Day 10
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
Day 10
Cannot believe I have made it to Day 10. More than 10 days ago things looked very grim and bleak. My life was spiraling downward out of control very quickly. I was quickly losing my sanity and grip on reality because of my alcoholism. Miraculously, I asked an older man in the AA program with a lot of time sober to be my sponsor even though this is frowned upon in AA since I am a woman. But I was desperate and I wanted what he had, and he agreed to sponsor me and even told me he has sponsored other women in the program so that made me feel more comfortable. I don't think I would have 10 days today without his help which shows how important a sponsor can be. I was detoxing for several days in bed. The cravings hit me hard on days 6 and 7, but I just continued to eat food and chocolate and the cravings passed. The cravings have eased up on Days 9 and 10. I am praying to God each day for the mental obsession to be completely lifted. I am to the point in which I don't care if I gain weight since I feel I can take care of that later when the cravings get better. Yesterday and today I was able to get massive amounts of errands and tasks done that I neglected when I was drinking and hungover. My life is slowly coming back. I feel hope again in life. Just want to keep it up.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
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Posts: 967
Thanks everyone. It’s been difficult coping with distressing emotions which I have turned to drinking to cope with. Obviously the drinking made everything worse. So it really helped to get a passionate sponsor about the program and not drinking to get me over the hump. The female sponsors I had were helpful but just didn’t have the zest of this new male sponsor. When I was able to get 3 years at the age of 21-24 (im
now 39) I also had a male sponsor. So I also may just work with males better. Who knows, but when you are desperate not to die, end up in jail or an institution, you do whatever works!
now 39) I also had a male sponsor. So I also may just work with males better. Who knows, but when you are desperate not to die, end up in jail or an institution, you do whatever works!
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
I’m rooting for you as well. People have been rooting for me around me and in the program for the past several months, and I continued to let people down. I even was losing faith in myself that I could do it. So it feels so refreshing to have turned things around. Even my mom told me when I continued to drink that she just didn’t think I could handle life.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
Originally Posted by FreedomCA 
I’m rooting for you as well. People have been rooting for me around me and in the program for the past several months, and I continued to let people down. I even was losing faith in myself that I could do it. So it feels so refreshing to have turned things around. Even my mom told me when I continued to drink that she just didn’t think I could handle life.
But that's seriously where our thinking takes us, doesn't it? Then like you said, you begin to lose faith in yourself. What an ugly spiral! This cycle (and your post in particular) has helped me see way more clearly that I have to grab hold of my program, whatever it is, and use it like a tool. For some reason I tend to want to just "do the right things" and hope "autopilot" will take over and at some point I'll be "fixed".
So, um, I'm just sort of getting the hang of this whole "engaging with life" thing now!
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