Sc0ot3r2019

So I've made it to day 8. this is my first day 8 in a very long time. It has not been easy at all as I'm sure everyone can attest to on this site. But it feels good to wake up with energy, have my coffee on the balcony and make it to work w/o worrying if i'm to drunk still to drive my car. On day 6 I came to a crossroads. It was 9 o'clock at night and all the sudden the urge hit. I got in my car and started to drive to the store. All the way arguing with myself in the mirror. I finally pulled into the parking lot and sat there. My AV told me, "you better get in there and get it before you change your mind." Dead set on getting my whiskey I got out of my car and went inside. the line was pretty long. so I went to the beer section and picked out my favorite beer to pair with the whiskey. I got back in line and stood there staring at the whiskey, mouth watering. Then I talked myself out of the beer and put it back. As I went to get back in line I stood there and felt the anxiety and fear starting to build. "This is not me, this is not right." I started to tell myself. As a tear started to form in my eye, all I could think about is getting home to my kids. I jumped out of line and rushed through the crowd of people there to get their drinks, practically pushing the door off it's hinges. I jumped in my car and raced to get home, tears starting to come down my face as I felt a since of relief. I ran up the stairs and immediately went to my son's room laid next to him and hugged him. I told him I loved him, he looked up at me and said, "I Love you 1000 dada." We fell asleep watching his favorite show.

Atlast9999

Abraham

Wow, that was an intense read for me. Good call. I went into the store me an my daughter usually stop at on the way home from me picking her up from school and they had my pint of rum sitting on the counter for me as usual. I said no I'm good.

Abraham

Take the challenge man. I'm looking at this like I'm gearing up for a long regatta(I race sailboats) or a marathon. Just like a challenge I can beat. Gear up and take it down. Your awesome.

nadt

Wow! Intense read! Thanks for sharing! Your resolve is amazing. You're awesome!!!

nadt

I like this way of looking at it!

Abraham

Yea, just like any other hobby or activity you get fired up about. I'm fired up to quit and I will. It will be fun to do so. And I will laugh all the way to the bank when its "over".

Abraham

Just now, I get to the store to get my daughter her snack and drink and normally my pint. this time the store was empty and I see the cashier ring up my pint and put it in the bag. Had to tell her I wasn't going to get one of those today. She un rang it and we were on our way.

Daytrippin

Thank you for this.

Kdon853

Dee74

I'm really glad you got though that Scottie
Congrats on day 8!

any ideas on what you might do next time the urge hits?

D

BrianK

Hey, he used that same line on me...I thought I was special!

Man, I hate that feeling when you've had some sober time and you're standing there waiting to ring up the booze! Even with no one else in line looking at me something tells me they're all saying, "Yeah, he's back at it again."

Thank you for sharing this! I'm off work tomorrow so this is sort of my "mini-Friday-night"...and we all know what we would normally do on Friday night! But you already played the scenario out for me.

Misssy2

That was AMAZING...I have never walked out or ran out of a liquor store..if I'm in there...I'm so done...

Your son is SO LUCKY that you did that..and doesn't even know it was mainly for "him"....

How sweet it is that you watched his favorite show and fell asleep.

Your story really touched me...thank you for sharing.

dpac414

Agree with Dee - what will you do next time?

It's really awesome that you made it out of the store without buying anything, and that you acknowledged your AV, didn't want to disappoint yourself, or throw away what you've done so far.

You just have to be careful. It's really hard to win against yourself, especially that part of the brain that was really good at convincing you to drink for however long. I'd say that part of you probably knows you best. I would try coming here to post before you even get in your car next time, just to be on the safe side. We'll all support you, and you'll save some gas. It's a win win

DriGuy

Wow is right. Before I quit, I would try not to drink, and then a 9:00PM craving would hit. I would drive to town and cruise the gut, driving this way and that past the bars fighting with myself, but never once did I pick up a bottle without paying for it and drinking it. I always caved, always. When I left the house, I knew I would cave too. Never the less, I carried on that mental battle and then finally gave it. In an odd way, buying and drinking the bottle was my reward for putting up such a good fight.

Then one night on the way home from my very first AA meeting, I drove past the bar and went home to bed. I never had another drink after that. Now the unanswered question still is, "Why?" Was it AA? I don't know. The timing of the two experiences does correlate perfectly, but that doesn't necessarily prove causation. It could be that I had finally reached a level of resolve that would push me to do two unthinkable things; Attend and AA meeting and drive past a bar. Could I have done it without AA? I'll never know. But it doesn't matter. It turned out I mostly enjoyed AA and I like driving past bars and walking past wine shelves at the grocery store. It still gives me a chuckle.

DriGuy

I just needed to add: Stay out of that store, Stay out of that store, Stay out of that store!

I remember some old timer at an AA meeting advising a struggling newbie who confessed to wanting to be with his drinking buddies down at one of the bars. He said with a great deal of emphasis, "Don't even go downtown. There's nothing happening downtown that you need to know about."

I still laugh when I think about that. I don't know why. I guess it's the way he said it.

nez

Thanks for your share. I love reading posts like this, very powerful.

You were up against it. You stayed strong and made a good choice. On the way home, you had tears running down your face and experienced relief, means you are following your heart. When you got home, you immediately hugged your son and told him you loved him, great reinforcement that you (1)made a good choice and (2) followed your heart. Just a perfect sequence of events. Great stuff!

There has never been a single time in my life that I regretted not drinking. There have been countless times in my life that I have regretted drinking.

Thanks for your share and goodatcha!

Sc0ot3r2019

Good morning all,

Thank you so much for your responses. Means a lot to see that story touched so many. I'm still going strong. Anxiety kinda got the best of me the last few days but i'm pushing through it. As far as a plan for next time, I stay away from certain streets, I put my keys under my sons pillow at night so I have to look him in the face before trying to go out, calling a sober friend to talk. Today is day 12 and i'm just happy to not be hungover and another day to be alive.

Scottie

Atlast9999