Meraviglioso

I've had it. I cannot take this life anymore. I went to rehab, came out and had a few bad experiences I don't really want to get into. I've got two legal battles going, one for my DUI one for custody of my kids. Whatever, I could list a million excuses for drinking but the fact is I drink and it is bad. I have an appointment in one hour at the outpatient rehab place I have been to before. I am going to talk to them about going to a "community" they call it here. It lasts 6 months and consists of psychological support, activities and required work- on a farm or in a garage, or washing dishes, anything.

I'm tired of trying and failing and will continue to do anything to beat this. Including leaving my work, kids, life for 6 months.

Dee74

It could be the best decision you ever make Mera.

I had to rebuild myself from the ground up - leaving out, excising, those parts I knew were incompatible with staying sober.

Its a long and painful process - tho not as long as painful as my drinking story.

If a "community' helps you in that process, go for it.

D

Caramel

Wishing you well, Mera.

lessgravity

Sorry to see you're back drinking again Mera. I know much of what you've been through and been pulling for you for a long time. Do what's necessary. You have a wonderful life you deserve to live. Rooting for you.

BrianK

Mera, it sounds awesome to me that you're in clear and honest enough spiritual/mental/whateverthehellworksforusdrunks place that can say, "I need to do this!" Especially that kind of commitment.

Eddiebuckle

Mera,

As hard as this may be to experience, I felt an awful lot like that in December 2009. My life was in pieces and I had no expectation that it would ever get better; I couldn't NOT drink and I had all kinds of consequences crashing down: unemployable, health issues, isolation, despair. I chose to go to rehab only because I had no other idea what to do.

Folks like us have to be willing to go to any length to get sobriety. And we need to do that every day. That sense of despair you feel is actually a very good thing: it can be the basis of your new life, because when you know without a shadow of a doubt that a drink will land you right back to that pit of despair - 'any length' isn't all that difficult to do just for today.

Never forget your last drink, or chances are you haven't had it yet.

Numblady

I know how hard you have worked to get your kids and most of all their trust back. I hope and pray this gets you what you need to get there. Still rooting for you.

BrianK

I'm emailing this to myself so I see it every day. Thank you!

Misssy2

You sound ready...and although work, kids and wife will miss you...they probably won't miss the drinking and the "chaos" it brings....

You deserve this break and new chance at life. I hope you do go to this program and I wish you well.

Hawkeye13

I think it is a great idea Mera--you deserve peace, happiness, and sobriety.
A longer term program would really give you the support to dig deep into causes and structure to heal.

I'm also rooting for you.

Clarity51

Hi, Mera. I'm so sorry you're going through this. But whats most important is you get right back on the horse. If you are able to go stay in sober living, it may be the best thing. Its been almost 7 years ago when i finally quit meth and the way i did it was go live in a sober living house for 6 months. It made getting clean so much easier. Whatever you decide, i hope you know that we are here for you.

August252015

Hi Mera- I too have been glad to have you here and cheering from you from this country....you have had so much up and down and life and fam and challenges and....getting sober and staying that way is indeed the hardest thing I ever did. I too had to put it before everything else.

Sending you hugs and brave wishes from here. xx

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear that you are taking action Mera. Getting sober for us is worth sacrificing a lot of very important things - and if we don't many of those things get taken away from us permanently anyway.

One thing I don't see on your list of "anything" though is the unconditional acceptance that drinking even one sip of alcohol is never an option - ever again. I know it's hard to even define what that means, but I personally feel that no program of recovery or rehab or sober living community can "fix" you or make it happen - we have to do that ourselves. I’m not suggesting the sober community you will enter won’t help-I think it’s a great idea. But enter it knowing the onus is on you to do the heavy lifting with the program there to support your work. I wish you the best of luck in making that pledge/acceptance/declaration in whatever fashion you find most appropriate - but i think that's the most important step.

MLD51

Wishing you the best, Mera, whatever you decide to do. I think 6 months away could be just what you need. You will probably gain a new perspective on what is REALLY important in life - and it may just be the best step in regaining the trust of your kids and ex.

Anna

Mera, I hope the out-patient plan works for you, and I'm glad you're taking action.

I know this is a tough time for you. You always have my support.

JScatt

Hi Mera! Sorry you are going through all of this! After about a month sober I was going nuts with emotions, cravings etc.
A very good friend of mine has a cabin way, way off the grid in Washington state and I stayed there with my non drinking girlfriend for a month, it did have solar power enough for a refrigerator but thats it, no running water, no lights, no flushing toilet. There was a water well and a lake/streams near by but if you wanted hot water you had to warm it on a wood burning stove. We had plenty of food in the freezer but we opted to fish and hunt for as long as we could before reverting to the food in the freezer, the hunting was mostly squirrels and rabbits. We had to chop wood, lug jugs of water and hunt/fish everyday, if I were drinking I would have starved or dehydrated or froze to death. Being the outdoors type made it KINDA easier for me but it really was an experience of a life time.
Anyway, I know what you are thinking of doing isn't as extreme but I think it would really help you, heck, if I didn't get as far away from everything as I did I would have relapsed.
I say go for it...we are all rooting for you!

Hevyn

It's a great idea, Mera. I hope the appointment went well. We're always going to be here to listen & help if we can.

fini

hug to you, Mera.
good to see you determined.

mariposa

thomas11

Hi Mera, just chiming in....I know you have struggled as I have followed it. Just throwing my support your way. I want to see you succeed. Jeff.