Abraham

I'm back again and just saying hi for now. I was on here posting a few years ago, although my posts have since seemed to disappear, as I stopped drinking for all of two weeks. That was my longest time going without drinking(my only time) in about 25 years. Probably have been drinking daily(just a few beers after work) since I was 18 or 20. I am 47 now and just last week I have got to the point where I was starting to drink at about 6 or 7 am. I have been laid off for 6 months and that does not help. I drink rum and was probably killing a pint before my daughter got home from school at 3:30 and then close or even more to another one after she got home. Did all I could do to maintain till my wife gets home and I can eat and go to bed. Not good, my eyes are always glassy, and just dont look good. I look like a drunk in other words. My 9 year old gets out of school in a few days and I stay home with her. I cant do this anymore. Not good(duh). After getting to about a fifth of rum a day I finally had a day where I did not plan ahead to make sure I had some left for the next day and finally told myself I was not going to go buy some. Now I made the decision to not drink hard liquor anymore and stick to beer. I know that aint the answer but I believe its a step in the right direction for now. ONLY drank 9 beers last night and I felt and feel way better already. I'm not big on beer so dont normally drink it as much. At least not as fast, I was puttting down 4-6 beers worth of rum in a half hour. A beer takes me at least that to drink normally. I know its not the end all way to go but for now it is my start. I am already to 11:30 and have not drank just because there is no rum available and I dont have the taste for beer this early. Anyway, you all are great people here and I just felt I'd say hi and get back into this. I dont find anyone saying they wish they were still drinking.

BrianK

Love this! I know most recovery plans suggest complete abstinence, but some people can go a little different route. What sticks out to me is that you recognize it's a problem and you want to do something about it. A lot of people go to their first AA meeting drunk and some can't get more than 24 hours sober, but they keep coming back. One lady tried to give back her 24 hour coin. They made her keep it and asked her to come back the next day for another one.

Something somewhere told you to switch to beer and kept you from picking up a drink so far today, and you're feeling better about it and yourself. I gotta say, for me anyways, I'll take any movement in the right direction I can get!

Welcome!!!

Abraham

yea abstinence is the plan shortly. I feel if I can at least get out of the habit of drinking rum out of the bottle and just having some beers it will put me in a better place to quit. This fifth a day has me walking around like a zombie floating in booze. I wont drink 20 beers but I will do 20 shots easy. Like I said (at least for now) I dont slam 4 beers in a half hr but will easily do a shot every 5 or ten minutes. At least this is metered out over a longer period of time. By this time most days I would have drank a pint of rum by now and instead its only about a quarter of a beer. Thanks for the reply and the welcome.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Abraham. I'm glad you are making the effort, but do know that the alcohol in beer is exactly the same ethanol found in booze, wine, and every other alcoholic drink. Sure its physically more difficult to consume as much alcohol via 20 beers than 20 shots, but it's defintely possible. I managed to destroy my life and health drinking beer exclusively.

"cutting back" or changing the type of drink you consume is a form of moderation - which we are incapable of as alcoholics. Yes, sometimes a taper schedule is recommended by a doctor - but it's extremely difficult to do and not often successful. Have you considered a supervised detox or inpatient stay at all? I know that sounds dramatic, but to be honest you are drinking an extreme amount by any measure - and sometimes extreme measures are needed. Please be safe and do stick around here, there is a ton of support available.

Rd2quit

Thank you for posting. Switching to beer was a certainly a step in my recovery process. As my drinking was getting worse I found my most regretful nights involved whiskey. So I made a rule for myself, no more whiskey, just beer. I had other rules as well, don't drink too much on week nights, spread out my beers and drink lots of water.

The issue was, I could stick to my rules. I would end up drinking too much on a weekday, someone would have a nice bottle of scotch, so I would suspend the no whiskey rule. I figured I just needed to try again. I tried and tried and tried, over 100 times, but I kept getting blackout drunk again.

on October 19th 2018 I tried a new strategy, total abstinence. It actually works for me. Not only that, I feel so much better and my life has improved.

However your beer only rule ends up working out, I truly hope it is benifits both yourself and your 9 year old daughter.

ImNotThatGuy

Nine beers sounds like a lot to me. I think you should abstain entirely. Is that on the road map?

nadt

Feel proud of yourself for a step in the right direction A. I drank very heavily as well. I found that I had to taper for a couple days before quitting completely as well.

I do encourage you to be careful though. I have started over many times and have taken advantage of the tapering in the past.

This time I gave myself just two days and drank a little less each day. Then stopped. It's hard! I tried to convince myself on my first sober day that I needed more time to taper and tried to talk myself into drinking. Because, let's be honest... withdrawal sucks... I'm still going through it now. You'll want to get through the worst of it before school is out.

Keep posting and stay strong. Everyone has a different story here, but I've found logging on and finding support from this group very helpful.

look forward to hearing from you.

Abraham

Not that I know it all but I do realize all the above. I know I could and may just start drinking a ton of beer or go back to rum. And yes, 10 beers is alot. But after drinking rum for 12 hrs a day for almost 7 months it felt like a good relief. That was yesterday, the first day out of this mess. Today is only day two and while I am at 2.5 beers so far I feel pretty good compared to the last 6 months. I would have easily been at a pint and a half of rum by now two days ago. Not as much anxiety, my eyes already look whiter. Hopefully it will just be a quick taper and be done with it although I know its not easy. I'm just trying to break out of that rut which I have begun to do and at least its back on my agenda. I know this forum is a good place to be and it definitely helps keep me motivated. Also, and I know this can change I was lucky the last time I maintained total abstinence for two weeks I really had no withdrawal symptoms or very mild, like a mild headache and some anxiety. Anxiety is actually an excuse I use to start drinking even as I know its drinking causing my anxiety. Thanks for the encouragement and I will quit for good very soon.

nadt

Way to stay focused, A! You really should feel good about how much you decreased already! And I'm glad you're feeling better.

