Day 8: Sobriety "Groundhog Day"
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Join Date: Jun 2019
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Day 8: Sobriety "Groundhog Day"
Last Tuesday something told me, "Now is the time to either stop drinking or accept that this is how the rest of your life is going to be." I've spent a lot of time reflecting how I felt a week ago at the various points throughout the day. It's still vivid enough to recall in detail and I don't want to let the "alcoholic amnesia" forget the moment I decided to cooperate with grace and let it go.
I especially realized as I got home from work that I had friends to log on and chat with. I have not felt less alone in a long time!
I'm thinking of spending some time each Tuesday morning reflecting on Tuesday, June 4, 2019 and calling it my "sobriety groundhog day." Not so much on the negative hurt and self-hatred, but on the improvements since then. Not sure if anyone else does this, but it never occurred to me before, and seemed like it might be a good thing.
And I felt like celebrating a little tonite. So I'm splurging on myself by posting this, and having spinach salad and pineapple with cottage cheese for dessert.
Thank you again for making this community possible!
I especially realized as I got home from work that I had friends to log on and chat with. I have not felt less alone in a long time!
I'm thinking of spending some time each Tuesday morning reflecting on Tuesday, June 4, 2019 and calling it my "sobriety groundhog day." Not so much on the negative hurt and self-hatred, but on the improvements since then. Not sure if anyone else does this, but it never occurred to me before, and seemed like it might be a good thing.
And I felt like celebrating a little tonite. So I'm splurging on myself by posting this, and having spinach salad and pineapple with cottage cheese for dessert.
Thank you again for making this community possible!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Good job on one week man. I'm following this. Finishing up my day 2 tonight. I hate counting though but its hard to avoid online while writing everything down. Best of luck to ya. Have a good night. Your only about an hour south of me. I'm in the detroit area.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
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Wow...it seems like you have more than 8 days for some reason....
You have the "gift" I can tell....I didn't know you before but with your very articulate writing style I "know" how you were before and you are completely changed.
I don't know if you are going to "dabble" in AA or not...but if you ever do...you will hear something about a "psychic change"...
These "new" feelings and thoughts and reflections and awesome ideas that you have...are all part of how "different" you are than you were a month ago when you were in the thros of alcohol....You have experienced a "psychic change".
I don't know if you know how LUCKY you are.....you are destined to now be sober..and to have a wonderful fulling life....and I am so happy for you.
I love you and your posts are great....I don't have to tell you to keep going...because I can TELL that you will....
Spinach salad thou? LOL...Yuk....I like a lot of junk food sorry.
Congratulations to you Brian.
You have the "gift" I can tell....I didn't know you before but with your very articulate writing style I "know" how you were before and you are completely changed.
I don't know if you are going to "dabble" in AA or not...but if you ever do...you will hear something about a "psychic change"...
These "new" feelings and thoughts and reflections and awesome ideas that you have...are all part of how "different" you are than you were a month ago when you were in the thros of alcohol....You have experienced a "psychic change".
I don't know if you know how LUCKY you are.....you are destined to now be sober..and to have a wonderful fulling life....and I am so happy for you.
I love you and your posts are great....I don't have to tell you to keep going...because I can TELL that you will....
Spinach salad thou? LOL...Yuk....I like a lot of junk food sorry.
Congratulations to you Brian.
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Thank you, Missy, and everyone here. I don't know why I've been spared some of the hellish withdrawal symptoms so many others have. And their sharing them on here REALLY helps me check myself, because I don't know if I could make it through that.
This forum helps me short-circuit my thinking when it goes to a dark place. Now that I think of it, that's the main reason I began drinking 20 years ago...suddenly "life was good." Now that that crutch is gone (if I want to live at all) I'm in dangerous territory if I don't get outside myself. And when I'm home alone, in that place, with no one I can call and have a real conversation about craving with, this forum and everyone here is that line of defense.
This forum helps me short-circuit my thinking when it goes to a dark place. Now that I think of it, that's the main reason I began drinking 20 years ago...suddenly "life was good." Now that that crutch is gone (if I want to live at all) I'm in dangerous territory if I don't get outside myself. And when I'm home alone, in that place, with no one I can call and have a real conversation about craving with, this forum and everyone here is that line of defense.
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Originally Posted by Abraham 
Good job on one week man. I'm following this. Finishing up my day 2 tonight. I hate counting though but its hard to avoid online while writing everything down. Best of luck to ya. Have a good night. Your only about an hour south of me. I'm in the detroit area.
) And it actually helps get me out of bed in a better mindset. Like, "Hey, I get to write Day 9!" And it's right next to my coffee pot, so I kick off my day with a new number and fresh cup of coffee. Part of me feels childish, but then when I see kids running around laughing on a playground I don't see them swilling booze, so they might be on to something... 
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Brian- been keeping up with your start to this life and great job! So, here's my $0.02 on the Groundhog Day idea.
