How could I possibly be happy without booze? Weekenders 28 June - 01 July 2019
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Thanks for the welcome dpac414, MLD51, saoutchik, WeThinkNot, SoberCAH, PhoenixJ, STDragon, Mags1, the Vman31. Makes me feel not only welcomed but understood. I have, needless to say, had more day 1s than I care to remember and I've stacked up a fair few week 1s as well. I've also been reading SR for quite a long time before I saw sense and joined. Being a participant makes a real difference to motivation and commitment. I'm going to stick to my plan over the weekend. Although it's fairly basic it seems to be working so that means a long walk in the morning (even though it's going to be incredibly hot in the UK - for one day only!). Seeing some family members tomorrow, mostly non-drinkers, so that's helpful. I wish everyone a lovely weekend and I will be keeping in touch. Looking forward to Monday when I hit double digits!
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
morning all. welcome Rose.
hope everyone is doing well & has a plan for the weekend if they think their AV might come calling. I find that having a plan to *do* something usually works better than a plan *not* to do some thing (ie drinking).
I think that we can be happy in early sobriety - at the very least happy that we're doing something positive for ourselves by quitting drinking.
be safe everyone.
hope everyone is doing well & has a plan for the weekend if they think their AV might come calling. I find that having a plan to *do* something usually works better than a plan *not* to do some thing (ie drinking).
I think that we can be happy in early sobriety - at the very least happy that we're doing something positive for ourselves by quitting drinking.
be safe everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by Zombie79 
This weekend coming will be my third sober weekend and I'm looking forward to it
I was invited to a lunch but it's a boozy lunch and tbh, it doesn't tempt me to go. Part of it is being surrounded by friends knowing whatever I say as to why I'm not drinking I'll have the lines "sure 1 drink won't hurt" etc.
Also a bigger part of me loves my sober weekends! I get stuff done, I relax, I watch programs- and remember them! I enjoy my hobbies and I enjoy getting out.
I've been sober for longer previously but I really am making more of an effort this time round and I'm noticing the benefits. I feel happier, I eat better and I hope my appearance is better. My skin is no way near as dry as it used to be so there's a lot more positives.
Hope everyone has a great weekend too!
I was invited to a lunch but it's a boozy lunch and tbh, it doesn't tempt me to go. Part of it is being surrounded by friends knowing whatever I say as to why I'm not drinking I'll have the lines "sure 1 drink won't hurt" etc.
Also a bigger part of me loves my sober weekends! I get stuff done, I relax, I watch programs- and remember them! I enjoy my hobbies and I enjoy getting out.
I've been sober for longer previously but I really am making more of an effort this time round and I'm noticing the benefits. I feel happier, I eat better and I hope my appearance is better. My skin is no way near as dry as it used to be so there's a lot more positives.
Hope everyone has a great weekend too!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I agree that happiness maybe shouldn't be a goal in early sobriety, or maybe ever. Everyone's definition is different, and I don't like the societal push for everyone to be happy. It leaves people feeling left out, like failures, if they can't say they are happy. Some people have clinical depression other mental illnesses, or trauma that make happiness very difficult to achieve. Instead, I aim for peace, and with that, I sometimes feel moments of pure joy. That's good enough for me.
I also find that things I used to think were "lame" are fun to me now. It's all in the mindset. If the mundane, everyday things (paying bills, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, etc.) are not exactly fun, at least I do them on a regular basis now and I feel a certain amount of pride in a home that's orderly and finances that are not a complete mess. I mean really - my goal is a comfortable life that isn't full of chaos. Take care of the basics, and the fun can follow.
I also find that things I used to think were "lame" are fun to me now. It's all in the mindset. If the mundane, everyday things (paying bills, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, etc.) are not exactly fun, at least I do them on a regular basis now and I feel a certain amount of pride in a home that's orderly and finances that are not a complete mess. I mean really - my goal is a comfortable life that isn't full of chaos. Take care of the basics, and the fun can follow.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
Today is the longest I've ever been sober in 10 years. Last year I relapsed June 27 2018.
Earlier this January I pleged one year....well basically until the holidays which is about 10 months. IDK if that's the normal way to do it. Some would argue I'm just setting myself up for failure but failure seems to come whether you set yourself up or not. Besides, "just for today" was becoming too short and "forever" seemed horrifically long. So I decided on about one year to see how it goes.
Hey if I decide I want to keep going, I can, right?
I'm proud to be sober this long and to have discovered so much. The fact is I've never felt better. New challenges present themselves all the time and the beauty is I've really come to enjoy overcoming challenges; not just with sobriety and alcohol but with life in general. I couldn't say that when I constantly ran to the bottle.
We will see what tomorrow brings but for now this marks a new record and in just a few days it will officially be 6 months sober
Earlier this January I pleged one year....well basically until the holidays which is about 10 months. IDK if that's the normal way to do it. Some would argue I'm just setting myself up for failure but failure seems to come whether you set yourself up or not. Besides, "just for today" was becoming too short and "forever" seemed horrifically long. So I decided on about one year to see how it goes.