I think that the way you're doing it is probably the safer way for you considering how much you were drinking (and I was drinking) sudden, complete abstinence could be dangerous without medical supervision.

it seems like you and I have been down a similar drinking path. Hope we can support each other as we work toward the same sobriety!

Feel good good about your taper. You've got this!

Hevyn

I'm glad to see you back with us, A. The support I found here gave me the courage to quit a 30 yr. drinking nightmare. You can do it too.

Misssy2

I think the fact that you are "thinking" hard about this..and you care about it...says alot..and I think you will get there....one of these days your going to be drinking the beer and decide it just isn't worth it....

And you can't do it for your daughter or your wife....you know that....it will be your decision in your time...I'm glad you stopped the rum.

Abraham

thanks nadt. I was over at you post today and noticed you had not posted. Keep on keeping on man. Your doing better than me but yea, I feel a whole hell of alot better already just today. Funny. You know you were drinking to much when 10 beers feels like a bread. Only had 4 today and will honestly probably have a couple more but I sure feel and look better in just two days. Its also honestly the least I have drank in probably over 20 years. I told my wife to get mad at me if she saw me drinking rum so today she went to the store and I left after her to get some pedilite that I heard about in adat's thread. She had got home right before I pulled up and I could tell she was mad. she said you went and got rum didnt you. I held up a bottle of pedilite and said hell no, I'm done with the rum. she was very happy. And yep, I'm doing it for myself. No one was even trying to get me to stop although I know my wife would love me to and I realize everyone will be better off. I'll be back checking out the forum after dinner.

Abraham

On second thought I'm going to stick to just the 4 beers. Its already almost 7 pm and whats a couple more beers going to do for me? Nothing positive.

CincyFin

I was drinking like you only vodka instead of rum. It put me in the ER.....doctor told me there really isn't a logical reason I didn't die other than it wasn't my time. Do whatever it takes. I am now experiencing a freedom I never thought possible.

lessgravity

A taper is a taper I guess. I'm not one for that concept unless it's medically necessary.

Sorry to hear you are where you are man. I've been there, many of us have. I'm also a father and I would give so much to have the early years of my son's life back so that I could be sober. That said, I'm sober now and plan on making up for it for the rest of our lives. You can do the same.

nadt

I'm here.... making it through day 5. Not feeling so great just yet. But still keeping on

we'll get there!

congrats on the cut down, and the pedialyte! I've been finding it hard to go to the store without my usual vodka purchase. So way to go,!

nadt

I accidentally posted that twice.

nadt

Hey, A. Just thought I'd check-in with you. I'm hoping to hear from you today. Wishing you the best

Abraham

Figured I would not post a ton at least on this thread only because I have not quit drinking and it sounds like it offends some folks. Maybe its just me. I did stick to only 4 beers yesterday and I did have some night sweats last night but not that bad. Funny cuz I am usually going to bed at 7 or 8 or even 6 lately cuz of being hammered. I go to sleep at 9 normally anyway for work but now I'm up till 1am cuz Im not passing out. I am feeling alot better and plan/hope to not drink at all today. I go to the dr in 4 days for blood pressure meds. Not sure how that will go if I am 3 days sober at the time. I do plan on telling her about it. Its actually part of the reason I am cutting back/quitting. I dont want to look like a total mess going to the dr for the first time in 4 years. Plus I have a traffic ticket court date tomorrow and did not want the judge questioning if I'm drunk or not. In my case I am probably drunk half the next day even if I'm not drinking. Which I would be anyway. Thanks a ton for the well wishes, it really does mean alot. Same back at you. This is really my first time trying to quit. I did quit for 2 weeks a couple years ago but it was because I was scared of violating my probation for drunk driving. Once I found out the routine I started drinking again. This time it is just because I want to. No outside pressure. I'm feeling good about it and if I drink a few beers I'm not going to beat myself up for it. As long as I dont get drunk. My plan it to not drink anything today. Its already better. By now I would have drank 1/2 or 3/4 of a pint of rum already and been floating in the booze. I honestly dont want that and I know for a fact I will never buy or drink hard liquor again. Nor do I plan on gorging on beer(or even drinking any). I know lots of people think its hogwash thinking I can or should even consider drinking a beer. But I know myself and know this may be 1 of a hundred tries but I kind of doubt it. I was/am worried about my organs. thought I had kidney pain but has since went away. The booze make one paranoid about health because you know you are not being healthy. Bottom line is I know for a fact if I kept on drinking like that, it would not end well. I dont want that so stopping drinking is the only other option. Live a ****** life looking and feeling like **** only to die early or live longer and happier. Its a stupid easy choice. Sorry long winded but I got alot on my mind and I type fast. lol

nadt

I like reading all the info...I wish I typed fast (I do on a computer, but I'm using a phone...so not so fast for me. Lol)

I'm glad your going to dr. That's something else I've been going through. I rescheduled several appointments before going and got sober a couple days before my bloodwork but only for one day. Then drank again....til my bloodwork came back. I've known for a long time I need to quit drinking, but seeing it on paper is hard...almost makes you want to drink to try not to worry! We can quit posting on this thread so it can disappear into the pages if you want. Besides. You can start a day 1 thread now if you decided to. Keep on keepin on!!
and thanks for your support!