Blacked out again
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,059
So sorry your feeling awful. That self hate is horrific. Overthinking everything, searching for memories that just aren't there. Rumours of what you did and didn't do.
Try and be kind to yourself, stay in your bed if that helps for now. Avoid that first drink then you can begin recovery.
Take Care NTS
Try and be kind to yourself, stay in your bed if that helps for now. Avoid that first drink then you can begin recovery.
Take Care NTS
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I know how you feel, had my fair share of hiding under the duvet full of guilt and shame and feeling sick as a dog. Good news is you can change this and life doesn’t have to be this way, it’s absolutely possible for anyone! Bunker down today and take care of yourself, don’t beat yourself up about what’s done, tomorrow is a new day and you get to choose how that works out xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
Welcome, and I hope you'll stick around and join the conversation! Adding this forum to my recovery plan has helped me a lot! And there's lots of us in really early sobriety so we can still literally feel what you're talking about 
Allow yourself to heal.
Allow yourself to heal.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
Thank you for posting. The only part I sometimes romanticise drinking with is the social aspect. Going out with a couple of old friends on a Saturday. Its usually a fleeting thought, but I know my night would turn out like yours did, and possibly even worse. The good news is you dont have to feel that way. Sobriety is worth way more than just that first hour or so of the "fun" buzz of being drunk.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
The good news is you never have to experience this ever again. Simple- just don’t take the first drink and they’ll be no more blackouts.
Thanks for your your post and there is a solution. Keep reading, posting and learning but most importantly staying sober.
Thanks for your your post and there is a solution. Keep reading, posting and learning but most importantly staying sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 239
Oh, yes... the morning after self- hate... something most of us here are familiar with. Sorry that you're feeling badly. We seem to always tell ourselves that we're never doing it again. Then we do anyway unless we make a plan to truly stop.
Thank you for sharing. I hope you feel better.
Thank you for sharing. I hope you feel better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Needtostop,
Oh, how I remeber those days. YUK. The self-hate, anxiety over what I did and then the depression.
I am so glad I have been free from that crap for over 20 months.
Just think if you stop, and work on your recovery where you could be in a year? In 6 months?
For sure not where you are today and that is a blessing.
Have a good day,
DC
Oh, how I remeber those days. YUK. The self-hate, anxiety over what I did and then the depression.
I am so glad I have been free from that crap for over 20 months.
Just think if you stop, and work on your recovery where you could be in a year? In 6 months?
For sure not where you are today and that is a blessing.
Have a good day,
DC
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 132
I remember that self loathing. It really is a form of hell. I genuinely mean that. I think blackouts are a form of hell. I have no idea how I survived 20 years of them.
If you gave me a million euros to go back to those days I wouldnt take it. Im sorry you are in that awful place. I hope you find your way out soon before you have to live with many more of them.
If you gave me a million euros to go back to those days I wouldnt take it. Im sorry you are in that awful place. I hope you find your way out soon before you have to live with many more of them.
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