My new life of sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1
My new life of sobriety
I made the decision on 12 May to stop drinking. I knew I drank far to much and drank pretty much every day and finally accepted I had a drinking problem.
I then did a month of no drinking which was tough but I did it, but at the expense of not going out. I then went to a party last weekend with the intention of not drinking. but I caved and ended up getting completely drunk with a two day hangover.
I felt massive guilt and anger at myself as I have to stop alcohol. I have not drunk since the party so rather than just giving up and feeling back at square one, i am looking at it as sober for 34 days out of the last 35 which is still a big achievement for me. I really want this to continue. I hate being reliant on alcohol.
I then did a month of no drinking which was tough but I did it, but at the expense of not going out. I then went to a party last weekend with the intention of not drinking. but I caved and ended up getting completely drunk with a two day hangover.
I felt massive guilt and anger at myself as I have to stop alcohol. I have not drunk since the party so rather than just giving up and feeling back at square one, i am looking at it as sober for 34 days out of the last 35 which is still a big achievement for me. I really want this to continue. I hate being reliant on alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
See if you can figure out what exactly happened at the party in your mind right before you decided to drink.
What did you tell yourself right before the first drink? How did you rationalize the choice to drink?
We dont need to live like a hermit but it is best to avoid any places or events that "revolve around alcohol" such as:
* parties
* strip clubs
* casinos
* nightclubs
* any function held at a bar
Avoid those for at least 90 days. And avoid any people in your life that are trying to PUSH a drink into your hand
If you see an advert for liquor turn away your gaze
What did you tell yourself right before the first drink? How did you rationalize the choice to drink?
We dont need to live like a hermit but it is best to avoid any places or events that "revolve around alcohol" such as:
* parties
* strip clubs
* casinos
* nightclubs
* any function held at a bar
Avoid those for at least 90 days. And avoid any people in your life that are trying to PUSH a drink into your hand
If you see an advert for liquor turn away your gaze
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
Welcome! For me it's less about "quitting drinking" than "Living soberly." I've made some progress in life, even with some pretty heavy drinking at times, but the drinking has never helped things. If I do get something done, it's despite alcohol and the hangover/shame/baggage that comes with it. I feel like I'm wearing a weighted vest on my soul for no reason.
I've been to a few parties where I managed not to drink, and never regretted waking up sober the next day. But I've never woken up after a night of drinking and been glad that I did it. At best I'm able to be glad I don't feel too bad, or didn't get too out of control.
What a way to live
Glad you're hear and looking forward to seeing you around!
I've been to a few parties where I managed not to drink, and never regretted waking up sober the next day. But I've never woken up after a night of drinking and been glad that I did it. At best I'm able to be glad I don't feel too bad, or didn't get too out of control.
What a way to live
Glad you're hear and looking forward to seeing you around!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Hi and welcome woody 
the only thing I did on day one was not drink. I recommend posting/reading here too.
The June support thread is a good place to be too, Its for everyone quitting this month and all you need to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2019-a-20.html (Class of June Part 1 2019)
D
the only thing I did on day one was not drink. I recommend posting/reading here too.
The June support thread is a good place to be too, Its for everyone quitting this month and all you need to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2019-a-20.html (Class of June Part 1 2019)
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
If cravings for alcohol never eased and ended, life would be very difficult for the alcoholic. I don't think I could live the rest of my life if each day was a constant battle not to drink. The goal is to get rid of cravings. This is achieved through abstinence. If you drink after a month without alcohol, the cravings soon return, so the solution is to quit forever. I found abstinence forever to be much easier than moderation. An accurate comparison being that moderation never worked and resulted in constant craving, while abstinence got rid of cravings for good and allowed me to live a life of my choosing.
Now after a few months your subconscious AV kicks in and creates not a craving, but a false perception. You no longer drink, you don't pass out, act stupid, and cravings are but fleeting thoughts. In no sense of the word do you appear to be an alcoholic, and if you are unaware or unprepared for this false perception, you can convince yourself, you are no longer an alcoholic. You've been responsible for 6 months, and by golly, you deserve to treat yourself to a drink, because you've shown you can handle it. Now you are back to one day sober. Sure you can say you have been sober for 180 days out of 181, but you are back to day 1, and now you have to start going through withdrawal again until the cravings are gone. It doesn't make any difference how you count it, when you start drinking again, you're body starts resetting back to where it was the first time you quit, and it can happen extremely fast.
You may be able to maintain moderate drinking for a week before you creep back to your old levels of consumption. Some alcoholics can't even maintain moderation at all. I have little personal experience with this. When I drank, I drank constantly. When I quit and got rid of the cravings, I never drank again. But what I have described is the common description of falling off the wagon. Feeling strong enough to take a drink, and quickly falling into the old pattern. And I've been told that each time you quit, it gets harder.
