Can't do this anymore
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Can't do this anymore
Why can't i get off this mess of a rollercoaster i feel totally trapped in this stupid drinking cycle, drink, regret it have few days not drinking, drink again, send stupid messages as im lonely and desperate for love, regret it !!! I feel like i will go mad, i want to change, I've wanted to change for long, had countless day one's but i fail and then i feel so depressed as i failed again, I'm pathetic. I wish i was normal and happy, not a lonely drunk, either drunk, hangover or attemping to not drink, I'm so tired of this.
But i will try again so here i am back on day 1, sad, lonely, tired, depressed, anxious, scared, fat and ugly.
But i will try again so here i am back on day 1, sad, lonely, tired, depressed, anxious, scared, fat and ugly.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
Posts: 3,040
Well done on day 1, try looking in the mirror each day and say something nice about yourself, don’t put yourself down, you can do this, just rest for a couple of days and you will start to feel better 👍
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
If your attempts are failing, you will need to plan and do different things. If you are drinking, feeling bad, recovering after a few days, drinking again, you will be stuck in the cycle forever.
You have to decide if you want to be sober more than you want to drink. If you do want to be sober, you need to make a plan to combat that time where you inevitably recover from the boozy depression. You will start to feel better in a few days and that's when you really need a plan to stop yourself drinking again.
You have to decide if you want to be sober more than you want to drink. If you do want to be sober, you need to make a plan to combat that time where you inevitably recover from the boozy depression. You will start to feel better in a few days and that's when you really need a plan to stop yourself drinking again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
here's a secret Tinker....staying sober is WAY easier than this:
drink, regret it have few days not drinking, drink again, send stupid messages as im lonely and desperate for love, regret it !!! I feel like i will go mad, i want to change, I've wanted to change for long, had countless day one's but i fail and then i feel so depressed as i failed again, I'm pathetic. I wish i was normal and happy, not a lonely drunk, either drunk, hangover or attemping to not drink, I'm so tired of this.
today you can make the choice to not drink. you can make it JUST for today, or you can commit to never drinking again. and then you do whatever it takes to NOT DRINK.
some good suggestions are:
don't buy any alcohol
get rid of any alcohol in your home, garage, car, rv, flower pot or desk drawer
do not go to bars or other places that serve alcohol as their main business
set yourself up as a successful sober person
sobriety doesn't just happen.
happy doesn't just happen.
they both require effort and willingness to change.
but both are absolutely achievable.
reframe your attitude. sobriety asks you to give up ONE thing. and then promises you a whole lot better life in return.
drink, regret it have few days not drinking, drink again, send stupid messages as im lonely and desperate for love, regret it !!! I feel like i will go mad, i want to change, I've wanted to change for long, had countless day one's but i fail and then i feel so depressed as i failed again, I'm pathetic. I wish i was normal and happy, not a lonely drunk, either drunk, hangover or attemping to not drink, I'm so tired of this.
today you can make the choice to not drink. you can make it JUST for today, or you can commit to never drinking again. and then you do whatever it takes to NOT DRINK.
some good suggestions are:
don't buy any alcohol
get rid of any alcohol in your home, garage, car, rv, flower pot or desk drawer
do not go to bars or other places that serve alcohol as their main business
set yourself up as a successful sober person
sobriety doesn't just happen.
happy doesn't just happen.
they both require effort and willingness to change.
but both are absolutely achievable.
reframe your attitude. sobriety asks you to give up ONE thing. and then promises you a whole lot better life in return.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
You can do this, you just haven't done it yet. 
Make yourself a promise - that you won't drink just for today. Do that again tomorrow. I used to think I was doomed to drink myself to death but I got sober and you can too.
Make yourself a promise - that you won't drink just for today. Do that again tomorrow. I used to think I was doomed to drink myself to death but I got sober and you can too. 
