New Sponsor?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1
New Sponsor?
I am currently have 71 days and I've been with my sponsor since I first came into the rooms. She is someone who I met at my first meeting.
When I first came to AA I really wanted to ask my manager at my work (hair salon) to be my sponsor. I want what he has. He has been sober just about as long as I have been alive. He was the one I talked to before going to my first meeting. I hesitated and did not ask him to be my sponsor because I wasn't sure the boundaries or guide lines that came with having a sponsor.
I really want to switch sponsors and ask my manager to help me with the steps. Is this a conflict of interest at my job?
Please note that gender is not an issue in this situation. I understand that it is suggested to have a same sex sponsor. This does not apply to this situation.
Please help . Thank you!
When I first came to AA I really wanted to ask my manager at my work (hair salon) to be my sponsor. I want what he has. He has been sober just about as long as I have been alive. He was the one I talked to before going to my first meeting. I hesitated and did not ask him to be my sponsor because I wasn't sure the boundaries or guide lines that came with having a sponsor.
I really want to switch sponsors and ask my manager to help me with the steps. Is this a conflict of interest at my job?
Please note that gender is not an issue in this situation. I understand that it is suggested to have a same sex sponsor. This does not apply to this situation.
Please help . Thank you!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Switching sponsors can be just what we need. I thought thru my changes very carefully (and w spiritual seeking) and had solid reasons ea time.
I would NOT suggest mixing work and program. The program and steps, if done fully, are very intense. You are still newly sober and I am assuming to AA (you don't mention prior time in the program) and you haven't said if or how many steps you have started to work. I'd suggest you think carefully about how deeply you want a co-worker let alone a manager to know the most intimate things you will share in 4 and 5.
I'd consider myself fortunate to have someone at work in the program who indeed has what I want (I had one manager like this for the first year of sobriety and being back to work in a restaurant, it was even better!). Now I work for two people who are amazing mentors and inspirations. These kind of folks are better off as close program friends, for me.
I would NOT suggest mixing work and program. The program and steps, if done fully, are very intense. You are still newly sober and I am assuming to AA (you don't mention prior time in the program) and you haven't said if or how many steps you have started to work. I'd suggest you think carefully about how deeply you want a co-worker let alone a manager to know the most intimate things you will share in 4 and 5.
I'd consider myself fortunate to have someone at work in the program who indeed has what I want (I had one manager like this for the first year of sobriety and being back to work in a restaurant, it was even better!). Now I work for two people who are amazing mentors and inspirations. These kind of folks are better off as close program friends, for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
yes, that would be a conflict of interest for both you and your employer.
i can see only trouble coming from this.
how wonderful you have an employer who you can chat with about getting recovered while doing the stepwork with someone not related to your paycheque.
if you think you need a new sponsor, then sure, but that is an entirely separate question from the one regarding your employer.
i can see only trouble coming from this.
how wonderful you have an employer who you can chat with about getting recovered while doing the stepwork with someone not related to your paycheque.
if you think you need a new sponsor, then sure, but that is an entirely separate question from the one regarding your employer.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 6
What is the motive?
I wet through a number of sponsors in my younger years for the simple reason that i wanted someone i could manipulate and lay the blame onto. when i went through the steps i realized i also wanted to switch sponsors when i was getting uncomfortable and getting to close and it was me running. in my experience always check the motives...
I was always taught a sponsor is someone you use to get better and has done the 12 steps.
I wet through a number of sponsors in my younger years for the simple reason that i wanted someone i could manipulate and lay the blame onto. when i went through the steps i realized i also wanted to switch sponsors when i was getting uncomfortable and getting to close and it was me running. in my experience always check the motives...
I was always taught a sponsor is someone you use to get better and has done the 12 steps.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Me personally I am not using any of the sorts. No sponsor. AA . etc. However everyone is different as to what "works" in my case I come here a lot. I self meditate. By doing my daily readings. So I can pause and reflect.. I am going to court appointed counseling due to a DUI I received last year which my counselor really likes me because I share what I'm going through with all those newbies that just got their first DUI in my case it is not my first rodeo. I have a personal relationship with my higher power. I listen to AA recovery on you tube. Laugh out loud I put that on to go to sleep instead of music. I have a strong support group. My family. They are my rock.keep coming back.
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