Hope1989

Hello there,

I guess this is an achievement. I was able to post every day during this week (well, I'm still missing tomorrow).

In my day 7 (AGAIN), the anxiety and desperation have eased. However, I still have the same question marks for a long time.

I'm not sure if I should start with AA again. I recognize that I can not do this by myself. I've tried. However, while AA brings a lot of useful tips and camaraderie, it also brings quite a lot of negativity and pain. This last part was the most difficult part for me to deal with while I attended meetings.

I'm planning on starting slowly exercising tomorrow. I have been very harsh with my body for a while and I can't force it too much.

Anyway, I wish everyone a wonderful Saturday.

Best

ReadyAtLast

Congrats on 1 week

I don't do AA but maybe try a different meeting -it might be a better fit for you.

DriGuy

What was the negativity and pain about? I don't know if it was the people, the program, or something else. There are alternatives if the program is not right for you. I'm amazed at how many people use nothing more than this forum and do just fine.

D122y

I get high everyday now on natural endorphins and internally produced dopamine.

That was my goal and it is achieved. Exercise, doing and saying nice things, etc etc. all produce these natural drugs.

Self talk, like saying love, love, love, happy, happy, happy all have an effect. I make an intentional effort to make things better all the time.

I give in a lot these days to the desire of others. Why not? Usually, it doesn't cost me anything. Making somone happy makes me happy.

It took years of clean and drug free living to get here. I suffered the whole way. I will never give this back.

Born again non drinker. I hate booze. It makes me sick.

Thanks.

dpac414

Congrats on a week, Hope!

I think the vibe of AA really depends on the topic most of the time. I dunno, usually I feel like people try to uplift each other even if their share is full of their pain. I agree maybe try a different meeting? I tried out a bunch before settling on a few I really liked.

Either way, keep going! Keep posting.

snitch

❤ this!!!!

Hope1989

Thank you so much for this message. It really gives me hope and real happiness in reading it.

Guener

D122y wrote: I make an intentional effort to make things better all the time.

I really feel strongly about this attitude in my recovery and for all things. It is a driving force for me. The whole post was great, but this just really stands out.

D122y

Glad I could offer some help and insight. I didn't make this stuff up. I learned it here and there.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes meds are the only way. For now I am doing it med free. It is amazing.

I woke up this am feeling a bit down. A little obsessed over nonsense.

Things that I thought I had all figured out Friday crept into my brain.

I began reviewing the positive self talk that solved my issues. It is like a see saw in my head. Up, down, up, down. Nothing too creepy, but it is like my brain wants some stimulus.

Sober life. What would slash do? He would grab his guitar and jam!

I need to get some coffee, pet my dog, hit the gym. Early show with the wife. Yay!

Thanks.

PinnacleOR

I did a morning guided meditation today on gratitude. Man, the whole gratitude things really works for me, especially given that I really do have it good compared to so many in the world. Helps end the pity party going on in my head.

But, the other revelation this morning - in the middle of the meditation, I was feeling this euphoria that often comes along with some of my sittings. I don't know if it's the breathing or letting my mind be still, but I noticed how the feeling was similar to the "ahhhh" feeling of a first drink (which of course never ended with one). And it's right here, accessible in my mind, if I just sit and bring it forth. Pretty cool stuff.

Dee74

Hows everything going Hope?

D