Sick n tired
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Ahh think I really relate to your post. The cycle is horrible. It destroyes your confidence feeling lonely etc then starts again so difficult. And the horrible anxiety after texting etc just soul destroying. I have been there iv also had periods of sobriety were things got better. Thing is I relapsed and it was just as bad. Your on day one you can do this post often don’t drink today and make a plan. Big hugs I know how awful you must feel today and so fed up
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 91
Hi Tinker , I can almost hear myself speaking when I read your words. It’s heart breaking to hear you beat yourself up like that . Your here and that’s the main thing. Your definitely not pathetic, if you were you wouldn’t give a #%*+ about anything but I can see you are trying your best. The obvious thing is though, whatever your doing at the moment is not working so you have to do something different and that’s a hard fact.
I have used YouTube videos for motivation, books and documentaries. I turned 40 last year and I was very quick to see all my bad points ... overweight, alcoholic, smoker... so one thing at a time I have overcome two out of the three . I still have to lose some weight but try and do one nice thing for myself every day . Just something small like take a vitamin or paint my nails. Something I wouldn’t have the interest or energy to do when I was wasted. I hope this helps you in any way .
Wishing you good luck !
I have used YouTube videos for motivation, books and documentaries. I turned 40 last year and I was very quick to see all my bad points ... overweight, alcoholic, smoker... so one thing at a time I have overcome two out of the three . I still have to lose some weight but try and do one nice thing for myself every day . Just something small like take a vitamin or paint my nails. Something I wouldn’t have the interest or energy to do when I was wasted. I hope this helps you in any way .
Wishing you good luck !
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
I'm sorry that you are suffering Tinkerbeau but I'm glad you came here for support. Believe me I can relate to your story 100%.
In early sobriety I felt like I had painted myself into a corner. If I started drinking again it would kill me. On the other hand I was unhappy on the inside and drinking was the devil I knew. I didn't know how to participate in life as a sober person or how to be happy. For quite awhile I was in purgatory, just trying to navigate an alien world while trying to find my way at the same time.
I've come to learn that the one nonnegotiable element of recovery is time. You can tailor a program that suits you best but you can absolutely not dictate how long it takes before the miracle happens. Unfortunately as addicts we are conditioned to expect instant gratification. It doesn't work that way.
Keep coming back and keep posting.
In early sobriety I felt like I had painted myself into a corner. If I started drinking again it would kill me. On the other hand I was unhappy on the inside and drinking was the devil I knew. I didn't know how to participate in life as a sober person or how to be happy. For quite awhile I was in purgatory, just trying to navigate an alien world while trying to find my way at the same time.
I've come to learn that the one nonnegotiable element of recovery is time. You can tailor a program that suits you best but you can absolutely not dictate how long it takes before the miracle happens. Unfortunately as addicts we are conditioned to expect instant gratification. It doesn't work that way.
Keep coming back and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 162
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
here's a secret Tinker....staying sober is WAY easier than this:
drink, regret it have few days not drinking, drink again, send stupid messages as im lonely and desperate for love, regret it !!! I feel like i will go mad, i want to change, I've wanted to change for long, had countless day one's but i fail and then i feel so depressed as i failed again, I'm pathetic. I wish i was normal and happy, not a lonely drunk, either drunk, hangover or attemping to not drink, I'm so tired of this.
today you can make the choice to not drink. you can make it JUST for today, or you can commit to never drinking again. and then you do whatever it takes to NOT DRINK.
some good suggestions are:
don't buy any alcohol
get rid of any alcohol in your home, garage, car, rv, flower pot or desk drawer
do not go to bars or other places that serve alcohol as their main business
set yourself up as a successful sober person
sobriety doesn't just happen.
happy doesn't just happen.
they both require effort and willingness to change.
but both are absolutely achievable.
reframe your attitude. sobriety asks you to give up ONE thing. and then promises you a whole lot better life in return.
drink, regret it have few days not drinking, drink again, send stupid messages as im lonely and desperate for love, regret it !!! I feel like i will go mad, i want to change, I've wanted to change for long, had countless day one's but i fail and then i feel so depressed as i failed again, I'm pathetic. I wish i was normal and happy, not a lonely drunk, either drunk, hangover or attemping to not drink, I'm so tired of this.
today you can make the choice to not drink. you can make it JUST for today, or you can commit to never drinking again. and then you do whatever it takes to NOT DRINK.
some good suggestions are:
don't buy any alcohol
get rid of any alcohol in your home, garage, car, rv, flower pot or desk drawer
do not go to bars or other places that serve alcohol as their main business
set yourself up as a successful sober person
sobriety doesn't just happen.
happy doesn't just happen.
they both require effort and willingness to change.
but both are absolutely achievable.
reframe your attitude. sobriety asks you to give up ONE thing. and then promises you a whole lot better life in return.
