What's The Point
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Are you drinking today?
I mean, we all are failures at something.
You are more than your worst failure and you are less than your greatest success.
So it is and always shall be.
Nobody gets out of this life with 0 in the Lose Column.
More Wins happen sober, I can guarantee that.
I mean, we all are failures at something.
You are more than your worst failure and you are less than your greatest success.
So it is and always shall be.
Nobody gets out of this life with 0 in the Lose Column.
More Wins happen sober, I can guarantee that.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Why Stay sober?
I stay sober so I can be a good mother, drive at any time of the day, save money (pay off debt faster), to work out, to not consume empty calories, to live the best life I am able, to learn lessons without drowning in my sorrow, to grow, to leave an impression on those I surround myself with either on line or in person, to share my story to help others, to get out of depression much faster, to NOT live in anxiety, to be healthy, to be able to put my son in sports, to be able to go on dates and not look a fool, to be able to love myself, to love others, to grow within my career, to upgrade my life (how I see fit), etc.. The list is endless as to WHY I sat sober.
Blessings,
DC
I stay sober so I can be a good mother, drive at any time of the day, save money (pay off debt faster), to work out, to not consume empty calories, to live the best life I am able, to learn lessons without drowning in my sorrow, to grow, to leave an impression on those I surround myself with either on line or in person, to share my story to help others, to get out of depression much faster, to NOT live in anxiety, to be healthy, to be able to put my son in sports, to be able to go on dates and not look a fool, to be able to love myself, to love others, to grow within my career, to upgrade my life (how I see fit), etc.. The list is endless as to WHY I sat sober.
Blessings,
DC
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Why stay sober?
Because the world is beautiful twice as much as it sucks.
Only through sobriety can we come to know that when alcohol and addiction have snared us in the land of 'the world sucks'.
You're a failed day trader? GOOD. Day Trading is a horrible, stressful, challenging line of work that can leave a person in ruins.
You're a failed engineer? GOOD. Cross that off the list of things you need to worry about being a wild success at.
You're back to doing a job you hate because you have to make money or die? GOOD!! Join the club. That's the story of life these days - but we can transcend those feelings and those stories by doing what we have to while we have to so we can learn and grow and get to where we want to once we know what we want to.....
Listen: it's not easy. Life's not easy. But it gets better, and toughing out the rough spots, holding onto sobriety, is how we get to the most beautiful spots.
You can.
Because the world is beautiful twice as much as it sucks.
Only through sobriety can we come to know that when alcohol and addiction have snared us in the land of 'the world sucks'.
You're a failed day trader? GOOD. Day Trading is a horrible, stressful, challenging line of work that can leave a person in ruins.
You're a failed engineer? GOOD. Cross that off the list of things you need to worry about being a wild success at.
You're back to doing a job you hate because you have to make money or die? GOOD!! Join the club. That's the story of life these days - but we can transcend those feelings and those stories by doing what we have to while we have to so we can learn and grow and get to where we want to once we know what we want to.....
Listen: it's not easy. Life's not easy. But it gets better, and toughing out the rough spots, holding onto sobriety, is how we get to the most beautiful spots.
You can.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
I'd question whether your statements are true. In the case of engineering, the occupation is so broad that there are many different types of jobs you could get in the engineering field. Do you feel that you want out of that occupation?
Yes, you do need a job to earn money, but hopefully you can find something that brings you some satisfaction. Above all, stay sober.
Yes, you do need a job to earn money, but hopefully you can find something that brings you some satisfaction. Above all, stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
I'm really sorry you're feeling so hopeless.
But listen, you won't be able to successfully change your situation if you start drinking again. I'm in a job I hate too, to be honest. I went to college and got a useless degree with a ton of debt and I'm working 3 jobs currently to try and make ends meet, so I get it. But drinking won't do anything to help you; it will only hinder you and keep you stuck in this situation.
Let yourself get some sober time. Do things in your spare time that make you happy in spite of your job. Then when you feel it's time, you can start looking for opportunities with a clear head.
Please don't start drinking again. Things can get better. Are you able to see a therapist? I always find that talking to an unbiased 3rd party can really help.
But listen, you won't be able to successfully change your situation if you start drinking again. I'm in a job I hate too, to be honest. I went to college and got a useless degree with a ton of debt and I'm working 3 jobs currently to try and make ends meet, so I get it. But drinking won't do anything to help you; it will only hinder you and keep you stuck in this situation.
Let yourself get some sober time. Do things in your spare time that make you happy in spite of your job. Then when you feel it's time, you can start looking for opportunities with a clear head.
Please don't start drinking again. Things can get better. Are you able to see a therapist? I always find that talking to an unbiased 3rd party can really help.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,199
I'm sorry you're feeling low right now TWTOM. I'm a failed engineer too as well as a failed husband and father. Drinking did not make those facts any easier to live with. Your addicts voice (AV) will often deploy the "what's the point?" argument but what it doesn't point out is that come tomorrow you will still be in that same job only with a hangover, less money and damaged insides.
You have a much better chance of changing things for the better if you stay of the poison than if you just carry on drinking. You can do it!
You have a much better chance of changing things for the better if you stay of the poison than if you just carry on drinking. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
When I first sobered up I wondered what the point is... I had no idea what the point is, all I knew was that my point wasn't it... and I knew that the only way I could potentially find out what the point is, was by being sober because I obviously didn't come anywhere close to finding out what the point is, while drinking.
In sobriety, I am slowly learning what the point is. What I have learned thus far is worth the work involved. I am looking forward to learning more. The more I learn, the more I experience serenity. For me it has been worth it.
