Milestones
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Milestones
It’s been 4 years today since I last had a drink. Feeling kind of proud of that.
These last 4 years have been brilliant. I don’t know how much is down to not drinking, but I’m aware of how much has changed for the better since then. Among other things I went back to university, started a new career as a counsellor, learned to play a new instrument and joined a band, I’ve got back into playing sport, and I’ve got back into photography again. I don’t see as much of the people I used to go drinking with, which is a shame, but I’ve made lots of new close friends from what I’ve been doing instead.
So much for giving up alcohol being a sacrifice that guarantees a sad and boring life.
I also want to address one thing I kept hearing over and over again when I quit. “But you’re not an alcoholic?” That really, really bothered me.
For some reason, alcohol is the only mind altering substance that many people feel you have to justify NOT using. It’s like you’re only allowed to quit if you’re an alcoholic.
I disagree with that. For one thing, there’s a lot of confusion about what that word even means. There’s almost always someone who drinks more than you, who’s worse off than you, who you could point to and say “that’s what an alcoholic looks like, and that isn’t me”. I know that, because that’s what I used to do. I’d look at all the boxes I wasn’t ticking, and ignore the ones I was.
Then I decided I didn’t have to be slumped on a bench smelling like a urinal with a can of cider in my hand before I could quit. I knew alcohol had been too big a part of my life and I wanted that to change.
I would encourage anyone who might be looking on here and wondering if their life might be better without alcohol to not worry about labels and simply give it a go. This is a brilliant forum for support, and there are links to all kinds of different approaches from AA to SMART recovery, to AVRT. There are also tons of books out there, like Allen Carr’s How to Control Your Drinking (which I found really helpful). And I personally think counselling is helpful to go alongside whatever approach you choose to take. I believe there’s a reason why we do the things we do, and they’re often very difficult to spot and work on without help.
The bottom line is giving up drinking was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I remember coming on here 4 years ago and writing the words “I do not drink, and I will never drink again”.
It means a lot to me to be able to say those words again now. I do not drink. And I will never drink again.
These last 4 years have been brilliant. I don’t know how much is down to not drinking, but I’m aware of how much has changed for the better since then. Among other things I went back to university, started a new career as a counsellor, learned to play a new instrument and joined a band, I’ve got back into playing sport, and I’ve got back into photography again. I don’t see as much of the people I used to go drinking with, which is a shame, but I’ve made lots of new close friends from what I’ve been doing instead.
So much for giving up alcohol being a sacrifice that guarantees a sad and boring life.
I also want to address one thing I kept hearing over and over again when I quit. “But you’re not an alcoholic?” That really, really bothered me.
For some reason, alcohol is the only mind altering substance that many people feel you have to justify NOT using. It’s like you’re only allowed to quit if you’re an alcoholic.
I disagree with that. For one thing, there’s a lot of confusion about what that word even means. There’s almost always someone who drinks more than you, who’s worse off than you, who you could point to and say “that’s what an alcoholic looks like, and that isn’t me”. I know that, because that’s what I used to do. I’d look at all the boxes I wasn’t ticking, and ignore the ones I was.
Then I decided I didn’t have to be slumped on a bench smelling like a urinal with a can of cider in my hand before I could quit. I knew alcohol had been too big a part of my life and I wanted that to change.
I would encourage anyone who might be looking on here and wondering if their life might be better without alcohol to not worry about labels and simply give it a go. This is a brilliant forum for support, and there are links to all kinds of different approaches from AA to SMART recovery, to AVRT. There are also tons of books out there, like Allen Carr’s How to Control Your Drinking (which I found really helpful). And I personally think counselling is helpful to go alongside whatever approach you choose to take. I believe there’s a reason why we do the things we do, and they’re often very difficult to spot and work on without help.
The bottom line is giving up drinking was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I remember coming on here 4 years ago and writing the words “I do not drink, and I will never drink again”.
It means a lot to me to be able to say those words again now. I do not drink. And I will never drink again.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Congratulations on 4 years!!
I’d look at all the boxes I wasn’t ticking, and ignore the ones I was.
I did that for along time. I justified my drinking by telling myself I wasn't *that* bad, and that all my friends drank the same way I did, or worse. It finally got to a point where I couldn't ignore the boxes I was ticking. And I was ticking more and more as time went on. I remember wondering early on if I'm actually an alcoholic. I had people telling me straight up that I certainly didn't seem like one. Because I, and they, had some kind of pre-conceived notion of what an alcoholic looks like and acts like. When I got to treatment and AA, I saw that most people there were more like me than they were different. And I stopped caring about the labels. I drank too much, it was ruining my life, and I didn't want to go any farther down that road, "alcoholic" or not.
I’d look at all the boxes I wasn’t ticking, and ignore the ones I was.
I did that for along time. I justified my drinking by telling myself I wasn't *that* bad, and that all my friends drank the same way I did, or worse. It finally got to a point where I couldn't ignore the boxes I was ticking. And I was ticking more and more as time went on. I remember wondering early on if I'm actually an alcoholic. I had people telling me straight up that I certainly didn't seem like one. Because I, and they, had some kind of pre-conceived notion of what an alcoholic looks like and acts like. When I got to treatment and AA, I saw that most people there were more like me than they were different. And I stopped caring about the labels. I drank too much, it was ruining my life, and I didn't want to go any farther down that road, "alcoholic" or not.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,929
A joy to read that post 😀 Brilliant stuff.
Must have been a few temptations in the early days? I’m at 142 days and am a superman compared to the overweight heavy drinker I was up until 16 months ago.
Twio nights ago, I went running with a triathlon team and had no trouble keeping up. In fact, I was fitter than some of them! I have to pinch myself at times and wonder when my large former self will turn up
Must have been a few temptations in the early days? I’m at 142 days and am a superman compared to the overweight heavy drinker I was up until 16 months ago.
Twio nights ago, I went running with a triathlon team and had no trouble keeping up. In fact, I was fitter than some of them! I have to pinch myself at times and wonder when my large former self will turn up
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Congrats on your life! Brilliant post!
I'm also a huge proponent of therapy along with whatever else I did to have a sober life rather than an abstinent one. Two years in, I'm partway to where you are.
Thanks for articulating what I'm working towards.
I'm also a huge proponent of therapy along with whatever else I did to have a sober life rather than an abstinent one. Two years in, I'm partway to where you are.
Thanks for articulating what I'm working towards.
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