Sos
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
Hey everyone,
it has been a DAY. Im feeling a little unstable in my sobriety right now so any words of wisdom are appreciated but not required.
I’m the only manager at the front gates this weekend, and we were shortstaffed as it was. The day was already extremely busy and hot, and I am just beat. I really feel like drinking today, I don’t want to because I won’t get a good nights sleep for tomorrow, but it really feels like that would take the edge off and make me relax. I’m trying really hard not to romance a drink, but it’s hard today. I really like my staff this year, but a lot of them don’t think or try to figure out a problem before calling me, and the phone is ringing every five seconds. I’m the only one here, as I mentioned, so I’ve been running around everywhere sweating and unable to even sit down and eat. I really like this job a lot, and I’m not trying to complain, but it’s just been really exhausting today. A shower beer sounds amazing.
I feel like I’ve just hit a total wall, not necessarily in sobriety, but just today. I still have an hour and a half left, and I’m trying to head off this craving before it really hits me when I leave work today. Thanks all for listening.
ugh.
it has been a DAY. Im feeling a little unstable in my sobriety right now so any words of wisdom are appreciated but not required.
I’m the only manager at the front gates this weekend, and we were shortstaffed as it was. The day was already extremely busy and hot, and I am just beat. I really feel like drinking today, I don’t want to because I won’t get a good nights sleep for tomorrow, but it really feels like that would take the edge off and make me relax. I’m trying really hard not to romance a drink, but it’s hard today. I really like my staff this year, but a lot of them don’t think or try to figure out a problem before calling me, and the phone is ringing every five seconds. I’m the only one here, as I mentioned, so I’ve been running around everywhere sweating and unable to even sit down and eat. I really like this job a lot, and I’m not trying to complain, but it’s just been really exhausting today. A shower beer sounds amazing.
I feel like I’ve just hit a total wall, not necessarily in sobriety, but just today. I still have an hour and a half left, and I’m trying to head off this craving before it really hits me when I leave work today. Thanks all for listening.
ugh.
You'll be right back at square one and will feel crappy tomorrow. Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i don't mean to sound dismissive, but what about good ole H20? as in lots of it? and some protein?
it is tough when we are running solo and having to be 4 places at once. but it isn't forever, just a bit longer. you did have time to send this message, so there is at least enough time to guzzle some water.
think about the nice healthy dinner you've earned for your hard work today! what might that dinner be? and a nice cool shower - the in the tub with the spiggot thingie, not the other kind.
it is tough when we are running solo and having to be 4 places at once. but it isn't forever, just a bit longer. you did have time to send this message, so there is at least enough time to guzzle some water.
think about the nice healthy dinner you've earned for your hard work today! what might that dinner be? and a nice cool shower - the in the tub with the spiggot thingie, not the other kind.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
You’ve beat the craving before, dpac, so you know you have the strength and ability to do it again. You’ve already started to “play the tape” through. Play it through a little bit more to all the ill consequences that you will face if you drink.
You can do this. I know you can!!
You can do this. I know you can!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Its rough to be the guy on call, but it's not worth a drink. Maybe draw up some ideas for other ways to relax...even getting up from your desk and going outside for 15 mins is a good circuit breaker.
Yes the phone will probably ring but they will ring back - unless you're an air traffic controller or a 911 operator, 15 mins is neither here or there.
D
Yes the phone will probably ring but they will ring back - unless you're an air traffic controller or a 911 operator, 15 mins is neither here or there.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
I left work around 7pm and it’s 8:40 now. Stopped at a Panera and got some food, shoved it in my mouth, and am now on the couch watching wrestling. I think I’m going to have a popsicle and do a face mask, two things I always enjoy.
Craving is gone. I think I’m simply too exhausted. Popsicle, hot shower, face mask, and bed sound amazing.
Thank you all for being here. I always know I’ll get a response if I’m having a craving and it’s really comforting to have somewhere to turn.
I did it. Another day sober.
Craving is gone. I think I’m simply too exhausted. Popsicle, hot shower, face mask, and bed sound amazing.
Thank you all for being here. I always know I’ll get a response if I’m having a craving and it’s really comforting to have somewhere to turn.
I did it. Another day sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
I think you're pretty amazing for jumping right in here and voicing your concerns each time the A.V starts pecking your head. I only wish I had been smart enough to have done that last year when I relapsed. You've really got this and the good people here have got your back. X
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by dpac414 
I left work around 7pm and it’s 8:40 now. Stopped at a Panera and got some food, shoved it in my mouth, and am now on the couch watching wrestling. I think I’m going to have a popsicle and do a face mask, two things I always enjoy.
Craving is gone. I think I’m simply too exhausted. Popsicle, hot shower, face mask, and bed sound amazing.
