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5 Days Sober and feeling a little better

Old 06-06-2019, 01:26 AM
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5 Days Sober and feeling a little better

I haven't been really active on this forum must at all. I had about 10 months of not going on a binge. Been focusing on working and working. Which was not the best thing to do because I didn't really put any effect in my sobriety. The only thing I really care about from those 10 months was making money. I would work wake up get ready for work and when I get off of work, I would do deliver food like UberEats and Grubhub. I would put in a little time at the gym and go home and sleep for 4 to 6 hours a night. I use to listen to those Talk Sober video once a week for a month or so then I stop with that and just went back to my normal political and money talk videos when at work and delivering food. I hardly talk at all and never confront my problems in life. I just push it back in my money and focus on money. I hated most people because I felt that they had their life in check and I was standing still.

Been going through this for the last 10 years, weird how time really fly by. I have 5 days of sobriety now. I'm feeling a little bit better today. What really hurts the most is my bloated from the crappy food I eat. I'm taking some meds that I got from the hospital to help me with my anxiety. The last few days which I don't have a job now is listening to some sober talk video, trying to rest which I can't getting any sleep and drive and deliver some food so I can get some income before I find a new job. Reflecting my life choose with alcohol is something I will need to deal with the rest of my life and I don't need alcohol or be around alcohol to have fun, or to avoid my problems. Need to learn how to deal with my anxiety, self angry and be happy for once. 3 months I will be 37 years old and I'm still stuck at a mindset of a 16 years old. This has to change because this will kill me if I don't.

Anyway, 5 days sober and thanks for reading my post. Will post in the next day or two.
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Old 06-06-2019, 01:57 AM
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It's interesting that you feel that you are stuck in the mindset of a sixteen year-old at times, because my ex-fiance told me something similar before I was asked to leave.

It is true that I think that when I got into drinking, I was acting incredibly immaturely at an age more advanced than where you are now. I want my relief, and I want it now is what I was shooting toward when I was drinking, and it was getting me nowhere faster all the time. I don't know if I'm any more mature now than what I was at the time she pointed it out to me, but I am trying to do real things to act that way.

I say act that way, because there are a number of things in my past that could have contributed to my being emotionally stuck in my life, but I'm doing the action part now as my focus and will try to figure out some of the other parts as I go. Right now it's working for me.

It is a good insight that I hope that you can carry further into your new pattern of not drinking and for feeling that you will be making further progress on your other problems.
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Old 06-06-2019, 02:44 AM
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Glad you are here WhyNot - and like Guener said, that's great insight. I think most of us have some arrested development tied to when we either started drinking or it was headed toward the worst...mine would be mid- late 20s and I quit at 39. The good news is that we can learn or relearn stuff we "missed."

Do you have a plan now? Sounds like implementing and keeping habits whether tapes or I'd say, more importantly, a program of action, could help sustain you so you don't slide away like you describe.

The Class of June thread is up here- good way to get to know peeps quitting now.
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Old 06-06-2019, 02:59 AM
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Day 3 for me, WhyNot, and I'll be 41 in a month. Sounds like we're in a similar place. Like you I was working long hours to bank money up to a couple years ago, and then something shifted in me emotionally and spiritually. An inner voice asked, "How much is enough, and how exactly will I know that?" Turns out that happens to some people as they approach midlife. We literally shift from needing Achievement to Purpose (from a book called The Shift). Not saying that's exactly your case - only you know you. But that's what came to my mind.

I spoiled myself with junk food the past couple days and had bad dreams last night. I'm resolved to get back to cleaner eating today as an investment in this whole new life. Good thoughts ---> good food ---> good sleep/dreams ---> wake up with better thoughts --->... Seems to work for me (as long as I stick to it )

Good luck!!!
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Old 06-06-2019, 06:22 AM
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5 days was really just getting over the misery of the detox for me.

I feel like we think a lot of depressing thoughts in our first days of recovery...everything comes flooding back to us.

You have to remember..it doesn't matter what you do for work..and that you ARE ENOUGH....our careers don't go to the grave with us...what people remember is what we contributed as a friend and family member and what type of person we were.

I don't want to be remembered as the "drunk"...which I will be anyway...but if I maintain staying sober I have so much more to offer the world...that I won't go out as just the "drunk".
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Old 06-06-2019, 04:23 PM
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Hi WhyNotNowMe

yeah keep ing busy can work for a while, but I always found it risky to wing my sobriety cos sooner or later, I'd have downtime or I'd injure myself and couldn't exercise, or an opportunity to drink came up, or I felt that internal pressure building and I'd only have one tool to deal with it....

The answer for me was to get more tools.

I recommend a recovery action plan
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

D
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Old 06-06-2019, 04:36 PM
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Day 5 is great. And, you're right, I think maturity stops when we start drinking heavily. I'm glad you're making the choice to live a sober life. You have years ahead of you to live the life you want and to be the person you want to be.
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