Moral Failing
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Maybe in EARLY recovery, sure.
I think the perception of judgement among us is stronger than the actual judgement. Again, my reaction has been almost overwhelmingly positive. It helps that it's past tense, I WAS an addict.
Sure people are in different situations where there may be more judgement and need for secrecy, particularly in certain jobs like law enforcement or primary school teaching, but I think to a large extent different people have different feelings about their recovery, and some are choosing guilt and shame. I loathe secrets, and also in my experience little good comes from keeping secrets unless absolutely necessary.
I think the perception of judgement among us is stronger than the actual judgement. Again, my reaction has been almost overwhelmingly positive. It helps that it's past tense, I WAS an addict.
Sure people are in different situations where there may be more judgement and need for secrecy, particularly in certain jobs like law enforcement or primary school teaching, but I think to a large extent different people have different feelings about their recovery, and some are choosing guilt and shame. I loathe secrets, and also in my experience little good comes from keeping secrets unless absolutely necessary.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I'm not really going to delve into the "secrecy" thing bc I think that's pretty untrue for more people than those who think it's so critical. My husband has a high profile job (one where, for example, he makes front page above the fold in the AJC)....and he had to "get over" the idea that everyone would...judge. Doesn't mean he broadcasts it, and in my public sphere I use the word "sober" not "alcoholic" to describe him, but HE had to realize that ego keeps a lot of folks living in semi-honesty even in recovery.
What I will add is that when I share, I'm doing so from the standpoint of 1204 days sober (I keep track every wk-ish and looked today
- and I sometimes talk about the process (I hope I do enough!)...and I def haven't forgotten the anxiety or apprehension that was a little part of me - HOWEVER. Again, circling back to what I always say about "picking my circle." MY sobriety is the most important thing, and while I did have that early anxiety in particular? I kept that circle very small. My public-ness didn't really start til about 14 mo when I did my first 1st person blog about being an alcoholic. Much of the rest has evolved greatly from there. I did share "passively" ie, it was clear I had been in a bad place and was now in (some kind of) recovery and, frankly, that's where the impact of my personal message hit home with so many people...
It's personal and - at the end of the day, whatever it takes to keep you sober, and working thru any "bad" feelings (caused by real stuff or just made up by us!!) is the thing to do to keep it moving.
Peace
What I will add is that when I share, I'm doing so from the standpoint of 1204 days sober (I keep track every wk-ish and looked today
- and I sometimes talk about the process (I hope I do enough!)...and I def haven't forgotten the anxiety or apprehension that was a little part of me - HOWEVER. Again, circling back to what I always say about "picking my circle." MY sobriety is the most important thing, and while I did have that early anxiety in particular? I kept that circle very small. My public-ness didn't really start til about 14 mo when I did my first 1st person blog about being an alcoholic. Much of the rest has evolved greatly from there. I did share "passively" ie, it was clear I had been in a bad place and was now in (some kind of) recovery and, frankly, that's where the impact of my personal message hit home with so many people...It's personal and - at the end of the day, whatever it takes to keep you sober, and working thru any "bad" feelings (caused by real stuff or just made up by us!!) is the thing to do to keep it moving.
Peace
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