Went to funeral for an addict's suicide
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Went to funeral for an addict's suicide
Today, I went a funeral for an addicts suicide. I feel for him. I wish addicts didn't have to choose to end their lives. I wish..we didn't judge so much. I am afraid to come here or AA because I relapse. I am sad that we feel like that.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I'm sorry for your loss Press.
It's hard to know the reasons why anyone decides to take their life.
I know from my own life I judged myself way more harshly than anyone else ever could.
It takes a lot to get past that fear, and the feeling of being so unworthy of help, and ask for support but I think we absolutely have to Press.
I hope you/'ll continue to do that
D
It's hard to know the reasons why anyone decides to take their life.
I know from my own life I judged myself way more harshly than anyone else ever could.
It takes a lot to get past that fear, and the feeling of being so unworthy of help, and ask for support but I think we absolutely have to Press.
I hope you/'ll continue to do that
D
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
Dee said it right. I judge myself much more harshly than I ever would anyone else. I have had suicidal ideations, not 'suicidal' in that I was attempting of actually doing it. Maybe I will jump off a bridge if I am an 80 year old man with a terminal illness, but I am not done yet.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt 
I am afraid to come here or AA because I relapse. I am sad that we feel like that.
I would not be afraid to come here because of a relapse. If any of us here quit on our first try we would not need AA or this website. The thing is to keep trying until you find what works for you.
We all know what happens if we keep using.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Maybe if you'd post here more often, you wouldn't relapse as much. I know coming here in my early days helped me stay strong. 
I am very sorry about the loss of your friend in such an awful way.
I am very sorry about the loss of your friend in such an awful way.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
The best thing you could do for yourself is pour those bottles down the drain.
You're a parent yourself right?
Do it in honour and memory of that poor woman's son.
Dump it, Press. You know it's the right thing to do.
D
You're a parent yourself right?
Do it in honour and memory of that poor woman's son.
Dump it, Press. You know it's the right thing to do.
D
Sick n tired
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Very sad press. I know too many that have done this from rehab and from the rooms of Aa. Please please do not drink that wine. Remember last time? How bad you felt the hangover darkness anxiety etc? Do you really want to feel like that? I’m sure you don’t. Pour the wine away it’s nothing good for you at all.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,833
First of all, sorry for your loss. I know how bad it can get. Many times I thought about ending my life. So glad I hung on until I could surrender and find recovery.
In my experience, nobody could possibly pass judgement on me like I could on myself. If you are vulnerable and truly reach out, I think you'll find many willing to help. As long as there is life, there is hope.
In my experience, nobody could possibly pass judgement on me like I could on myself. If you are vulnerable and truly reach out, I think you'll find many willing to help. As long as there is life, there is hope.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Pressmetilihurt
Making big decisions scares me.
what is there to fear in deciding to go to any length for victory over alcohol? welp, for me that was fear of the unknown- i had no clue what my life without alcohol would be like.
something that helped give me courage was fear of the known-what my life with alcohol still in it would be like.
just gotta decide to go to any lengths and get some courage-courage doesnt mean the absence of fear;it means you'll do the right thing in spite of fear.
heres a thread of mine from a few years ago. it wasnt easy going through that but i did it sober
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...bit-angry.html (sad news that has me a wee bit angry)
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
I poured out the wine. I feel like crying. I'm not sure if those two are related. I went for a very slow jog/walk today. Here's a list of things I used to enjoy and have stopped doing: cycling in the hills, river rafting, parties, volunteer work, hiking, camping, graduate school, journalling, exercise programs, swimming,....
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North of the border
Posts: 125
Nice first steps in the right direction, Press.
Pouring out the wine... then everything else is possible.
Movement creates momentum. Right? It's always my answer to dealing with stress "naturally".
Exercise, even slow movement, allows for deeper breathing, which helps fight paralyzing anxiety and cravings.
What's next?
Pouring out the wine... then everything else is possible.
Movement creates momentum. Right? It's always my answer to dealing with stress "naturally".
Exercise, even slow movement, allows for deeper breathing, which helps fight paralyzing anxiety and cravings.
What's next?
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