Hope1989

Hey there,

Well, here I am. Trying to post everyday.

Confused. Freaked out because to some extent I do not know what I like in life and where I am headed?

Don't get me wrong. I want to feel excited about life, I want a lot of things, I just did not know how bad my addiction was. It's sort of painful imagining a life with no alcohol (I can't believe I am saying this), but it's sort of being heartbroken?

I need therapy. I need to work out more issues besides alcohol, actually, both go hand to hand.

Anyway, I'm glad I'm sober.

Have a good night guys.

MantaLady

Congrats on day 6! Try not to put too much pressure on yourself in the first month. It takes time to work out where we want to be, who we are, what we like, and to be happy. It won’t happen overnight and you can’t do it all at once. One day at a time xx

Tetrax

Hey I can relate to much of this. It's a strange new world sobriety. I'm just going with the flow of recovery and working out things as I go. I guess we all feel these same sort of things; at least we get to be in a position finally to work stuff out. Well done on Day 6

Santi27

Alcohol has been a big part of your life and so it's natural that it will feel like a loss.

Take things one day at a time, but it's also important to make practical plans, especially to face this first weekend without drink.

¡Ánimo, chaval!

Anna

Hope, you're doing great!

Have you read the book "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. It's a memoir about her love affair with wine and how she found the courage to give it up. It's deeply honest, raw and ultimately full of hope.

Hope1989

No, Anna, I have not. But I will definitely will and let you know

Dee74

Its a good book Hope - congrats on 6 days

D

dpac414

Someone in a meeting yesterday said that sober living was a real adventure and he is so right. After going through life sedated for so long, it's kind of exciting to see where sober living takes us.

You're doing great. I think it's probably normal to feel like you're missing something that has been part of your life for so long. Keep going. Day 6 is great. Tomorrow is a week! I also recommend that book.

Purina

Hey Hope,

Congrats on day 6. Dont listen to the crazy thoughts in your mind of the first 15 days. It is like a pinball in a pinball machine going left, right, up, down, ding, ding, ding!

The beast of your addiction is firing off his strongest mental attack. Knowing you are so close to breaking the chains of your addiction forever so expect all sorts of mental attacks and know that this "inner voice" will paint any picture on the canvas of your mind in an effort to manipulate you into taking the first drink.

Just like those suicidal thoughts that I had a day or 2 ago. Just post on here that crazy stuff and then other people can let you know what is REALLY going on. Its like going to a Magic Show of illusions and sleight of hand. We dont realize we are looking at Mirages.

We see a paper tiger and we generate feelings of fear. Even though it is just make believe.

I guess what i am trying to say is: Dont trust the thought soup that is going in your head in the first 15 days. You could even call it post-acute-alcoholic-withdrawal-psychosis. I mean that is what it is to me.

Crazy thoughts, Thought soup.

Update: This headline has something wrong with it:

Day 6 after another screw up.

Now, Now......lets get off that negativity. The past is done and no need for any more self-whipping about our mistake. Whats important is the Day 6. Focus your thoughts on the happy days ahead and less on the miseries of yesterday. Our past is never going to get any better.

Onward and Upward. The future will take care of itself, just live one day at a time. Dont worry about where you will be in 3 years, that is too overwhelming at the moment. Our brain is too foggy and its going to take some time for the brain to heal. After that happens your thinking will be bright as a bell and you will be able to solve your difficult problems but for now just focus on staying clean

Everynight dont forget to give yourself a big HIGH FIVE and a pat on the back. Another day sober.

Delilah1

The book Anna suggested is a great one. Something that really helped me early on was mindfulness, trying to just stay focused on the present moment.

You can do this, and I promise it gets easier with each passing day.