Drink? Err... no, I知 driving, I知 on meds, Err...?-Weekenders 07 - 10 June 2019 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 06-06-2019, 02:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Drink? Err... no, I知 driving, I知 on meds, Err...?-Weekenders 07 - 10 June 2019




Welcome to the Weekenders

What do you say when offered alcohol?
/][/url

I found It can be difficult to come up with an answer if you aren’t prepared. It could even lead to ‘just one drink’ and we know what happens then![/url


When I was newly sober and for quite a while longer, I realised, even with some family, I needed an answer when offered a drink. They thought (or didn’t, cos they were normal drinkers) having a glass of champagne to celebrate their anniversary, didn’t count!!
I knew I wasn’t going to drink it, but I was stumped for an answer! They wouldn’t take no for an answer!

I’m happy to say I’m now able to say ‘No Thank you’ without adding an explanation, unless I want to.

Being prepared for this, maybe one for the tool box, perhaps.

If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat, as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes.
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Old 06-06-2019, 02:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Thanks Mags

D
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Old 06-06-2019, 02:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
ours de petit cerveau
 
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I'm in.

thanks Mags.
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Old 06-06-2019, 02:25 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I don稚 know if it痴 a culture thing, but I知 OK to say I don稚 drink. For friends, I say I was drinking too much and started becoming dependent. Whilst my friends are surprised, no one has ever said have 屠ust the one or criticised my decision.

Plenty of people without a history of alcohol abuse have never drunk. They値l have no problem saying so.

But that痴 my opinion. If others need to use an 兎xcuse not to drink, that痴 great too. Anything to stop that 屠ust the one. Good luck everyone
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Old 06-06-2019, 03:23 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks, Mags.
I agree with the "no thank you" answer, followed by
"I don't drink" if the situation requires it.
If I am offered a cigarette or cigar, I'll say "I don't smoke".
Personally, I don't see much of a difference.
If the offeror(s) presses for an additional reason or excuse, too bad for them.

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Old 06-06-2019, 03:27 AM   #6 (permalink)
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At times I've said 'these sails can't hold such winds'
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Old 06-06-2019, 04:57 AM   #7 (permalink)
ours de petit cerveau
 
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rather bizarrely I got asked if I drank in the interview for my current job - I just said "No" and left it at that. I got the job, so presumably it didn't count against me too much.
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Old 06-06-2019, 05:03 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I just say "I'm not a drinker". Two for one that way: a non-negotiable no (so I don't get the "just one won't hurt" from who's asking, and also a personal affirmation of reinforcement. My identity now is more as a non-drinker than one who drinks.

Thanks for the thread Mags

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Old 06-06-2019, 05:07 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I just say im off it for health reasons. Most people are polite enough not to push me further and if they did I would smile sweetly at hem and ask them why they want to know.
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Old 06-06-2019, 05:15 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Having some time under my belt, it's easy to say I don't drink and no thank you. But at first it was cause for concern. My first encounter was to tell a couple of close co-workes that I quit and won't be drinking at the company christmas party. One actually laughed and didn't believe me. The other waited a bit and respectfully ask why I made that decision. My answer was "for health reasons" and he's never brought it up again. At the party, the first co-worker tried to preasure me several times. I actually had to raise my voice at the table to put a stop to it. In later weeks and months he'd ask me if I were 'drinking yet'.
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Old 06-06-2019, 05:55 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Thanks Mags

I'm in for the weekend.

Sometimes I tell the truth and don't hold back but to be honest it's not what I say to others that worries me it's what I say to myself.

It's being big enough to accept that every time I drank I ended up blacked out and oftentimes semi-conscious behind the wheel of a car...
Letting down the people who count.
This sickness is a family and community destroyer. As a weekender says its biological.

Had to beat off the AV with a stick again this morning but beat it off I did. Getting sick of these bouts of AV but staying sober...

Blaaaa bla blabber time over.
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Old 06-06-2019, 06:20 AM   #12 (permalink)
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In!! Good topic, Mags, thanks.

