theVman31

LOL : "over researched as usual, still got it wrong"
Sometimes you just can't beat the old stroke of luck element.. !
Time to attack the day

Mags1

I like the gate/barrier, Saou. It’s good to see the streets of London quiet, it seems almost impossible.

Kaily, it’s a shame your sofa isn’t comfy, it can be difficult to buy just the right one!

Canadian Koala

Have a good Saturday Weekenders! ☼

MantaLady

Morning Lovely Weekenders! Drizzly morning here and grey clouds rolling down the valley and hilltops, looks beautiful when you're all snug in the house looking out

Sorry but this is probably gonna be a long post haha!

Had an interesting few weeks which has tested how far I have come and changed as a person in the last year. I feel like I passed the test though and that is a really good feeling.

There was a situation at work where I was in a meeting with the boss and two others. He was angry about something else and took it out on me. He started raising his voice at me and being generally difficult and rude. Everyone else puts up with it but I am not everyone else lol. I let it slide for a while but had to set a boundary so eventually said "This is clearly getting fractous and it would be best if we took 5 mins time out and re-grouped when we were calmer". He flipped his lid, shouted even more and said "No I want to do this now!" to which I replied "I am sorry but I am not willing to continue this conversation till you have calmed down". It forced him to stop, we picked up the conversation about 30 minutes later and it all went fine. A year ago I would have taken him on right there in the room and probably mirrored his behaviour back at him. It would have been an almighty row and I probably would have told him to shove his job up his ar$e lol.

There have been a few situations like this, but I have been calm, fair, professional and rationale at all times. I have not let it upset me, tie me up in knots, or hold onto the negative feelings, I have let it go each time. Things have changed, he no longer speaks down to me, he no longer raises his voice, he listens to me now and actually asks for my opinion. I can tell this is challenging for him, I can see him feeling like he wants to be rude or shout, but he takes a deep breath and stops himself. Maybe when I get to my 6 month appraisal he will let me go as having to behave himself is too much like hard work haha but maybe he has learned to respect me...we will see!

Thanks for asking about my holiday plans Andy! I am going to spend the weekend cleaning the house and getting it spic and span, sorting my paperwork and doing the mundane stuff like my tax return, fill in forms for the re-mortgage on my house. This means from Monday I can have a week of doing fun stuff and having a proper relax It will be my 1 year sober birthday on Tuesday and I wanted to be by the sea on that day so I booked a lovely little B&B for two nights near an 8 mile beach walk. Had to do a lot of research to find one that long as there not that easy to find in the UK being a small island. It's about 5 hours drive from my house but really looking forward to it and hoping the weather will be kind to me

Anyhow, enough rambling from me and to close I just say "I don't drink" and that is it. If someone asks why I say I don't like alcohol. Nothing more xx

STDragon

Hi Manta.

You know, that company is darn lucky to have you. You bring way more value with you than they pay you for. Sounds like your bringing him around and I hope he soon begins to realize that. The stess level was a big factor in your decsion to take that job and you don't deserve to be treated that way.

STDragon

Hot and rainy today. If it starts pouring, I'll be sitting out on the porch enjoing the show.

ManInTheArena

Happy Saturday Morning weekenders!! Just a quick check in right now. Headed out to do a few things while it's still kind of cool here (AZ). Will check back in later

Mags1

Manta, what you said was brilliant...keeping calm and suggesting a break from the mayhem. If I was him I’d feel embarrassed that I had to be told that! He needs to reassess his management skills, just in my opinion...... Enjoy your holiday, there are some lovely beaches in U.K. for long walks taking in the lovely views.

Hi CK Hi MITA

Dragon, a good old downpour, great to watch, I agree.

biminiblue

A B&B by the sea and a year sober. You're doing it right, Manta. Are you taking your snorkeling gear and wetsuit?

STDragon

Just got back from shopping. Awhile ago I was listening to a gardening program on the raido and learned that BlackBerry bushed to well in my part of Manitoba. I really like BlackBerries so I've been keeping my eye out and today I found one! It's a scraggely little thing but if I learn how to look after it, maybe I can get it to flourish and reward me.

biminiblue

Oh, lord, be careful with those things. They will take over. They are a vine and they're invasive. Danger Will Robinson.

That said I love blackberries. Just, they are prolific and painful to keep in check. I don't think they need much care. Just put it outside someplace with a lot of sun where you don't mind losing the whole yard and it will do the rest. Your neighbors will hate that thing in a couple years when it takes over their yards too. They're like ivy with fruit and thorns.

Every bird in the neighborhood will plant more of them and before too long...I do love blackberries, though.

MantaLady

The B&B has a little indoor pool, not much more than a birdbath really lol but I get to have it all to myself! Gonna take my swimsuit and in the evening before bed will have a float around and take a Bluetooth speaker so I can put on some meditation music while I am doing it 😬 The Sea will be pretty cold so not going to be getting in that lol...brrr!

Thanks Dragon and Mags, he is a bit of a knob to be honest but as I only do 7 hours a day, the work is super easy and I have a 10 minute commute each way vs the 2 hours I did before I am able to deal better with “testing people situations”. I am kind of using this job to help me practice better behaviours and new techniques I have learned to live life on life’s terms, re-teach myself the value of money (as the pay is low), practicing having a life out of work also. I won’t be there forever but for a year or two while I get myself stronger and better at living a happier life. The more I practice good reactions and responses to life’s woes the more chance I have of it becoming a positive habit rather than something I have to work so hard at. x

PhoenixJ

good stuff manta

ManInTheArena

This is great stuff. I watched the Amy Winehouse documentary on Netflix a little while ago (it's not easy to watch, so maybe a trigger warning is appropriate). Towards the end, Tony Bennett says he wishes she could have just slowed down, "Life teaches you how to live it - if you live long enough." I thought that was a great line.

Hope everyone is have a good Saturday

mariposa

biminiblue

Back from a nice day at the City Center. Watched the kids play in the giant fountain, spent some time at a Native American Festival and came home. I almost stayed downtown and saw Rocketman, but another day. I think I will do it on a weekday early matinee. $22 or $11? Let's see, I'll take door #2.

Tonight I'll watch some more Designated Survivor even though they ticked me off in the last episode I watched. It's only TV, right? I get so involved!

Chili and cheese on a hot dog (whole wheat bun, so it's healthy, right?) with a side of green beans for dinner, and popcorn with the TV tonight.

All is well in my world.

STDragon

Thanks for the advice Bim. My neighbour has a Rasperry bush I've been beating back for years. Maybe I'll plant the blackberry on that side and start a counter invasion. lol. BTW, it's a thornless variety.

STDragon

Yay, I finally have a functioning bathroom sink! Now I'm busy cleaning up the disaster I created in the garage. Still lots of little details to finish up....

HideMe

Lately I've had to do more "NO I'm not pregnant, I just don't want a drink" than I'd care to do. (Seriously?!?!)

Went out to the bar with friends this past week and had no urge to drink and no questions asked. "I'm not drinking" or "it's not in the diet" seem to do just fine, strange how the whole truth just seems so taboo though...

WaterOx

Hey all just checking in at 6:30 on Saturday.

It's graduation week so all the "happy families" are gathered everywhere, having parties- most likely drinking I'm sure.

I try to be happy for them but the truth is that's tainted by jealousy. Not the end of the world. I'm a fairly happy person, after all- but somehow it kicks in a bit of FOMO.

Anyways, this too shall pass. All in all doing well...cept that the Warriors are hurting :/

Be well!