jess1804

Wanting to document this journey because this helps me to stay the course. My body feels so strange:
- I’m exhausted all day, brain fog. Staring off into space. But at night can’t shut down, I’m all energy! If only it could flip!! Any suggestions?
- I’m experiencing emotions on a range that’s bizarre. Laughing a lot, at things I usually don’t find funny. And then crying at stuff on tv or on the internet.... within a matter of minutes. I must seem crazy
- breathing deeply feels amazing. I have laid down just to breath and thinking about breathing....
- I feel high.
- I feel like time has slowed down. Every day seems long and there’s a lot going on in the world that I wasn’t aware of
- some kind of negativity vail has lifted and everything seems really hopeful.

Misssy2

I"m happy that you feel the negativity veil has lifted...

You sound like me when I am "manic"...

Typically the Drs put "mania" in a Bipolar category....I have various reasons why I get mania....because I believe after binging alcohol makes your brain go crazy...and I have Frontal Temporal Dementia which makes my "behaviors" crazy.

Mania is a great feeling except...it does impact sleep...it is probably your brain readjusting without alcohol....

When I have this I have to take medication to calm down.

I have sleep gummies that are sold on line an over the counter...OLLY Restful Sleep...they are so good...I doze off about 20 minutes after taking them.

I also have Trazadone....which knocks me out cold in about 30 minutes...

I'm not suggesting you take drugs..or need drugs....I am not a Dr.

I am only telling you what works for me...I can't control the ups and downs without medicaton...I'm also on an antidepressent.

The Doctors think I am on a mood stabilizer but I do not take it....I don't LIKE taking a lot of pills....but sometimes it is necessary to take something to calm my "wired" self....

Which is why I was probably self medicating with alcohol.

BrianK

Day 9 here and pretty much everything you described is the same for me too, but less intense. I remember Day 2, which was last Wednesday, and I felt kind and outgoing to everyone, like I was apologising to God and the world for being a drunk and showing my gratitude for getting away with it one last time. Then last Friday, Day 4, I was so depressed when I got to work I had to consciously tell my legs to lift in order to walk.

I've already had some ups and downs today and haven't even left the house yet.
I'm hanging on to the idea that "feelings are not facts." They say more about where I am mentally/spiritually/emotionally at a particular moment in a particular set of circumstances than about the Reality going on around me. And sometimes, even with that added awareness and putting things into context, it STILL sucks! But for me it does give me that sliver of a window of awareness so I'm more likely to say, for example, "I FEEL sad" versus "I AM sad." Life is still good, I'm grateful for the gift of it, and, right now I happen to be feeling "x".

Last night I took a nosedive emotionally, but then realized I'd been up for 18.5 hours. With just a sliver of awareness, I decided to at least try to set all my thinking aside, sleep on it, and see what the morning brought. Still a little "off" this morning, but not as much.

I'm only halfway through my pot of coffee though

Dee74

Hi Jess - all that is pretty familiar to me - I think it's just something you need to enjoy the good bits and get through the not so good bits.

remember we're always here for support.

D