Hollydoll

ReadyAtLast

When I went I called the local number and met a couple of other women to go with so I wouldn't walk in alone

Abraham

Yea, they are not really nothing to be worried about. You can just sit there or stand and listen. I've been to over a dozen of them and just stood and listened. They did not do much for me but alot of folks love them. You may as well.

Anna

I'm not an AA person, but I think that taking action like you are is a really good thing to do. I hope it goes well.

2muchpain

I deal with the same problems you are dealing with. Like you probably have done like me is you have developed ways to deal with difficult social situations.
I don't know if this is good advice, but when to an aa meeting, I would come early before the place got too busy. I would find a seat, usually somewhere in the back so I would not draw too much attention. I would then take out my phone before the meeting started to help me calm down and distract me for a while. By the time the meeting started, I was usually pretty relaxed and just spent the time at the meeting listening to people. After a while, I began to feel much more comfortable and didn't need to do all this. Also, going to speaker meetings in the beginning was a big help cause everybody is focusing on the speaker. Hope this helps. Good luck. John

MovingForward1

Taking action is a HUGE step. The ones I've been to usually have chairs that are more out of the way, not at the main table so to speak. Sit there if it helps.
Folks will say Hi, introduce themselves, maybe even ask if you'd like to read one of the pages at the beginning, Traditions, Promises, Steps, etc. There is no judgement or shame in simply shaking your head "not today thank you". You'll be given opportunities to join in but should never be pressured to do so until you're ready. There's generally people gathered before and after, smoking, drinking coffee, chatting. Join in or not, you can always just go wait in the room for the meeting to begin and leave when over.

You're worth it to at least see what it's about!

DriGuy

AA is a safe place. People talk about themselves and what works for them. Most are happy to be there, and many of them were in your shoes at their first meeting. Usually, they go around the table and everyone gets a chance to talk. Some will say, "I pass," if they don't feel like talking, and no one makes a fuss about it, and the next person will likely be happy that it's his turn, anyway.

And just listening without talking will give you a chance to see the way things work. It's really OK not to talk. The worst thing for me was the fear of admitting to a group that I had a problem. Which is silly because everyone in the room has the exact same problem.

least

I can't speak for all meetings, but the ones I've gone to have always been friendly and welcoming. A lot of people with the same problem as I had. They understand and are ready to help.

nez

Odds are very good that it will be full of people that had the same feelings and experience with their first meeting. Personally speaking, all of this was me. I didn't want to go or be there, but WTH did I know anyway, up to that point my specialty had been getting what I wanted, not what I needed. It turned out to be exactly what I needed. I have no regrets about going to AA, only gratitude. Not only have I learned how to not drink, but I have also learned how to deal with my anxiety agoraphobia and low confidence.

Abraham

where are all these fancy meetings with tables? All I got was folding chairs lined up in a row. Probably about 35-45 people mostly standing in front of their chair listening to a speaker or going around the room. That was almost 25 years ago though.

RDBplus3

I was afraid of getting pulled over when I was drinking and driving ... still did it for years.
Just sayin'

PhoenixJ

what they said

support to you

BrianK

New reason for me to go to meetings today was I realized you can just feel the calm, positive energy in some meetings. Even if you don't say word, I can picture just soaking in all the positive healthy energy, and returning what I can. That motivates me to go sometimes when I'm feeling good. Maybe that vibe will help someone else.

My Alcoholic Voice tried to tell me, "Why do you go to some of these meetings where you hear the same stuff from the same people?" And before I could answer, my new Bouncer Voice said, "Because those same people keep doing the same stuff that works, which is why they have years of sobriety!"

QED, Alcoholic Voice!

Dee74

I'm glad you're thinking about going Hollydoll - I'm sure once you get there you'll find it's not so scary

D

Zevin

I was terrified of going too. The first few times, I just drove around and around the building, not able to go inside, which made me feel so defeated.
So for the first 2 or 3 meetings, a close friend (who is not an alcoholic) went with me and introduced herself as "I'm here as support for Zevin." It's probably against the rules, but nobody objected.
I agree with 2MuchPain, on arriving a few minutes early, so you don't feel like everyone is staring at you.
GOOD LUCK and let us know how it goes!
Oh, and when they pass a basket around put a dollar or two in it. Covers the cost of the coffee, etc.

Purina

Actually if you dont want anyone to talk to you then walk in 5 minutes late and get a seat that is close to the exit door. Then at the end of the meeting when the people stand up to hold hands in a circle that is your queue to exit.

Or you can leave right when they start handing out chips. That also is like 5 minutes before the end of the meeting.

My advice is if you have social anxiety and just want to be a spectator for the first few meetings. There is nothing wrong with that. Move at a pace that feels comfortable to you.

If anyone asks you how much clean time you have then say "All we have is today". You see its a trick question so the answer is always going to be the same. "All we have is today". If you ever answer that question with a number they will know you are a newbie

DriGuy

I've only been to one meeting without tables, but is was a big city, and there may have been 100 people there. Tables don't work in that kind of crowd.

ImNotThatGuy

Hi Holly. Congratulations on making a decision to leave alcohol in your past.

The best way to face fear is head-on. Sometimes fear is necessary, but this is not one of those times. You're not going to get attacked by a lion or fall off the edge of a cliff. I hope you make it to a meeting. You might be pleasantly surprised.

brighterday1234

peaceful2

That's good advice if you suffer from social anziety. I suffer from claustrophobia so I try and make sure I am close to an exit if needs must.

And as an AA newcomer I would say most meetings are friendly but you may bump into an over enthusiastic AA member who will pounce on you and freak you out. Just be careful who you make friends with because some people are still mentally sick.


I have met some really great people in AA as well as a few who need to be locked up!