thomas11

I want to make this short and sweet. I went to a therapist to discuss my "depression" which really isn't depression. But I'll play along. I guess I am justified in my feelings, but going forward, nothing is necessarily going to change.

Job hunt, strong candidate, encouraged to apply for future positions. Currently I am a former business owner who brought in 6 million dollars and now I am operating a paper press for $15 per hour.

ps. I can sell jobs and operate a business that turned about $500K a year and now I can't get a job selling pressure washer nozzles. I am a white male in his early 50's. Time to hang myself?

Dee74

Jeff what on earth makes you think it's not depression?

For a long time, I thought thoughts like that were normal. They're not.

You liked the factory job last time we spoke and were getting some degree of satisfaction from it - are you still doing that?

D

Zanna

I think whether you want to call it 'depression' or sheer boredom, you are at the moment in a position where you are underachieving and it's getting to you.
I have no idea of how you got into this position, but if you managed to bring in X amount of money in your previous position, then you obviously have intelligence that is currently not being used at work. Boredom / depression call it what you want.
As I said, I have no idea what has happened but please, please ditch the 'I'm a white guy' routine - it's not pretty.
Hanging yourself isn't either - talk it out in person with someone, or talk it out on here - we do care and you're here for the exact same reason that we all are
Peace.

AtomicBlue

I tend to have a problem wanting things to happen NOW (and my way). But I’m learning to have patience and have faith things will work out. Keeping plugging along Thomas.

least

I hope you're not serious about hurting yourself. What you describe sounds like depression to me. Why not treat it as such and see what happens.

thomas11

Its ok Dee, and I could continue for some time. But I do not see my entire future cutting paper at a press. I dunno

thomas11

FYI, I am no danger to myself or others. Sometimes because of my background I can be rather cavalier about some pretty serious stuff (death). I do not mean to offend.

Dee74

There's no reason it has to be your future if you don't want it to be Jeff.

I'm lucky I found things to do in my life that I love to do, day in day out.
No reason why you can't keep looking for your version of that

You're 50 something, not 90 something.
This is not the final act - no matter what your fear and self loathing tells you.

And...its worth saying again - just because you get out of bed and go to work everyday and fulfill all your responsibilities and have times you feel ok doesn't mean it's not depression Jeff

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/d...on-in-men.htm/

D

thomas11

100% agree with ditch the white guy routine. Sorry

Dee74

I undertand gallows humour but gotta be honest - I don't really get the sense you're laughing Jeff.

It reads more like you're in pain and you blurt this stuff out....then backpedal on how serious it is.

But if you're telling me I have no cause to worry then I'm gonna take you at your word - and I'll try and remember that in future.

Hope you have a good week ahead man
D

thomas11

Dee you are more right than you are wrong. Let me elaborate on your thoughts tomorrow. I have issues and we both know that . FYI, you are a very smart man and I don't really even know you. Jeff.

Newbeginning421

I am sorry about the rough time you are going through right now and can understand the sense of underachieving and attitude about some serious stuff. I used to play online poker for a living so i too have become a bit desensitized. While things might not be great now if you keep on putting yourself in the right positions to succeed I am sure you will. While i am a bit younger definitely understand where you are coming from but things won't happen over night.

mariposa

thomas11

Thanks for this. I feel for ya. Its very frustrating and yesterday came some bad news about a job I really wanted. Therefore my frustration level was a 10 out of 10 and I vented here.

Now that I've thrown my little hissy fit, I will get back to the task at hand which is getting a decent job.

Seren

Hey thomas,

I've followed your story for a while, and I get your frustration. I'm in my, er, early 50's, too. I started graduate school late in life. It took a while for me to get a job. It's not a great paying job, but the work is satisfying, and my boss is great!

I hope you'll keep working toward the kind of work you really want to do. You are talented and you do have a future. I think it's just a matter of finding a boss who recognizes that!

Hang in there!

biminiblue

I know you got your Real Estate license not that long ago. When I sold Real Estate there were brokers who would let agents hang their license in their office and then pretty much leave us to our own devices. It was a great part-time avocation. Is there a reason you can't continue to do RE part time and do your other job too? Lots of people get started in RE that way, it's not easy to get up and going in RE since it's entirely commission, but it's a good way to supplement other income.

Mid life crises hit all of us. I'm female but my fifties were tough. Too old to be young and too young to be old, as the Kathy Bates character laments in, "Fried Green Tomatoes."

Keep going, you're okay.

entropy1964

As a woman in her early 50's that has to start working soon I have plenty of fears about not being 'hire-able'. Part of me says "No way, It'll be fine". The other part isn't so sure. And that is compounded by a brother of mine saying to me "What? You're going to work? Doing what? Who would hire you?". Thank you for that. Of course internalizing that is a WHOLE other story and obviously on me to refute. But a little encouragement would have been nice....or just "Oh ok. Good luck with that". Ha!

You are so right Bimini....too young to be old, too old to be young. Could this be the 'tweens of the latter years? Oh god I'm an 8th grader again.

The depression seems separate. I mean, obviously when our job sucks that is depressing. But depression, as in clinical, is different. Maybe keep an open mind with the therapist? Might actually help with the job prospects over time.

Anna

Jeff, I spent about 6 months job-hunting in my mid-fifties and I was pleasantly surprised. My children were grown, this was a new phase in my life, and I was very enthusiastic about working again. The employers I talked to really appreciated that.

I agree with what Dee and others said about depression. Playing along with a therapist who says you are depressed, while you insist you are not, won't help you heal. How can you be sure you aren't depressed?

Happyvale

Good to hear. I walked out of my office in the throes of a hissy fit myself the other day (not even a week into sobriety)... the task before me may result in a loss of a well paying job I believe I am very good at ...in my early 50's. I understand your fears...wholeheartedly. But a person has gotta do...what a person gots to do! I am taking some heart in Dee's signature line.... if it doesn't end well ...not the end. Fingers crossed for us all lol.