soupcon

This is a reflection on her, not you. I guarantee she is worried about her own drinking and wonders if she is an alcoholic. When I had been sober for a few years, my sister (who knew full well I was a recovering alcoholic) kept bugging me with details about my drinking habits when I was actively drinking four years prior. Finally I nipped the conversation in the bud by saying. "Are you worried about your own drinking?". She admitted she was which led to a discussion about her. She did quit drinking a few years later and has now been sober for many years,

DriGuy

Assumptions on my part:
Your sister enjoys drinking.
She enjoyed drinking with her sister.
She misses that old sister.

These assumptions would explain why she brought the subject up. She's not necessarily passing judgement, but just wants to know what happened to her sister. Wondering if it has something to do with alcoholism is a reasonable inquiry. It may have been a thoughtless question, without intending to be rude or critical. Her questioning may be have been an attempt to compare notes on questions that nag her about her own drinking, if only in some small way.

I enjoyed the part about going to the gym and taking care of your health. It's a good reason not to drink. I wish I would not have ignored that issue back then.

NerfThis

Thanks for all the awesome replies guys!

They've been here for a few days now and I personally don't think she drinks in an alcoholic manner. They do drink on every occasion, but I don't see the signs of alcoholism. That said, my mum did accuse her of being an alcoholic because she kept getting into drunken arguments with mum then 'forgetting' what she said. Her husband is quite a big drinker. He doesn't ever actually get drunk, but does consume more than her. I think being around him probably influences her to drink more.

She can't seem to get the complete 'no drinking' thing though. She was drinking a cocktail yesterday and said 'This is lovely! try it!' I said 'I don't drink' and she said 'You can still try it though!'

NerfThis

hopeful4: I'm UK born, but live in the USA. My sister is visiting us from the UK. I've actually had nobody here question my quitting. I somehow knew my sister would bring it up, haha.

Atlast9999: Actually, my sister is one of the people I spent a lot of sober time with. She's seen me drink, but we aren't siblings who would drink and get drunk together. I honestly think she simply can't understand people in general not drinking because alcohol is quite a large part of their lives through socializing, wine tastings etc.

biminiblue: 'ask me all the time why I don't have kids (SO inappropriate)'

Right! Imagine if we asked people why they DO have kids. There was speculation back in the UK that I was pregnant when I gave up drinking...

DriGuy: I don't think she misses her old drinking sister as we didn't really drink together anyway. It just seems she's awkward around non drinkers. Yesterday she was complaining about an employee who doesn't drink. Their company get drinks vouchers for a local bar, but the bar will only give out free drinks if they're alcoholic drinks (to entice people to stay and spend more later) Apparently a guy complained because he doesn't drink, therefore he has to pay 3.50 for a cola. Now he simply doesn't go out any more with them. I told her it seemed unfair and couldn't they all chip in to buy him a coke so he doesn't feel singled out and seeing as they are spending nothing on alcohol. She said 'No. That's his problem.'

SoberCAH

You handled it very well.

When I went through treatment and got out, it was generally understood by everyone who knew me that I was trying to get and stay sober.

I also never lose sight of the fact that my wife is the only relative of mine that I chose.

Incidentally, it can be threatening to people who drink a good bit when someone else who is a creditable drinker quits.

My alcoholic friends cut a wide path around me when I got sober.

NerfThis

Thanks SoberCAH. It's quite interesting that my drinking friends have stayed close regardless of my decision to quit. I think it might be because they simply never drank as much as I thought they did. When I was drinking, I just assumed everyone else was getting as wasted as me, but I think only one or two were (and one of those two gave up a few months before me)

Abraham

This was my first thought.

brighterday1234

NerfThis

I have told the two people I want to tell. My husband and a friend in the UK who thought she was struggling with drinking too. My sister is famous in the family for being a huge gossip and not someone you tell ANYTHING to, as five hundred people will know before the day is up. She is the absolute last person on the planet I'd tell, haha.