I致e been using the meds as an excuse for the time being and while it痴 true and my medication has been working really well since I gave it a chance to like, actually work, it痴 not the whole truth.

Only two people know my actual struggle - my oldest sister and closest friend. To my non close friends I致e used meds. To anyone else, no thank you.

It shouldn稚 be such a big deal if you don稚 want to drink yet for some it really is. Whatever. I guess all that matters is whatever response you give doesn稚 compromise sobriety. My business is my business.

In other news, I got the zoo promotion!! I知 starting training soon, although I知 pretty familiar with the job since I致e been helping out up there for a long time. So. Zoo this weekend, maybe watching some wrestling, gonna try to clean my house a touch, do a little exercise and call it a win.

Later, all. ✌️
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Old 06-06-2019, 06:23 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Vman.

"I've already drank my fair share."

Just a heads up, that one leads to laughter (which is probably why I like it) and then sometimes the questions. Meh, I don't really get into it with people anymore. It does depend on who it is as to how I handle it.

It's more about my own internal dialog and I don't have much of one anymore regarding why I don't drink. "No, thanks," is my standard answer. If people ask why I say, "I don't like it." Simple and no good argument against it. I don't lie, never have - but I don't tell all either. I don't use the word alcoholic anywhere but here.

I've said this many times on SR before, but my closest family didn't stop offering me a drink even years after I told them I was an alcoholic (in the 90s) and I refused a drink every single time in those years. With them sometimes I'd say, "No!" and then give them the Look.

In.

After I wake up.

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Old 06-06-2019, 06:45 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Thanks Mags.

It very rarely comes about as I don't socialise anymore but on rare occasions if I have to go somewhere I just say "no thanks" if asked why not I say "I like it too much".

I'm not shy in telling people my struggles with alcohol, in fact I am proud of how far I have come. I had to fight like hell to get sober ~ wheres the shame

Vman keep beating that pesky AV with the big stick. Mine comes and goes then comes again, relentless little beast!
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Old 06-06-2019, 06:54 AM   #15 (permalink)
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IN!

Thanks Mags!

Welcome to Weekenders Hodd!

These days I rarely get asked but early in recovery if anyone asked or if I felt that an explanation was called for would just say I liked it (booze) too much. I must say that I cannot recall anyone being negative. I never feel uncomfortable if someone does ask but I try not to make anyone else embarassed about their own drinking if I am somewhere where drinking is taking place - once a week usually in my case.
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Old 06-06-2019, 06:54 AM   #16 (permalink)
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dpac, Congratulations on the Zoo Promotion

Bim, I really like the kitten video ❤️.

Thinking about other people, some of my coworkers would致e been like yours, Andy. Pressing to drink and probably think I知 boring! I like my boring.

It is really warm outside, 18C but feels warmer than that.
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Old 06-06-2019, 06:57 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Oh yes, congratulations on the promotion dpac!
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Old 06-06-2019, 06:59 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Thanks for this! this time around ive tried to plan ahead had a situation come up the other day i had in my head what I was going to say & stuck to it
even when they kept pressuring me i would have caved the last go around this time nope not falling again
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Old 06-06-2019, 06:59 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Great topic, Mags.

Being only three weeks in, I still bump in to people who will say, "Let's go grab a beer." It's hard to say, "No thanks, I don't drink" in those situations so I've just been telling them that I'm on a health kick, trying to lose some weight. Once I even went to the bar (couldn't get out of it, really) and had a club soda using the same excuse.

I'm looking forward to the day when I have so much time that it's easy to just say, "No thanks" or "Club soda, please" without having to explain myself.
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Old 06-06-2019, 07:25 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I just tell people I'm an alcoholic if somebody is being insistent. I've found that trying to be coy usually results in people doubling down on their efforts to get you to have a drink.

The person will either make a positive comment or will get uncomfortable, likely questioning their own relationship with alcohol. Either way it gets people to not pressure me to drink.
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