Pippo

I'm scared.

I can't. I shan't. Go back in time.

If someone offered me a time machine to go back, coupled with a billion dollars. I'd still decline.

I'd rather not live at all, than live like that.

I get chills just thinking about it.

Your support means a lot to me!

Dee74

If you keep making the right choices there's no way you'll go back Pippo

D

brighterday1234

Pippo

I have no clue how I've reached this point in my sobriety where being sane is more important to me than taking the edge off, but I'm here- somehow. I've had shorter spells before, but the pros of drinking always seemed to eventually outweigh the cons in the end.

My life didn't evolve into a fairytale the day I quit drinking. But that's okay. Rome was not built in a day.

Grateful. So very grateful. I'm free.

Happy to be a part of this community, and now posting regularly as I feel it helps me greatly!

Thanks for talking with me, it means a lot.

Pippo

I have no experience with recovery programs, but in my view, they are some of the most noble organizations in the world- helping countless individuals reclaim their lives, one step at a time, for free no less. Incredible.

It's very hard for me to open up about my alcoholism to my own family members, let alone a group of strangers. Which is why I never pursued that route. I guess I am just wired to be reserved, especially given the sensitivity of this subject.

I'm doing the best I can to tackle this enigma in my life, without causing much of a drama. But I do acknowledge that this could backfire as well. Having someone to talk to is very important. Sharing my thoughts on SR helps me quite a bit. Maybe as I progress in my recovery, I'll become more vocal about my journey on other platforms as well. It's certainly on the cards.

Thanks for your time!

Hodd

brighterday1234

D122y

The damage I did to my brain and body is deep and in part irreversible.

Things didn't seem to get better as much as I got used to them.

I still have many of the same issues as when i was a fat stinking drunk, I have adjusted how I handle them.

In some cases, I have decided to not even try. Folks know the old me and I can't expect them to suddenly give me a different level of respect.

I suffer in silence alot. But, talking about it here is my only real outlet. Folks that haven't admitted they have a drinking problem (I now believe even a few drinks a week is going to lead to problems) refuse to relate to me. When I was an active addict I made any and all excuses to drink.

If i was still drinking j would be sitting here drunk right now. I would probably weigh around 240 and my BP would be around 200/100.

Instead, I am fresh out of the shower after some nice cardio. I went to see an awesome rock show last night and enjoyed homemade chili mack all weekend.

Thank God for SR and all of you.

Thanks for the therapy.

Anna

Pippo, you never have to back. You are making the choice every day to live a sober life and it sounds like you're doing great.

We are always here for you.

Pippo

I could not agree more with this.

The issues in my life have also largely remained the same. Sober or otherwise.

There hasn't been much of a change in certain people's behaviors (in many cases, hostility) towards me. But I've accepted that I have no control over that.

There is little to no recognition that an effort (in the form of quitting a major addiction) has been made on my part in order to improve the relationship.

Said people have just picked up other sticks to try and bring me down now. Some sticks valid, some imaginary and superfluous.

Like you, I've given up seeking their approval anymore. As futile as milking a dead cow.

Cheers!

Pippo

Thanks, Anna! Your kind words mean a lot to me.

Yes, it's true. I am doing great as far as my sobriety is concerned. It's one of the most significant aspects in my life, especially in these early stages which is definitely uncharted territory.

Hawkeye13

Just keep doing the next right thing--you living well and thriving will not only feel good in the moment, but people will literally run out of "ammunition" over time and change their attitude as the sober days / weeks / months pass.

tomsteve

some fears are healthy fears.
i remember a lot of my past. i put in a lot of footwork to get away from who and what i was and with one sip of alcohol my past WILL become my future-only worse.
thats a healthy fear-one that doesnt control me,though, because i have the power of choice of whether or not that happens.

FreeOwl

GREAT NEWS!!!!

You don't have to go back in time....

There is no need, nor pressure....

You are FREE to Be - present and clear.... right now, right here.

In sobriety.

Pippo

I'll make mistakes in my future, everyone will.

One mistake I won't make again, however, is have another sip. That chapter of my life is over.

Death before slavery to the bottle.

Pippo

Thanks for the encouragement, Hawkeye!

I know I've talked about other people quite a bit.

But obviously I am aware that this is my sobriety, my journey, my health and my sanity.

My end goal has never been to clear out the arsenal of my naysayers. In fact, that's not why I've quit drinking at all. I valued the pleasure of alcohol far more than others' opinions. Maybe I still would, if I had to choose between the two.

I got sober because I wanted me back. That's all.

Thanks for your time!

Pippo

Thank you, FreeOwl.

Here's to good, sober times ahead!