In sobriety, I am slowly learning what the point is. What I have learned thus far is worth the work involved. I am looking forward to learning more. The more I learn, the more I experience serenity. For me it has been worth it.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Early in my sobriety I had the same thoughts sometimes. So I get it. I felt like a failure at so many things. But I decided sobriety was something I could succeed at. And intellectually, I knew that staying sober would help me succeed at things in the future. I didn't always emotionally feel like that, I had some really dark days. But my brain told me I was on the right track, so I should keep going. I looked at other people who had "failed" at things in life, like I had, and they were sober and succeeding at all sorts of new things. A lot of which were better for them anyway - like new jobs, different relationships, new hobbies and activities. Some of these people had literally lost EVERYTHING and were gaining their lives back, even better than before.
What do you have to lose by giving sobriety a real chance? Is drinking really that great of a thing that you want to go back to it, thereby giving yourself even less of a chance in the future? I think you logically know the answer to that. I understand it's hard sometimes. It does get easier.
And ditto the person who asked if you could possibly get some therapy? Perhaps there's underlying depression you should address.
What do you have to lose by giving sobriety a real chance? Is drinking really that great of a thing that you want to go back to it, thereby giving yourself even less of a chance in the future? I think you logically know the answer to that. I understand it's hard sometimes. It does get easier.
And ditto the person who asked if you could possibly get some therapy? Perhaps there's underlying depression you should address.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 600
Firstly, stay sober so you don’t die an eventual, premature, horrible death from liver disease. Stay sober so you don’t stumble through life drunk & sedated, ending each day passing out in a rem deprived sleep, waking up with a hangover & the shakes which will only be relieved with a drink so you can do the same day all over again. Please DON’T DRINK.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
Originally Posted by Tailai 
Firstly, stay sober so you don’t die an eventual, premature, horrible death from liver disease. Stay sober so you don’t stumble through life drunk & sedated, ending each day passing out in a rem deprived sleep, waking up with a hangover & the shakes which will only be relieved with a drink so you can do the same day all over again. Please DON’T DRINK.
People say it’s their choice, but doctors tell of patients begging for help when years of alcohol have riddled them with cancer or liver disease. They’ve lost the choice regrettably. Why run the risk of losing the choice too?
I’m an engineer too. I hate my purposeless job, but I love my life now. I can’t believe I drank for so long and risked so much.
Good luck and give yourself the ability to choose.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,645
Nope. I didnt drink today.
Just working my HVAC install job, which is respectable. But I have my Masters in mechanical engineering and I'm working this job because I'm too damn stupid / worthless to get an engineering job.
Just working my HVAC install job, which is respectable. But I have my Masters in mechanical engineering and I'm working this job because I'm too damn stupid / worthless to get an engineering job.
Down on your luck maybe but you still have worth. Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
I highly doubt you're too stupid to get an engineering job, especially if you had the fortitude to get a masters in engineering. However, no one can make you believe that except yourself.
I've given this advice a few times on here I think, but this always works for me when I'm having a depressive episode or extended period of depression. It's like urge surfing. You allow yourself to feel the emotion, but it's just there, like a bag of garbage sitting by the door that you can't take out for whatever reason. You know it's there, and maybe there's some rotten food in there that you can kinda smell, but the rest of your house is okay and you'll take out the garbage the next change you get, but you just can't right now for whatever reason.
I dunno. Talking helps. Keep posting. You're not worthless and I think you're doing great.
I've given this advice a few times on here I think, but this always works for me when I'm having a depressive episode or extended period of depression. It's like urge surfing. You allow yourself to feel the emotion, but it's just there, like a bag of garbage sitting by the door that you can't take out for whatever reason. You know it's there, and maybe there's some rotten food in there that you can kinda smell, but the rest of your house is okay and you'll take out the garbage the next change you get, but you just can't right now for whatever reason.
I dunno. Talking helps. Keep posting. You're not worthless and I think you're doing great.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
Originally Posted by ThatWasTheOldMe
Nope. I didnt drink today.
Just working my HVAC install job, which is respectable. But I have my Masters in mechanical engineering and I'm working this job because I'm too damn stupid / worthless to get an engineering job.
Just working my HVAC install job, which is respectable. But I have my Masters in mechanical engineering and I'm working this job because I'm too damn stupid / worthless to get an engineering job.
But as said above, you’ve done a masters (well done, not easy) in mech eng so have a lot to offer, more than most.
As I said, don’t give yourself no choice. My job sucks, although it’s better now that I’m not an alcoholic, but my life is way better now I don’t drink.
It will get better.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,199
If you possess a Masters in Mechanical Engineering then i'm sure you could find something TWTOM, as Hodd said there is a shortage of engineers (a global shortage) It might be you have to look farther afield. I got made redundant along with 20 or so others in the late 1990s and was told "Britain is a service economy and no longer needs engineers" Short sighted or what? I sort of fell in to engineering related sales as a consequence. It was not a factor in my drinking.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
Hi TWTOM
I'm sorry you feel low today but I think it's important to remember this is not the best it's gonna get.
You have a degree and I'd keep looking for jobs using that degree- yo'll never get one if you stop looking
'whats the point' thinking is a hold over from your addiction - it's one of the mindsets thats conducive to more drinking cos....whats the point.
The point is that sober you have every chance of making the future the way you want it to be
I believe in my sig
D
I'm sorry you feel low today but I think it's important to remember this is not the best it's gonna get.
You have a degree and I'd keep looking for jobs using that degree- yo'll never get one if you stop looking
'whats the point' thinking is a hold over from your addiction - it's one of the mindsets thats conducive to more drinking cos....whats the point.
The point is that sober you have every chance of making the future the way you want it to be
I believe in my sig
D
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