Day 150 and I'm healing...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Day 150 and I'm healing...
Well today is Day 150 and the verdict from the experts is that I'm gradually healing.
The waves of anxiety and paranoia are getting more manageable as and my mental health seems to be stabilising which is a great relief. The medication I'm on seems to be working at last and I'm still getting lots of help from my team.
I'm seeing a mental health nurse later this morning who I last saw several years ago when I was in a much worse state. I'm hoping she will notice the difference in me. It will certainly be good to see her.
Achieving balance in my life seems to be the key going forward. I'm learning that I don't have to pressure myself to be 'excellent' every day. Just making a fair hash of it (and of course staying sober) is sufficient for now. I realise though that I need to keep moving forward in my recovery and will still be setting myself progressive goals and challenges.
Emotionally though I'm fairly worn out. It has been a hell of a rollercoaster over the last few years - serious mental illness, the descent into alcoholism and eventually clawing my way back out of it - I still don't know quite how but I know it was extraordinarily hard work...
So what next? I'm tempted to get to a meeting if I can - it's been a while and it would be good to see some old faces if they're still around. Apart from this there's so much to do - new career opportunities, new relationships, repairing some of the damage done, etc. etc. It's frankly all quite daunting but I'm told that this is where the real work of recovery lies.
Anyway, thank you all for your help. SR has been my rock. Onwards one step at a time, always with gratitude...
Forwards.
The waves of anxiety and paranoia are getting more manageable as and my mental health seems to be stabilising which is a great relief. The medication I'm on seems to be working at last and I'm still getting lots of help from my team.
I'm seeing a mental health nurse later this morning who I last saw several years ago when I was in a much worse state. I'm hoping she will notice the difference in me. It will certainly be good to see her.
Achieving balance in my life seems to be the key going forward. I'm learning that I don't have to pressure myself to be 'excellent' every day. Just making a fair hash of it (and of course staying sober) is sufficient for now. I realise though that I need to keep moving forward in my recovery and will still be setting myself progressive goals and challenges.
Emotionally though I'm fairly worn out. It has been a hell of a rollercoaster over the last few years - serious mental illness, the descent into alcoholism and eventually clawing my way back out of it - I still don't know quite how but I know it was extraordinarily hard work...
So what next? I'm tempted to get to a meeting if I can - it's been a while and it would be good to see some old faces if they're still around. Apart from this there's so much to do - new career opportunities, new relationships, repairing some of the damage done, etc. etc. It's frankly all quite daunting but I'm told that this is where the real work of recovery lies.
Anyway, thank you all for your help. SR has been my rock. Onwards one step at a time, always with gratitude...
Forwards.
Best of luck and strength to you as you tackle what lies ahead.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Congratulations 🎉 I’m hoping to find a good doctor to help me. I’ve experienced abuse, abandonment and have PTSD, anxiety and depression. There’s so much inner work for me to do that at 57 days sober I’m worried if starting the work on my inner issues will lead me back to drinking. One thought I’ve had is that by drinking I’m allowing the cycle of abuse to myself to continue. The people who hurt me in this life win when I drink. I hope to one day move past it, put it in a better perspective. Thank you for sharing, shows me there is hope.
And thanks for an inspiring message. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
Forwards, you and I are sobriety date twins! lol
It is fantastic that you feel so much better. It sounds like you have had a lot to overcome and it is wonderful that you are looking after yourself.
I can completely relate to trying to find balance. I want to be this extremely healthy person who isn't anxious, exercises all the time, sleeps 8 hours a night and never eats dessert, but I fluctuate wildly between that person and a person who is overwhelmed with stress, works instead of sleeps and eats pizza or chinese every night. I'm working on finding a middle ground, but I'm grateful that sober has become my new normal.
Keep going, we can do this. Love to you.
It is fantastic that you feel so much better. It sounds like you have had a lot to overcome and it is wonderful that you are looking after yourself.
I can completely relate to trying to find balance. I want to be this extremely healthy person who isn't anxious, exercises all the time, sleeps 8 hours a night and never eats dessert, but I fluctuate wildly between that person and a person who is overwhelmed with stress, works instead of sleeps and eats pizza or chinese every night. I'm working on finding a middle ground, but I'm grateful that sober has become my new normal.
Keep going, we can do this. Love to you.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
So glad to hear this Forwards! i can relate to a lot of what you describe in your journey, and indeed found that moving into the "100s" saw a lot of forward progress for me overall. Still early and lots to heal but you are doing the right things.
A meeting's never a bad idea
A meeting's never a bad idea
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Thank you all for the kind and interesting replies.
The meeting with my former community nurse went well - she was delighted to see me well. I'm very aware that there is still a great deal of recovery work still to be done though.
Anyway, tonight I'm having a meal with my visiting relatives. How nice to look forward to it sober.
Thanks again, Forwards.
The meeting with my former community nurse went well - she was delighted to see me well. I'm very aware that there is still a great deal of recovery work still to be done though.
Anyway, tonight I'm having a meal with my visiting relatives. How nice to look forward to it sober.
Thanks again, Forwards.
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