Kinda cool way to think of it! I had to do a kind of split screen like in a movie or show. The bigger part of the picture needed to be where I was going. The small part, and the one that receding to just enough importance and clear memory not to go back to it being the big one, was the day I quit and what led to it. The terror, the sickness, the decision to dare to find a life sober...that does indeed need to be tucked away - but I found that it is something we are better not dwelling on and I'd say....not reliving every day.
AA teaches us about hope for the future. Learning where we can go. So, whatever method someone uses for getting and staying sober, IME and IMO, that's the most important part.
Do whatever you need to for Day 9, and so on - I'd suggest being open to the thoughts of moving forward to take the lead. I forget if you are interested in starting AA but with your initial momentum and thoughts, it would be a great time to start the program with a sponsor who can help with all the stuff that will be coming up.
Keep going!
Kinda cool way to think of it! I had to do a kind of split screen like in a movie or show. The bigger part of the picture needed to be where I was going. The small part, and the one that receding to just enough importance and clear memory not to go back to it being the big one, was the day I quit and what led to it. The terror, the sickness, the decision to dare to find a life sober...that does indeed need to be tucked away - but I found that it is something we are better not dwelling on and I'd say....not reliving every day.
AA teaches us about hope for the future. Learning where we can go. So, whatever method someone uses for getting and staying sober, IME and IMO, that's the most important part.
Do whatever you need to for Day 9, and so on - I'd suggest being open to the thoughts of moving forward to take the lead. I forget if you are interested in starting AA but with your initial momentum and thoughts, it would be a great time to start the program with a sponsor who can help with all the stuff that will be coming up.
Keep going!
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Originally Posted by August252015
Brian- been keeping up with your start to this life and great job! So, here's my $0.02 on the Groundhog Day idea.
Kinda cool way to think of it! I had to do a kind of split screen like in a movie or show. The bigger part of the picture needed to be where I was going. The small part, and the one that receding to just enough importance and clear memory not to go back to it being the big one, was the day I quit and what led to it. The terror, the sickness, the decision to dare to find a life sober...that does indeed need to be tucked away - but I found that it is something we are better not dwelling on and I'd say....not reliving every day.
AA teaches us about hope for the future. Learning where we can go. So, whatever method someone uses for getting and staying sober, IME and IMO, that's the most important part.
Do whatever you need to for Day 9, and so on - I'd suggest being open to the thoughts of moving forward to take the lead. I forget if you are interested in starting AA but with your initial momentum and thoughts, it would be a great time to start the program with a sponsor who can help with all the stuff that will be coming up.
Keep going!
Kinda cool way to think of it! I had to do a kind of split screen like in a movie or show. The bigger part of the picture needed to be where I was going. The small part, and the one that receding to just enough importance and clear memory not to go back to it being the big one, was the day I quit and what led to it. The terror, the sickness, the decision to dare to find a life sober...that does indeed need to be tucked away - but I found that it is something we are better not dwelling on and I'd say....not reliving every day.
AA teaches us about hope for the future. Learning where we can go. So, whatever method someone uses for getting and staying sober, IME and IMO, that's the most important part.
Do whatever you need to for Day 9, and so on - I'd suggest being open to the thoughts of moving forward to take the lead. I forget if you are interested in starting AA but with your initial momentum and thoughts, it would be a great time to start the program with a sponsor who can help with all the stuff that will be coming up.
Keep going!
I have been going to an AA group that meets daily. I don't go every day, but most workdays, so far, since it's perfectly timed with my job (a little too perfectly to be an "accident", I believe
) In fact it was AA that even allowed me to consider the idea of God as "real" (I'm hope He still finds that at least a little funny) 20 years ago. It's been a slow back-and-forth tug of war of sobriety and spirituality versus drunkenness and apathy my whole adult life.I did work the steps with a sponsor 10 years ago when I first regularly attended meetings and it was a transitional experience for me. Looking back and reflecting I can see some areas where I didn't realize I had to go deeper and allowed some blind spots to remain unseen. I'm open to a sponsor and I believe I will find one soon. I'm trying to focus my listening in meetings and shaking hands and making some connections. I don't feel desperate to find one, say, in the next few days, BUT, whenever I hear the word "sponsor" it convicts my conscience a little, and that tells me it'd be wise to make that happen sooner than later.
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I think your thought process is strong, Brian. And yeah, it took a bit for these things and the sponsor suggestion to "sink in" - I didn't ask my first one til day 97. I knew I was committed to AA and being sober but I waited and listened, started sharing in meetings maybe 30-45 days in (and I'm a talker but...)...and you are exactly right about your observation that there is a lot more to each step than we might think at first.
I'm still learning depths and nuances and...1206 days in
Keep going. You can do this.
I'm still learning depths and nuances and...1206 days in
Keep going. You can do this.
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