day1
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
day1
its day one again but not for drinking but for using heron and i want it again want to take ******* anything i can get my hands on right now my husband is pissed at me for using am went to a NA meeting today ( thursday) but i didnt get any numbers or info where they have the meetings but am looking online for them at the moment and there is another one tomorrow nearby
my husband said he had enough and will go if i do it again
i need to take something because of flashbacks i know ill lose my husband if i take anything again
my husband said he had enough and will go if i do it again
i need to take something because of flashbacks i know ill lose my husband if i take anything again
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
Stay clean but do it for YOURSELF. Because there is a rebellious part of us and oftentimes when a family member gives us an ultimatum like "If you use again Im kicking you out" well.......oftentimes that makes us want to use EVEN MORE.
A big part of why people fall into addiction in the first place has to do with feelings of helplessness or a lack of control in some area of life. Thats why when an external person or force attempts to FORCE us to stay clean it BACKFIRES and actually becomes an impetus to get high just to exert our "own will".
So I say ignore the implied threat and stay clean but do it FOR YOURSELF, not because of your husbands threats and not to "please" anyone.
I remember when I got my DUI that I stayed clean for like 6 months and then literally THE NIGHT BEFORE I had my big courtdate to face the judge.......Guess what? I went out, got drunk, smoked crack....came back home to the halfway house all f*$cked up and the house manager saw me. He kicked me out of the halfway house and then I had to face the judge with bloodshot eyes, face as pale as a ghoul.
Do you know why I got high that night? Its because of my own rebellious nature. THEY tried to tell me I CANT get high because I have to face the Judge and I decided to rebell and to exert the force of my own will.
So be careful with that.......we have this tendency to want to use whenever it is FORBIDDEN or when some important appointment must be met. We see it time and time again. People getting loaded on the night before the most important job interview of their lives or getting wasted right before the auditions to a big movie role or an important business meeting.
We decide to self-destruct at the worst possible time. I just want to make sure you dont fall for that trap. So forget about hubbie. Stay clean as a gift to yourself. Have enough love for your inner child to not go out and use.
Even if you go out and use you are not even going to enjoy it because the fear of the consequences will overshadow the experience. It will be tainted, its not worth it. Trust me, I have experienced drinking and using "with Guilt" and it feels dirty and nasty and its a waste of the drug money, really.
A big part of why people fall into addiction in the first place has to do with feelings of helplessness or a lack of control in some area of life. Thats why when an external person or force attempts to FORCE us to stay clean it BACKFIRES and actually becomes an impetus to get high just to exert our "own will".
So I say ignore the implied threat and stay clean but do it FOR YOURSELF, not because of your husbands threats and not to "please" anyone.
I remember when I got my DUI that I stayed clean for like 6 months and then literally THE NIGHT BEFORE I had my big courtdate to face the judge.......Guess what? I went out, got drunk, smoked crack....came back home to the halfway house all f*$cked up and the house manager saw me. He kicked me out of the halfway house and then I had to face the judge with bloodshot eyes, face as pale as a ghoul.
Do you know why I got high that night? Its because of my own rebellious nature. THEY tried to tell me I CANT get high because I have to face the Judge and I decided to rebell and to exert the force of my own will.
So be careful with that.......we have this tendency to want to use whenever it is FORBIDDEN or when some important appointment must be met. We see it time and time again. People getting loaded on the night before the most important job interview of their lives or getting wasted right before the auditions to a big movie role or an important business meeting.
We decide to self-destruct at the worst possible time. I just want to make sure you dont fall for that trap. So forget about hubbie. Stay clean as a gift to yourself. Have enough love for your inner child to not go out and use.
Even if you go out and use you are not even going to enjoy it because the fear of the consequences will overshadow the experience. It will be tainted, its not worth it. Trust me, I have experienced drinking and using "with Guilt" and it feels dirty and nasty and its a waste of the drug money, really.
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