Thank you all for being here. I always know I’ll get a response if I’m having a craving and it’s really comforting to have somewhere to turn.
I did it. Another day sober.
Craving is gone. I think I’m simply too exhausted. Popsicle, hot shower, face mask, and bed sound amazing.
Thank you all for being here. I always know I’ll get a response if I’m having a craving and it’s really comforting to have somewhere to turn.
I did it. Another day sober.
Congratulations...Hope you have a great day tomorrow now
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
Cravings always seem to hit me on saturdays but today I am really really feeling it. I’m not sure if I mentioned this it I work with a friend with whom I had a falling out, and working with him always makes me really sad. I feel like everyone dislikes me, an outcast, etc. It brings up every mean thing I’ve ever done in my life. My emotional response is to drink.
I know with my rational brain that it’s a mistake and I shouldn’t do it, but man do I feel close to throwing it all in the garbage.
This sucks!!!!!!!! I wanna ******* scream.
I know with my rational brain that it’s a mistake and I shouldn’t do it, but man do I feel close to throwing it all in the garbage.
This sucks!!!!!!!! I wanna ******* scream.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
I’ve been in exactly the same situation at my parents’ house. It’s a bit boring, the alcohol is there and free! My parents are old and unwell, so whilst they know I stopped drinking, they’re not aware of the battle I had - we all have had - to stop. They’d be upset.
Well done - next visit will be easier
Well done - next visit will be easier
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Please, please don't throw it in the garbage. I almost don't feel qualified to advise since I'm only on Day 8 but what I do know is that I spent forever throwing away my good intentions (to not drink) often on the basis of 'what the hell' and always, always regretting it next day. And Saturday was definitely a trigger day for me. You are not an outcast and everyone does not dislike you. One thing I know absolutely is that if you drink, chances are you will end up feeling the usual remorse, dread and self-loathing. It is not worth it. You and all of us are worth more than that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
I’m sorry you’re having a rough day, dpac. That internal chatter can get pretty loud sometimes. But it sounds to me like it’s lying. I’m sure everybody doesn’t hate you and that you are not an outcast.
Hold of your head up high today. You’ve got a lot to be proud of and you’re very strong. Your strength is evident in all of your posts.
This too shall pass.
Hold of your head up high today. You’ve got a lot to be proud of and you’re very strong. Your strength is evident in all of your posts.
This too shall pass.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
Just remember our brains are still healing and its going to be natural to feel a range of emotions. All you have to do for today is not drink! Whatever helps you achieve that make it your first priority, and think of how great it will feel when you wake tomorrow morning, sober!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
dpac, if you have a drink things will suck even worse, and that is a guarantee. You may feel relief for a few minutes, but as we know, it will be short-lived and the guilt and shame afterwards (at least in my case) would be overwhelming and complete. Remember HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) and if you're any of those things, be aware and get something to eat, or have a rest, take some deep breaths... do what you must do to maintain this most precious gift of sobriety. It was very good to come here and post first before picking up the poison. Wishing you all the best on your sober journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
Every time I post in fear of drinking y'all show up for me and it makes me want to cry because I am so grateful.
I'm okay. I kind of had to push myself out of that negative headspace and finish the rest of the day and I'm home now. I ordered pizza because I didn't trust myself to go to the store for something else, and am about to take a shower.
It's true that when we are drinking, our ability to process and move past resentments, trauma, and painful events is stunted, if not halted completely. I have so much baggage and it's apparent to me in these past months of sobriety that I didn't really deal with it. I have so much trouble letting go and am so afraid of people retracting their love or friendship. It's so easy to just give up and f the whole thing, and slip back into that dark pit I was in. I've made some progress, but I'm gonna really have to double down in therapy, hah.
Thank you all. From the bottom of my heart. I am just a sad, messed up 25 year old alcoholic in the US, and with all of you I really feel like I'm not alone. I'm going to steam the craving out of me with a nice hot shower and eat some pizza.
I'm okay. I kind of had to push myself out of that negative headspace and finish the rest of the day and I'm home now. I ordered pizza because I didn't trust myself to go to the store for something else, and am about to take a shower.
It's true that when we are drinking, our ability to process and move past resentments, trauma, and painful events is stunted, if not halted completely. I have so much baggage and it's apparent to me in these past months of sobriety that I didn't really deal with it. I have so much trouble letting go and am so afraid of people retracting their love or friendship. It's so easy to just give up and f the whole thing, and slip back into that dark pit I was in. I've made some progress, but I'm gonna really have to double down in therapy, hah.
Thank you all. From the bottom of my heart. I am just a sad, messed up 25 year old alcoholic in the US, and with all of you I really feel like I'm not alone. I'm going to steam the craving out of me with a nice hot shower and eat some pizza.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
