DJ1

I just signed back in today looked at my first post 2009 wow 10 years I have been off & on the train I say i have to get it right this time!! But I'm at my breaking point binge drinking getting out of hand
i need to be accountable not just for a month but for the rest of my life so Im back 24 hours down !! Looking back at all the times i re started came to the conclusion I have to get help I can't do it by myself for life & change the people around me Ive always thought hey i can stop for a few months i can control my drinking but NO I cant I go back to it worse than before I am an alcoholic dependent on the **** so no more I can have a glass NO more

kk1k5x

What's the plan moving forward?

RDBplus3

Hello DJ1,
Sounds like you have made a good self-assessed conclusion.
That's good.
Now, can you keep clean and sober thru your resolve to do so?
Some can ... I tried and tried, with what I thought was strong resolve ... every time I came to that conclusion, and made that resolution.
For too many, many times, including Hospital & a couple rehabs.

Thru working the 12 Steps, and continuing to work the Steps (and apply the principles of the Steps program), I have now been FREE for quite a few years.
Thank God (sincerely)

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous, and FREE... and I Know U Can B 2

DJ1

I’ve booked an apt with my doc & looking into meetings but I need more than just my usual I can do it by myself

DJ1

[QUOTE=RDBplus3;7195781]Hello DJ1,
Sounds like you have made a good self-assessed conclusion.
That's good.
Now, can you keep clean and sober thru your resolve to do so?
Some can ... I tried and tried, with what I thought was strong resolve ... every time I came to that conclusion, and made that resolution.
For too many, many times, including Hospital & a couple rehabs.

Thru working the 12 Steps, and continuing to work the Steps (and apply the principles of the Steps program), I have now been FREE for quite a few years.
Thank God (sincerely)


RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous, and FREE... and I Know U Can B 2[/QUOTE

So happy for you ! Sounds like you Found the right fit I have tried AA before but I’m going to give it another go because my will is great for. A month or 2 then I fall off but I know I’m at the edge of if I keep going back my liver will pack up on me

ReadyAtLast

Hi and welcome back. Maybe join the class of june for a fresh start. Lots of support around SR

DJ1

Off to find class of June thank you

RDBplus3

How you doin DJ1?

That guy Will Power always let me down also..
My automatic-default driving lower-force feelings and drown-it-out behavior programming ALWAYS took over.

I finally had no choice but to completely surrender to the 'Higher Power' that is the guiding thread through the whole AA book and Program.

I had no more 'Will Power' to stay Clean & Sober than I had a 'choice' whether to drink or not. As the book says, I had lost the power of choice. Go to Book Study meetings if possible. Do a web search for on-line Recovery Speaker messages. Many (most) are free. Get a sponsor and read the AA book thoroughly, over and over. It REALLY does work ... I found that out after I had to completely GIVE UP trying to be in control. It seems the Program works BEST, not just when I work it, it seems to work BEST when you let the Program WORK YOU.

RDBplus3

Dee74

Welcome back DJ

I had a long history too - but things changed when I made recovery my priority - somewhere in that process today became the most important day for me

D

LiveLikeGold6

Alisha2928

Dont give up

BrianK

10 years ago was when I turned a corner, too. Had 90 days sober that time, which is the longest I've been sober in the past 20 years.

I know that anger at ourselves can be poisonous. I get angry at myself for a couple days, then level off, then feel like I "paid my dues" of self-loathing, the balance sheet is even, then comes that fateful "Well, it wasn't really that bad..." moment, which finds me back at the liquor store, and it feels like I got there on auto pilot.

I'm trying to look at myself more like a patient getting out of the hospital. I wouldn't be abusive and angry toward them, so I'll try not to be to me, either.

Best of luck to you, DJ (an all!)

DriGuy

Sometimes we deserve to get angry at ourselves, especially when we do really stupid things. This signals us it's time to do less stupid things, so use that anger to redirect your behavior. And then quit being angry at yourself.

August252015

Glad you are here now!

How are you today? Any meetings, June class etc?

Misssy2

Time does fly by...I wish you all the best in this effort to remain sober.

Dee74

Hows it going DJ?

D

DJ1

Hi for some reason I didn’t see any replies to my original message grrrr
Just wanted to check in & say Day 10 done still not sleeping much but I’m in the right path finally admitted a week ago to hubby & close friends what I’m going through & that I can’t drink again! They have been super supportive

It’s not easy but I have a clear path this time. I’m journaling have tasks every day changing all my habits come off SM. Just these boards which are a huge help
Any time I’m feeling low I pop right back on

Again thank you for all your support
I’m doing this day at a time but each day will mount up ❤️

Misssy2

I don't know you but I know plenty of alcoholics...including MYSELF....and I know that when "we" are willing to put it out there that there is a problem...that USUALLY means we are really serious about recovery and are ready for the ramifications of others holding us accountable.....

But we don't usually do this until and unless we are pretty SURE "we got this....this time"....

So you sound REALLY GOOD....and I wish you the best in your journey.

nadt

Congrats on your 10 days and your plan! Keep moving forward!

DJ1

thank you I dont want to tempt fate but for the first time I feel like I got this!! sharing with my husband who i have hidden bottles from for years & family friends

I have to keep on the right track