Day 3 still a bit groggy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
Posts: 3,040
Just read another persons post about drinking because boredom loneliness, I think that’s me, because husband is away all week, haven’t made any friends here yet, well have a couple but don’t know them that well yet, not like other friends that you can call back in uk and chat with
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
I am also on Day 3. I went to an AA meeting at Noon and actually felt like drinking on the way home from the meeting. So I am questioning how effective the AA meetings are.
I felt this tingle right at the bottom of my ribcage which was a craving to go buy some beer and cigarettes.
I have not eaten all day and oftentimes the feeling of hunger is similar to the craving to drink and I would drink when in fact I was just hungry for food.
Now I am going to go to the supermarket and buy some ingredients and cook some food. Day 3 is tough. And then I feel all the remorse about how many years I wasted as an alcoholic and how I will never get those years back.
And sometimes I feel that I wasted so much of my life that its "too late" now to accomplish my life's purpose and then I get into morose reflections about how I should just commit suicide and put an end to the pain. How I am a failure and a loser and how nobody on Earth will even miss me, that I am undeserving of life and would be better off dead.
But this is pretty normal stuff for me in the first month. I have journaled in the past on past quits so this is just part of the process, dont worry I am not actually planning to kill myself.
But I get so depressed and I even think "Even if I stay abstinent for 1 year or more, WHAT THEN? "
"Im still ugly and the girls dont like me."
"I still have no special work skills that will allow me to make more than $15 per hour salary so how will I ever be rich?"
"I have bad social skills so how will I ever find good friends?"
And so forth. Just consumed with the negative squirrel cage thinking that attempts to undermine my quit by telling me that even if I get and stay sober that i am still a loser and a failure and that quitting drinking wont change that fact.
But of course these are all lies that the addictive voice tells us. It just wants to break our spirit and have us go back to alcoholism.
I felt this tingle right at the bottom of my ribcage which was a craving to go buy some beer and cigarettes.
I have not eaten all day and oftentimes the feeling of hunger is similar to the craving to drink and I would drink when in fact I was just hungry for food.
Now I am going to go to the supermarket and buy some ingredients and cook some food. Day 3 is tough. And then I feel all the remorse about how many years I wasted as an alcoholic and how I will never get those years back.
And sometimes I feel that I wasted so much of my life that its "too late" now to accomplish my life's purpose and then I get into morose reflections about how I should just commit suicide and put an end to the pain. How I am a failure and a loser and how nobody on Earth will even miss me, that I am undeserving of life and would be better off dead.
But this is pretty normal stuff for me in the first month. I have journaled in the past on past quits so this is just part of the process, dont worry I am not actually planning to kill myself.
But I get so depressed and I even think "Even if I stay abstinent for 1 year or more, WHAT THEN? "
"Im still ugly and the girls dont like me."
"I still have no special work skills that will allow me to make more than $15 per hour salary so how will I ever be rich?"
"I have bad social skills so how will I ever find good friends?"
And so forth. Just consumed with the negative squirrel cage thinking that attempts to undermine my quit by telling me that even if I get and stay sober that i am still a loser and a failure and that quitting drinking wont change that fact.
But of course these are all lies that the addictive voice tells us. It just wants to break our spirit and have us go back to alcoholism.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
Posts: 3,040
I always think you have choices, keep going or don’t so here I am and I have no intention of giving up, I’ve seen what alcohol has done to people and I’ve seen people who have 30 years plus of sobriety who also felt the way you do achieve amazing things, keep going and never give up 👍
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
3 days is awesome, Mummy. It often takes a number of tries before sobriety clicks and it's so important to not give up. Every failed attempt offers lessons and room for reflection-- keep on going. I agree that people who have been utterly depressed, demoralized and at rock bottom can achieve amazing things, so don't despair, Purina-good on ya for day 3. On Dec 23, 2015, I was in a horrifying, near-fatal, drunken, suicidal car accident--that was the last time I had a drink. Now I am getting help for my underlying issues with autism and serious mental illness and am in my 3rd semester of college, studying social work, getting all As. I am nearly 59 years old, so it is never too late to make things better; believe me, I was as far down as it is possible to go. Best wishes to you both.
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