Dealing with alcoholic girlfriend
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
In addition to what everyone has said...for someone who drinks to excess, drinking is the activity. Sure, at first you mix it up and have beer at the bowling alley, wine in the park, or liquor while hearing a band, but eventually things evolve and the answer to “whatcha doin’ tonight?” is “drinking at home on the couch until I pass out”. After a while, you lose the need to fancy it up with a respectable activity.
So much time was spent getting alcohol, consuming it, sleeping it off, and recovering from the after effects, that I’m sure I was quite boring when I was a drunk. I’ve never thought about this as my SO is one of those non-drinkers, but as a sober person being involved with someone who drinks to excess would be a lonely relationship indeed. Even before all of the nonsense and drama you read about in F&F sets in.
Congrats on a year!
-bora
So much time was spent getting alcohol, consuming it, sleeping it off, and recovering from the after effects, that I’m sure I was quite boring when I was a drunk. I’ve never thought about this as my SO is one of those non-drinkers, but as a sober person being involved with someone who drinks to excess would be a lonely relationship indeed. Even before all of the nonsense and drama you read about in F&F sets in.
Congrats on a year!
-bora
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,152
You don't have a lot invested in the relationship at two months. I'm amazed that you want to hang out with a drunk when you've got a year invested in sobriety. If her drinking presents no problem, you would not have brought it up. But her drinking is a problem, and she's telling you to leave if you don't like it. That's not exactly the kind of commitment I'd be looking for in a relationship. Now if she were to tell you to leave because you don't like her hair, you might want to rethink you objection, but being a drunk is in a whole different ball park.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 435
Originally Posted by rich27 
Im being accused of being the one with the insecure issues because im unable to accept her for who she is thru all the good and bad (bad is the drinking). I guess im supposed to accept the drinking if im to stay in the relationship. Ive tried to set a boundary earlier but she accused me of trying to control her. I know this may be the beginning of the end..this is reminding me of my last alcoholic girlfriend..i always seem to be accused of the one with the issues. This sux right now
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
yeah, now would be a good time to leave.
makes total sense to me that she would be blaming you, calling you insecure for not accepting her as she is. i say that as a sober alcoholic, knowing i blamed others when they did not accept and , heck, embrace me just the way i was.
of course you can accept her as she is and where she is at; i really hope you do!
accept her as being a person with an issue , an issue of a nature that you do not want to have in your life. it is if you DON'T accept her as she is that you will be tempted to lie to yourself about what is going on.
accept her and remove yourself. you already know this is not a fit, never mind a good one.
makes total sense to me that she would be blaming you, calling you insecure for not accepting her as she is. i say that as a sober alcoholic, knowing i blamed others when they did not accept and , heck, embrace me just the way i was.
of course you can accept her as she is and where she is at; i really hope you do!
accept her as being a person with an issue , an issue of a nature that you do not want to have in your life. it is if you DON'T accept her as she is that you will be tempted to lie to yourself about what is going on.
accept her and remove yourself. you already know this is not a fit, never mind a good one.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
