on healthy sustainable recovery as my primary goal. There are still worries and anxieties and I am aware that this is all just a work in progress, but so far so good.
Thank you again friends. Forwards.
Just a quick evening check-in from the UK. I've been following the thread - thank you all for sharing your trials, tribulations, joys and small victories and making weekenders as welcoming as always.
It's the end of Day 181 and that marks 6 months sober for me. I have been reflecting on my progress and a few things stand out that I can share...
Firstly, I'm enormously grateful to have come this far with the help of SR and others. All the obvious things have improved - health, wealth, work etc. but as well as this my general approach to life seems to have changed. Obviously I have overcome the sheer hell of late stage active alcoholism and this in itself is an enormous relief. More interestingly though I have come to accept life more as it comes - there's an element of calm, maybe even serenity now that I never knew before. I'm starting to think of a future built on healthy sustainable recovery as my primary goal. There are still worries and anxieties and I am aware that this is all just a work in progress, but so far so good.
Thank you again friends. Forwards.
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