Dandelion12

I just want to know. Im guessing everyone has a different definition?

ImNotThatGuy

Are you speaking in a general sense or in the sense of "substance abuse?"

Dandelion12

Both maybe?

I mean my mother didnt smoke or drink, but she was abusive.

I clearly remember her smacking me in the face as a child.

Yesterday I went to the local market because I was afraid to drive. EVERYONE who was coming in or out had some form of alciholic beverage.

SATURDAY, YEE HAW.

Im just really confused right now.

Abraham

Using something in an unhealthy way. The improper use of something. The dictionary defines it. Hence the prefix ab(away or absent) before the word use. thats what defines abuse. duckduckgo it for further detail.

ImNotThatGuy

Being abusive toward people is different from abusing alcohol. In my mind, abusing people is just being mean, trying to build oneself up through tearing others down.

Abusing alcohol is tearing oneself (and others) down just to get a buzz. I guess they're both forms of selfishness.

Anna

This the defiition of abuse from the National Abuse Hotline.

https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

Dandelion12

Thank you.

I just want this over.

i came off benzos and then I dove into
alcohol again.

If I go to Aa I cant cope.

I just dont think this a black and white issue for me.

entropy1964

My first reaction was physical abuse and substance abuse are totally different.

But maybe not. My alcohol abuse is definitely self abuse. Self harm. And it is emotionally damaging to my loved ones...so that's abuse.

BUT...if you're still drinking I'd caution too much intellectualizing. My addiction loved it when I'd circle the drain trying to 'figure' everything out with the very brain that was totally messed up. Kind of a lose lose no?

In basic terms, if you're an addict you simply can't get high through substance abuse anymore. That's just the deal. Doesn't matter what it is.

If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, its a duck.

Avoid analysis paralysis. That leads no where.

CRRHCC

Abuse, is to use (something) to a bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. We abuse ourselves when we escape our feelings instead of face our feelings. Reasons for drinking to excessive abuse are driven by emotional factors, usually feelings of helplessness, about whatever in my life makes me feel overwhelmingly trapped. Alcoholics, have learned to regain control of their emotions, escape the trap, with a quick fix or mood changer of alcohol. Non alcoholics empower themselves and regain control of their emotions by facing them directly or replacing them with some other high value behavior that is important to them.

To be true to ourselves, we must think, feel, and behave in alignment with our moral and spiritual values. We must work to be curious, observant and mindful. We need to pause and examine the auto pilot of our lives and visualize the forest through the trees. We need to master ourselves and choose a better life. We need to become a New Creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17 "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

Dee74

I'm sorry you're suffering Dandelion.

I really do believe we're all not meant to live with abuse, be it abuse from others, or abuse by our own hand.

For some of us thats an intricate web to separate and it take a while.
Never give up hope tho.

If your doctors aren't helping, keep looking to find new ones who will. Surround yourself as much as you can with positivity not negativity.

Even tho the effort may seem gargantuan try and be the change you want to see in the world.

You're a good person and you should always remember that

D