Day one again
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
yea, I'd pack up your stuff and your kids stuff and all move on out for the week or longer. See what he thinks then. Or send him this way. Maybe he will learn a thing or two. This is hard to read and goes beyond alcoholism. That aint right. Very frustrating to hear about. I hope you guys can chill and talk. You need a peaceful place without alcohol. I doubt I could quit if my wife drank, even if she did not offer me stuff. He should know better.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hootowl - I'm very glad you posted. I'm so sorry for the way you're being spoken to by your husband. Normal drinkers can't possibly understand what we go through. It isn't a matter of willpower - or controlling ourselves. I hope you'll continue to post - we understand what you're going through the way non-alcoholics can't.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Originally Posted by Hootowlhoot 
i think what happened was he got lenient on me drinking again. He would offer me a beer but we both know I can’t have just one so I’d ask for more and more . He gets mad the next day but then offers again and then he has been getting me wine too. I think he wants me to just be able to “drink normally” but obviously I can’t.
i have just been so depressed bc even when I am sober I feel like it doesn’t even matter ....
i have just been so depressed bc even when I am sober I feel like it doesn’t even matter ....
I understand this aspect all too well. My husband, and his family, are alcoholics. Not a single one of them understands why I quit. My husband has told me that I can drink in moderation if only I put my mind to it. He continues to drink around me. I’ve been offered drinks or asked to make his drinks (which I refuse to do). I’ve forced myself to detach from him. We are in marriage counseling right now and his drinking comes up every single session - but he still doesn’t get it. Just recently he told me how much more he liked me when I was drinking. I can also relate to feeling ashamed, embarrassed, regretful after drinking.
I had to get to the point where I quit for me. Not for anyone else. With this mindset, I have been sober for almost one year. I leave the room, the house, or even my town when it’s too much for me to bear.
I’m sorry your husband isn’t supportive and treats you unkindly. But you have the strength and power to save yourself.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
Originally Posted by Hootowlhoot
he wants me to go to the state I grew up in where my parents are. He thinks my whole family are losers and says I am trash just like them ...
If I were you, I would seriously consider going my own way. You don't need that. I would not leave the state, though, before talking to an attorney.
Whatever you do, don't drink. There's no situation so bad that alcohol can't make it worse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 119
Thank you for all of the support everyone. Today is day 3 sober. I know the best thing i can do is stay sober and be there for my daughter. I know there are more issues besides me drinking. I really appreciate the support and will start posting on here again
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