Another wedding weekend
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Another wedding weekend
Had a wedding this weekend, yet another. Im looking forward to the days when wedding weekends are behind me. Nonetheless this was one at which I certainly would have drank in the past. There were ex-colleagues of mine there and it made for definite pre-wedding anxiety and somewhat negative expectations.
Yet it was interesting, reflecting back on the weekend, just how little I even thought about alcohol. On the way to the wedding my wife asked me if I was wishing that things were different and I could have a drink. In fact, until she asked the thought hadn't even occurred to me. It's just a matter of time and work practice. But I really don't even experience the thoughts anymore. It's amazing to me. From utter obsession to not even having the thoughts cross my mind. Didn't have to convince myself of anything. I was sober and in control. Kind of amazing the way this brain of ours can work if we do the right thing. Anyhow feeling grateful sober once again on a beautiful summer Monday.
Yet it was interesting, reflecting back on the weekend, just how little I even thought about alcohol. On the way to the wedding my wife asked me if I was wishing that things were different and I could have a drink. In fact, until she asked the thought hadn't even occurred to me. It's just a matter of time and work practice. But I really don't even experience the thoughts anymore. It's amazing to me. From utter obsession to not even having the thoughts cross my mind. Didn't have to convince myself of anything. I was sober and in control. Kind of amazing the way this brain of ours can work if we do the right thing. Anyhow feeling grateful sober once again on a beautiful summer Monday.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Good job LG.
I was at a family gathering for father's day. Everyone was drinking. I wasn't even thinking about 'it'...whether to, not to whatever. But I had a split second where I almost picked up my brother's beer and took a sip. It was just this automatic response.....I didn't, of course. But it was weird. Maybe now that I rarely even consider booze, or a drinking event, beforehand, I was caught off guard or something. Maybe that was some kind of sign that I need to remind myself "Hey, when you're around booze, don't even consider it". My parents house is full of alcohol. I buy it. I get it for people and I never drink. Maybe that was my sign to always quietly remind myself, you're an addict. Don't forget that. I dunno. It was just weird and nothing like that has ever happened to me.
My addict might be very quiet and disabled...but its there.
I was at a family gathering for father's day. Everyone was drinking. I wasn't even thinking about 'it'...whether to, not to whatever. But I had a split second where I almost picked up my brother's beer and took a sip. It was just this automatic response.....I didn't, of course. But it was weird. Maybe now that I rarely even consider booze, or a drinking event, beforehand, I was caught off guard or something. Maybe that was some kind of sign that I need to remind myself "Hey, when you're around booze, don't even consider it". My parents house is full of alcohol. I buy it. I get it for people and I never drink. Maybe that was my sign to always quietly remind myself, you're an addict. Don't forget that. I dunno. It was just weird and nothing like that has ever happened to me.
My addict might be very quiet and disabled...but its there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
Great to hear this lessgravity!
I have a wedding to go to in a few weeks. The first one in years. They were always the event to drink at for me. Always filled with people I don't know, so the desperation to grab a drink and build the confidence to have conversations was always there from the get go. I don't think I have ever been sober at a wedding.
The good thing is that this one will have a number of my husband's colleagues there and I've managed to socialize with them a few times in the past year without alcohol. I'm now used to the idea that I don't need drink in order to converse with them or enjoy myself. I used to believe the only reason any of them (or any one for that matter) spoke to me was because I was more fun and interesting when drunk, but a year of sobriety has taught me how to be around people in a normal state again.
I have a wedding to go to in a few weeks. The first one in years. They were always the event to drink at for me. Always filled with people I don't know, so the desperation to grab a drink and build the confidence to have conversations was always there from the get go. I don't think I have ever been sober at a wedding.
The good thing is that this one will have a number of my husband's colleagues there and I've managed to socialize with them a few times in the past year without alcohol. I'm now used to the idea that I don't need drink in order to converse with them or enjoy myself. I used to believe the only reason any of them (or any one for that matter) spoke to me was because I was more fun and interesting when drunk, but a year of sobriety has taught me how to be around people in a normal state again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
"It's amazing to me. From utter obsession to not even having the thoughts cross my mind. Didn't have to convince myself of anything. I was sober and in control."
Congrats! When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction! Your empowered yourself and regained control with direct healthy behavior! With practice this becomes the norm and you regain control of circumstances and enjoy life without getting, "blasted."
I use to love Weddings. This was my excuse to get drunk. What I was really doing was escaping my social anxiety (my feelings) with a quick fix or mood changer. Addictive behavior is all about managing our emotions. Our emotional IQ (EQ) is managing our emotions to work for us instead of against us.
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11
Congrats! When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction! Your empowered yourself and regained control with direct healthy behavior! With practice this becomes the norm and you regain control of circumstances and enjoy life without getting, "blasted."
I use to love Weddings. This was my excuse to get drunk. What I was really doing was escaping my social anxiety (my feelings) with a quick fix or mood changer. Addictive behavior is all about managing our emotions. Our emotional IQ (EQ) is managing our emotions to work for us instead of against us.
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,411
great job as usual less
Hope the wedding was lovely.
I think there would be a whole lot less relapse if people would really grasp the fact that not drinking gets easier and easier as time passes and if you work on recovery, and not just not drinking.
I remember thinking I could never imagine a world without alcohol, until I could
Now, I have to remember to hold that thought when I get complacent. . . .
Hope the wedding was lovely.
I think there would be a whole lot less relapse if people would really grasp the fact that not drinking gets easier and easier as time passes and if you work on recovery, and not just not drinking.
I remember thinking I could never imagine a world without alcohol, until I could
Now, I have to remember to hold that thought when I get complacent. . . .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
great job as usual less
Hope the wedding was lovely.
I think there would be a whole lot less relapse if people would really grasp the fact that not drinking gets easier and easier as time passes and if you work on recovery, and not just not drinking.
I remember thinking I could never imagine a world without alcohol, until I could
Now, I have to remember to hold that thought when I get complacent. . . .
Hope the wedding was lovely.
I think there would be a whole lot less relapse if people would really grasp the fact that not drinking gets easier and easier as time passes and if you work on recovery, and not just not drinking.
I remember thinking I could never imagine a world without alcohol, until I could
Now, I have to remember to hold that thought when I get complacent. . . .
And yes, the thing is is that it's not just not drinking - there is work to be done and to do. But on the other hand it truly gets better and better.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