I know where that would take me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Thank you everyone for your kind and helpful posts, i want to be sober so guess it's one day at a time again, and yes being patient and realising it will take time and won't be a instant change, i will keep posting and try to come up with some better recovery plans for myself
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Tinkerbeau
...i will keep posting and try to come up with some better recovery plans for myself
If you are struggling to do this on your own, and you seem to be, seek out help and support.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Tinkerbeau - I totally sympathise and empathise. And I hardly feel in a position to offer any advice since today is only the end of my day 3. But anyway. I decided finally that the only way off the roller coaster was to put in place a personal plan. It's actually quite basic. At the moment it consists of 4 principles. Join SR, not just lurk, and make myself post. Build a specific and very achievable exercise regime into my day and stick to it. Start a basic spreadsheet recording blood pressure, heart rate etc and various other bits of data every day, including how much I would have spent on wine had I been drinking. And most difficult of all, tell anyone who offered or suggested a drink that actually I don't drink alcohol anymore and therefore I'd love a lime and soda. None of this is rocket science of course and I wasn't convinced it was even worth trying but after my last miserable, wretched waking up after another pointless night of excessive wine I thought it must be worth a go. I've stuck to it thus far and it's given me a great sense of relief and even peace so I'm going to try to continue and build on it. I really wish you luck and I genuinely think that if I can do it, you can. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Tinkerbeau
....as im lonely and desperate for love,
i worked hard at learning what makes me tick and changing what i didnt like that made me tick. in doing so, i found myself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
some grat advice here Rink. I think wanting to be sober is important but we have to match that want with actions. Look at what you're doing to stay sober and think about things you can add.
The more tools you have the better the chance of permanent success
D
The more tools you have the better the chance of permanent success
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
You CAN do this, Tink, and I would listen to everyone's advice. Like Carl said, I would try something new, like AA or SMART. Try anything and everything you haven't yet to stay sober.
Do whatever it takes. We will all be here to support you. Keep posting and take it one day at a time. Just don't drink for today. And then wake up and do that tomorrow too. You can do it.
Do whatever it takes. We will all be here to support you. Keep posting and take it one day at a time. Just don't drink for today. And then wake up and do that tomorrow too. You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Thank you again for all your wondeful inspiring advice, today is going to be first day of rest of my life, today my only commitment is i will not drink, then as the days go by i will add in more things to change my life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Originally Posted by Tinkerbeau
Why can't i get off this mess of a rollercoaster i feel totally trapped in this stupid drinking cycle, drink, regret it have few days not drinking, drink again, send stupid messages as im lonely and desperate for love, regret it !!! I feel like i will go mad, i want to change, I've wanted to change for long, had countless day one's but i fail and then i feel so depressed as i failed again, I'm pathetic. I wish i was normal and happy, not a lonely drunk, either drunk, hangover or attemping to not drink, I'm so tired of this.
But i will try again so here i am back on day 1, sad, lonely, tired, depressed, anxious, scared, fat and ugly.
But i will try again so here i am back on day 1, sad, lonely, tired, depressed, anxious, scared, fat and ugly.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 839
I could have put this just a few weeks ago, although I didn't stop for a few days I just drank everyday without fail, even if that first drink didn't want to go down after a particularly heavy binge I persevered.
I'm 8 weeks sober. You can do this. Well done on day 1.
Just don't drink today. Think about tomorrow when it's here. Post in the 24 hour thread. I promise you as the days add up you will start to feel better. Treat yourself with the booze money to something nice, you're worth it.
I'm 8 weeks sober. You can do this. Well done on day 1.
Just don't drink today. Think about tomorrow when it's here. Post in the 24 hour thread. I promise you as the days add up you will start to feel better. Treat yourself with the booze money to something nice, you're worth it.
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