Hey if I decide I want to keep going, I can, right?
I'm proud to be sober this long and to have discovered so much. The fact is I've never felt better. New challenges present themselves all the time and the beauty is I've really come to enjoy overcoming challenges; not just with sobriety and alcohol but with life in general. I couldn't say that when I constantly ran to the bottle.
We will see what tomorrow brings but for now this marks a new record and in just a few days it will officially be 6 months sober
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Congratulations, WaterOx, 6 months is a watershed moment for a lot of people.
I don't think you are necessarily setting yourself up for failure with your pledge. When I first quit, I was a one day at a time person. The thought of forever was just too much to wrap my head around, and actually caused me anxiety to think about. So I just kept going a day at a time. After a while, maybe 6 months or so, I allowed myself to start thinking in terms of forever. And it no longer seemed like such an outlandish idea. Up until then, I had just wanted to stay sober as long as I could, with no actual timeline, other than today.
I sincerely hope that your year turns into forever.
I don't think you are necessarily setting yourself up for failure with your pledge. When I first quit, I was a one day at a time person. The thought of forever was just too much to wrap my head around, and actually caused me anxiety to think about. So I just kept going a day at a time. After a while, maybe 6 months or so, I allowed myself to start thinking in terms of forever. And it no longer seemed like such an outlandish idea. Up until then, I had just wanted to stay sober as long as I could, with no actual timeline, other than today.
I sincerely hope that your year turns into forever.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Friday here. Everyone stay away from the wine and vodka aisle at the stores.
Come up with a few lines to say when someone asks you to go for a drink or offers you one. These days I am deadly serious when I say, "I don't drink." It's not up for discussion after that.
In early days I tried to get into a routine. Prepare healthy meals, take a walk, meditate on what's important. Gratitude list. Spend a little time (okay, a LOT of time) on this site.
There's banging here. (Construction) It's the new normal in my life. Well, not exactly new.
I'm out till later - have a good sober Friday night everyone. Sober Saturday morning never gets old.
Come up with a few lines to say when someone asks you to go for a drink or offers you one. These days I am deadly serious when I say, "I don't drink." It's not up for discussion after that.
In early days I tried to get into a routine. Prepare healthy meals, take a walk, meditate on what's important. Gratitude list. Spend a little time (okay, a LOT of time) on this site.
There's banging here. (Construction) It's the new normal in my life. Well, not exactly new.
I'm out till later - have a good sober Friday night everyone. Sober Saturday morning never gets old.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
Welcome to Weekenders Callas and Denny!
Nearly hometime here. We had a stocktake at work yesterday and some bank based auditors the day before. I was a bit anxious but everything was OK so I am relieved and glad my working week is over. I sort of feel like I dodged a bullet even though I shouldn't. Pesky conscience.
The accompanying video is a bit lame but the title is appropriate.
Nearly hometime here. We had a stocktake at work yesterday and some bank based auditors the day before. I was a bit anxious but everything was OK so I am relieved and glad my working week is over. I sort of feel like I dodged a bullet even though I shouldn't. Pesky conscience.
The accompanying video is a bit lame but the title is appropriate.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,683
Hi Denny and Callas, welcome to Weekenders.
WaterOx Congratulations on 6 months!
When I first stopped, I wanted the cravings to pass quickly, I wanted to be normal and not yearn alcohol. I kept seeing words on SR like ‘a day at a time’ and ‘baby steps’, which worked for me as I tended to want to rush it, make everything normal, pronto.
And living one day at a time, in the present, wasn’t so bad either. I had time to strengthen my resolve to be sober and have a plan ready for when the av(addictive voice) reared up.
WaterOx Congratulations on 6 months!
When I first stopped, I wanted the cravings to pass quickly, I wanted to be normal and not yearn alcohol. I kept seeing words on SR like ‘a day at a time’ and ‘baby steps’, which worked for me as I tended to want to rush it, make everything normal, pronto.
And living one day at a time, in the present, wasn’t so bad either. I had time to strengthen my resolve to be sober and have a plan ready for when the av(addictive voice) reared up.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,429
Originally Posted by MLD51
I agree that happiness maybe shouldn't be a goal in early sobriety, or maybe ever. Everyone's definition is different, and I don't like the societal push for everyone to be happy. It leaves people feeling left out, like failures, if they can't say they are happy. Some people have clinical depression other mental illnesses, or trauma that make happiness very difficult to achieve. Instead, I aim for peace, and with that, I sometimes feel moments of pure joy. That's good enough for me.
I also find that things I used to think were "lame" are fun to me now. It's all in the mindset. If the mundane, everyday things (paying bills, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, etc.) are not exactly fun, at least I do them on a regular basis now and I feel a certain amount of pride in a home that's orderly and finances that are not a complete mess. I mean really - my goal is a comfortable life that isn't full of chaos. Take care of the basics, and the fun can follow.
I also find that things I used to think were "lame" are fun to me now. It's all in the mindset. If the mundane, everyday things (paying bills, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, etc.) are not exactly fun, at least I do them on a regular basis now and I feel a certain amount of pride in a home that's orderly and finances that are not a complete mess. I mean really - my goal is a comfortable life that isn't full of chaos. Take care of the basics, and the fun can follow.
