Friend smokes weed daily but says she’s sober
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Abgator, I’m confused why you are directing the comment not to me but to someone else but thanks regardless. I guess “mind your own business” is kind of a variation on the theme of the good advice I’ve gotten to live and let live.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Thinks like that bothered me for a few years too.
Seen that 'someone is wrong on the internet' cartoon?
That was me only it extended into real life too and to things as well as people.
For me there was probably some ego involved as Nez suggests, but I really did genuinely worry about people and things. I wanted to help and to fix.
I look back now though and I see that someone/thing is wrong mindset was also an aid to drinking.
If something is always wrong, if I'm always upset over something, if I'm always working hard to fix unsolveable things and wearing myself down, it made it easier for me to make that decision to drink.
Once I realised that, I (gradually) gave up being General Manger of the Universe - which for me was good cos that was a lot of responsibility, lol.
I feel sorry for your friend, but it's not your burden to carry numblady
D
Seen that 'someone is wrong on the internet' cartoon?
That was me only it extended into real life too and to things as well as people.
For me there was probably some ego involved as Nez suggests, but I really did genuinely worry about people and things. I wanted to help and to fix.
I look back now though and I see that someone/thing is wrong mindset was also an aid to drinking.
If something is always wrong, if I'm always upset over something, if I'm always working hard to fix unsolveable things and wearing myself down, it made it easier for me to make that decision to drink.
Once I realised that, I (gradually) gave up being General Manger of the Universe - which for me was good cos that was a lot of responsibility, lol.
I feel sorry for your friend, but it's not your burden to carry numblady
D
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in sobriety is the only person’s words and actions I have control over are my own.
I tend to avoid situations where people are drinking heavily, or doing something I would rather not be around.
I have also ended some relationships with friends, and even family members who were toxic with their words or actions. This wasn’t easy, and sometimes they will still attempt to reach out (usually because they have some sort of problem) and I have given myself permission to not engage with them.
I tend to avoid situations where people are drinking heavily, or doing something I would rather not be around.
I have also ended some relationships with friends, and even family members who were toxic with their words or actions. This wasn’t easy, and sometimes they will still attempt to reach out (usually because they have some sort of problem) and I have given myself permission to not engage with them.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Shouldn't you be honest with your friend? Sober and stoned do not mean the same thing. Stoned is just as dangerous. We have increasing road fatalities and industrial accidents due to people under the influence of substances other that alcohol.
If someone states to me they are sober and get stoned, I am going to call them a liar. What they say is not true. It is harder to be honest, it may cost you a friend, at least in the short term, but I doubt if I would be alive today were it not for real friends willing to be honest with me.
What's the alternative - Live and let die?
If someone states to me they are sober and get stoned, I am going to call them a liar. What they say is not true. It is harder to be honest, it may cost you a friend, at least in the short term, but I doubt if I would be alive today were it not for real friends willing to be honest with me.
What's the alternative - Live and let die?
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 435
Originally Posted by Gottalife
Sober and stoned do not mean the same thing. Stoned is just as dangerous.
I'm not saying it's great, but it's a clear bias and false opinion to say it's just as dangerous as alcohol.
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