Now after a few months your subconscious AV kicks in and creates not a craving, but a false perception. You no longer drink, you don't pass out, act stupid, and cravings are but fleeting thoughts. In no sense of the word do you appear to be an alcoholic, and if you are unaware or unprepared for this false perception, you can convince yourself, you are no longer an alcoholic. You've been responsible for 6 months, and by golly, you deserve to treat yourself to a drink, because you've shown you can handle it. Now you are back to one day sober. Sure you can say you have been sober for 180 days out of 181, but you are back to day 1, and now you have to start going through withdrawal again until the cravings are gone. It doesn't make any difference how you count it, when you start drinking again, you're body starts resetting back to where it was the first time you quit, and it can happen extremely fast.
You may be able to maintain moderate drinking for a week before you creep back to your old levels of consumption. Some alcoholics can't even maintain moderation at all. I have little personal experience with this. When I drank, I drank constantly. When I quit and got rid of the cravings, I never drank again. But what I have described is the common description of falling off the wagon. Feeling strong enough to take a drink, and quickly falling into the old pattern. And I've been told that each time you quit, it gets harder.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Hi woody - it's good to have you here. SR helped me stay focused on not drinking, after a lifetime of doing so. I'm glad you're acknowledging your dependency. I wasted so many years trying to be a social drinker. It was never possible for me.
You can do it - please keep reading & posting.
You can do it - please keep reading & posting.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are here. Did you do anything during those 34 days other than not drink? Meaning, what can you do now that is more active in terms of creating your sober life? Lots of support here and IRL. Most of us find that a specific plan of action that changes not just our drinking but our mindset, choices, everything is crucial.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by DriGuy 
If cravings for alcohol never eased and ended, life would be very difficult for the alcoholic. I don't think I could live the rest of my life if each day was a constant battle not to drink. The goal is to get rid of cravings. This is achieved through abstinence. If you drink after a month without alcohol, the cravings soon return, so the solution is to quit forever. I found abstinence forever to be much easier than moderation. An accurate comparison being that moderation never worked and resulted in constant craving, while abstinence got rid of cravings for good and allowed me to live a life of my choosing.
Now after a few months your subconscious AV kicks in and creates not a craving, but a false perception. You no longer drink, you don't pass out, act stupid, and cravings are but fleeting thoughts. In no sense of the word do you appear to be an alcoholic, and if you are unaware or unprepared for this false perception, you can convince yourself, you are no longer an alcoholic. You've been responsible for 6 months, and by golly, you deserve to treat yourself to a drink, because you've shown you can handle it. Now you are back to one day sober. Sure you can say you have been sober for 180 days out of 181, but you are back to day 1, and now you have to start going through withdrawal again until the cravings are gone. It doesn't make any difference how you count it, when you start drinking again, you're body starts resetting back to where it was the first time you quit, and it can happen extremely fast.
You may be able to maintain moderate drinking for a week before you creep back to your old levels of consumption. Some alcoholics can't even maintain moderation at all. I have little personal experience with this. When I drank, I drank constantly. When I quit and got rid of the cravings, I never drank again. But what I have described is the common description of falling off the wagon. Feeling strong enough to take a drink, and quickly falling into the old pattern. And I've been told that each time you quit, it gets harder.
Now after a few months your subconscious AV kicks in and creates not a craving, but a false perception. You no longer drink, you don't pass out, act stupid, and cravings are but fleeting thoughts. In no sense of the word do you appear to be an alcoholic, and if you are unaware or unprepared for this false perception, you can convince yourself, you are no longer an alcoholic. You've been responsible for 6 months, and by golly, you deserve to treat yourself to a drink, because you've shown you can handle it. Now you are back to one day sober. Sure you can say you have been sober for 180 days out of 181, but you are back to day 1, and now you have to start going through withdrawal again until the cravings are gone. It doesn't make any difference how you count it, when you start drinking again, you're body starts resetting back to where it was the first time you quit, and it can happen extremely fast.
You may be able to maintain moderate drinking for a week before you creep back to your old levels of consumption. Some alcoholics can't even maintain moderation at all. I have little personal experience with this. When I drank, I drank constantly. When I quit and got rid of the cravings, I never drank again. But what I have described is the common description of falling off the wagon. Feeling strong enough to take a drink, and quickly falling into the old pattern. And I've been told that each time you quit, it gets harder.
Hey Woody. DriGuy basically sums it up in his post
All I would like to say is there is no way I would have been able to go to a party where alcohol was served at 35 days sober. I am not saying what people should or shouldn't do, I am just talking about my own experience but I am not sure I wouldn't have drank if I had gone to a party in early sobriety . There were a couple of times I went into a pub and thank God I didnt pick up a drink but I was really dicing with my sobriety and luckily I realised that, mainy due to the fact Inshared with people in AA and SR and the responses I received and I stopped putting myself in dangerous situations.
Concentrate on your sobriety and building a sober life. Everything else can wait.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