You said exactly how I feel MLD--thanks so much!
I'm in for the sober weekend. Onwards and forwards, if not upwards
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
Tnx for another salient Topic, Mags.
It was likely a SR Pundit who observed you return to who and what you were - say, in your earlyTeen Years - once you move beyond the Drinking/Drugging. That Truism always made sense to me, and is reflected in my own progression.
Even if *Happiness* is not the ideal descriptor to achieve [it might not be], I'm mighty keen on *Serenity* to describe my desired State. Indeed, SR might represent Serenity Recovered.
We've had some fabulous times, and some really sh!t times. This overall Catalog of Life Events is our Reference against which new Life Events perturb us [or not]. So, I opt for extending effort to achieve Serenity - or Equanimity - vs. Happiness. Which is transient, eh?
I was fully immersed for Decades in the fraud that 'Booze = Fun' [thanks, Alcohol Industry!]. It's nigh impossible to imagine other Realities when all Socializing; Domestic and Int'l Biz Dinners; Movie Watching; and everything else dictated getting a Royal Buzz on. Then, it all collapsed into no more than staving off The Shakes. Suckamundo Maxitudiness. Now, I revel in the mundane as Sober Life unfolds. Simplicity works.
I'm well past the fraud of that prior, mere Existence representing Happiness. I had to rack up Sober Days to gain the Perspective of looking back on all that to then finally absorb what an Addictive Charade it all was.
I couldn't look back to see it until I was through it.
I'm up here solo with MesaDog in the CO Mountains at ~10,000' [>3,000 Meters] in the cushy Trailer basking in my Serenity. The Fishing is great. The Catching? Not so much...
~ 'Oblivion' ~ M83 ft. Suzanne Sundfor ~
Tnx for another salient Topic, Mags.
It was likely a SR Pundit who observed you return to who and what you were - say, in your earlyTeen Years - once you move beyond the Drinking/Drugging. That Truism always made sense to me, and is reflected in my own progression.
Even if *Happiness* is not the ideal descriptor to achieve [it might not be], I'm mighty keen on *Serenity* to describe my desired State. Indeed, SR might represent Serenity Recovered.
We've had some fabulous times, and some really sh!t times. This overall Catalog of Life Events is our Reference against which new Life Events perturb us [or not]. So, I opt for extending effort to achieve Serenity - or Equanimity - vs. Happiness. Which is transient, eh?
I was fully immersed for Decades in the fraud that 'Booze = Fun' [thanks, Alcohol Industry!]. It's nigh impossible to imagine other Realities when all Socializing; Domestic and Int'l Biz Dinners; Movie Watching; and everything else dictated getting a Royal Buzz on. Then, it all collapsed into no more than staving off The Shakes. Suckamundo Maxitudiness. Now, I revel in the mundane as Sober Life unfolds. Simplicity works.
I'm well past the fraud of that prior, mere Existence representing Happiness. I had to rack up Sober Days to gain the Perspective of looking back on all that to then finally absorb what an Addictive Charade it all was.
I couldn't look back to see it until I was through it.
I'm up here solo with MesaDog in the CO Mountains at ~10,000' [>3,000 Meters] in the cushy Trailer basking in my Serenity. The Fishing is great. The Catching? Not so much...
~ 'Oblivion' ~ M83 ft. Suzanne Sundfor ~
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Hi Weekenders,
Congrats on 6 months WaterOx, welcome Rose, Denny and Callas... Lovely pic Mesa..
It wasn't the fear of not having fun without booze that kept me drinking so long, but more the terrifying thought of handling life without it. I'll kid you not, it was tough at first and I'm still finding my way.
Coming up to 6 months now though I'm finding joy both in small pleasures and occasional real achievements. It all seems to be adding up - I'm gradually growing stronger.
Anyway, a busy weekend of (stimulating) work planned. Stick close everyone!
Warm wishes, Forwards.
Congrats on 6 months WaterOx, welcome Rose, Denny and Callas... Lovely pic Mesa..
It wasn't the fear of not having fun without booze that kept me drinking so long, but more the terrifying thought of handling life without it. I'll kid you not, it was tough at first and I'm still finding my way.
Coming up to 6 months now though I'm finding joy both in small pleasures and occasional real achievements. It all seems to be adding up - I'm gradually growing stronger.
Anyway, a busy weekend of (stimulating) work planned. Stick close everyone!
Warm wishes, Forwards.
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
congrats WaterOx - keep up the good work. 
Dragon - I thought of you earlier. I was on the train home from work and a girl had what must have been a Uke in a soft case/gig bag, it was the cutest little thing.
Vinny - hope you're doing okay. just heard on the radio that France had recorded its highest ever temperature somewhere down your way.
Dragon - I thought of you earlier. I was on the train home from work and a girl had what must have been a Uke in a soft case/gig bag, it was the cutest little thing.
Vinny - hope you're doing okay. just heard on the radio that France had recorded its highest ever temperature somewhere down your way.
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