Same and predictable
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
Very new to this situation 4 days sober again try to stay determined. Going through alot of emotions very sad then happy about my separation. I picked up my daughter yesterday to stay with me this weekend and my wife was hugging me and kept talking to me when I did . I felt that spark again and stayed calm. Now today I'm so very sad I have no idea if it is myself getting sober or I miss my wife so much. Or both very stressful dealing with sobriety in this situation. I am determined to get sober though not for her but my happiness. I have so many things all coming to me at once to deal with. Not seeing my daughter again so I can work overtime to finish my lease. Finding a new place I can afford by myself. Manage my money to the t so I can eat. Dealing with my wife and daughter an hour away and her already in a new school. Dealing with all our family memories as I live in this house and driving around town. Dealing with me believing she is having an affair and her saying she doesnt know if she wants a divorce all thease mixed signals. I'm just a wreck. Everyone says give her time and just be nice and dont explode with emotions lol. Im getting sober my will power for emotions are weak. Idk sorry for rambling just lost in my head.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I got sober and had a whole mountain of debris to deal with oldskate - it's tough but it's doable...pick up a little bit of debris every week and you'll get there 
You'll always find a lot of support here. Why not join our Class of May support thread?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html
Its for everyone quitting this month
D
You'll always find a lot of support here. Why not join our Class of May support thread?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html
Its for everyone quitting this month
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by Oldskate 
It has come to a hard and horrible conclusion. My wife passed away due to an overdose of heroin.
I hope you can stay sober so you can take good care of your daughter and yourself. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Just terrible. I can’t imagine your emotions right now. But remember that thoughts don’t have to turn into actions.
Make a modest list every day of things you can accomplish. Don’t expect too much of yourself at this time. Just do not, under any circumstances, take a drink. Please ask for help.
Make a modest list every day of things you can accomplish. Don’t expect too much of yourself at this time. Just do not, under any circumstances, take a drink. Please ask for help.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
I am so sorry to read your tragic and devastating news. I know that there is probably nothing anyone can say that will help but I felt I must send you my condolences. Really hope your little girl is safe and that you can be with her. And, eventually, share some good memories of her mum with her.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
Thanks all for the support. My daughter turned 5 she has been living with me for a couple months.her mom was on a train wreck of abuse of acholic and drugs. Few weeks ago we were patching everything up she was completely sober and I was too. She was staying at her moms house to be with her sister visiting and they decided to party and she passed at her moms. I spoke to her the night before and she was in good spirits talking about our future together. It was a huge shock. My emotions are self blame wish I could have saved her sorrow for my daughter and mad that she was so selfish to even try that again. My baby girl is with me it is hard to say the least.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
If I could tell you the whole story it would be a movie. I loved my wife she had issues with addiction. Myself as well we got sober had a beautiful baby girl and life looked good. Sadly some of us wont take the help offered. No matter how much money or love/ resources we have you cant change anyone. She didnt want to die it's like only one more drink to us. Or we say we can drive we are sober enough it's not ok. It didnt wreck my life but right now as I look at the stars she wrecked me. Dont be that person that your loved ones cant look at the stars without sadness instead of wonder.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
As painful as this is oldskate it shouldn't be the end of your story or your daughters.
As wrecked and sad as you feel, and as understandable as that is, I just want to remind you there is still a future for the both of you - please don't let despair make you lose sight of that.
As wrecked and sad as you feel, and as understandable as that is, I just want to remind you there is still a future for the both of you - please don't let despair make you lose sight of that.
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