Did you go out with a bang or whimper?
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Originally Posted by kk1k5x 
Would you say then that the switch flip happened when the reason/main motivation for stopping ...ceased being sourced from the past, e.g. 'this was horrible, I'm never drinking again' and switched to being sourced from a certain prediction about the future that becomes clearer and more real (and this realisation finally becomes 'tangible')?
I.e. one stops perpetually licking the wounds of the past and starts safeguarding their future, because someone/something finally set a date and time for your execution (however varied that 'notification' is in each person's experience).
I.e. one stops perpetually licking the wounds of the past and starts safeguarding their future, because someone/something finally set a date and time for your execution (however varied that 'notification' is in each person's experience).
I had to take a rehabilitation course after a DUI some years back. The instructor had mentioned (and I don't know the veracity of his statistic but it makes sense) that most alcoholics quit between the ages of 35 to 45. Before 35 you still feel young and invincible, after 45 you feel it is too late and you are set in your ways. I quit at 38 so maybe there is something to that logic.
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I think topics like this are good to air out, especially for people new to sobriety. It's common to have a set of expectations or assumptions about how this all happens and it's easiest to focus on "going out with a bang".
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Knew I needed to quit when I searched for/found SR.. Kept 'going out' with different levels of consequences from my continued drinking. Finally just totally accepted that I'm better off in ALL areas of my life by just quitting.
These stairs sum up my continued drinking pretty well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wCLRBNB8ZU
These stairs sum up my continued drinking pretty well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wCLRBNB8ZU
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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"Rock bottom?" I guess it means where a person quits, and probably nothing more.
In the same way I can look back and see my own progression with drinking, I can look forward and see what the future would be on that path. I’m struck by the commonness of my story, and I can know that things could have gotten much, much worse without having to live it.
-bora
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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Originally Posted by boreas
I stewed about sobriety long before I made the first step, kind of the mental rehearsal referred to earlier in the thread. Having lurked around these parts for years, I’ve digested many a story. I've always believed that given enough time, less luck, and a different set of circumstances that I could also have a wider variety of horror stories all my own.
In the same way I can look back and see my own progression with drinking, I can look forward and see what the future would be on that path. I’m struck by the commonness of my story, and I can know that things could have gotten much, much worse without having to live it.
-bora
In the same way I can look back and see my own progression with drinking, I can look forward and see what the future would be on that path. I’m struck by the commonness of my story, and I can know that things could have gotten much, much worse without having to live it.
-bora
at all.
I met a woman in AA who told me that she knew she was an alcoholic for years, but never attempted to do anything about it, because she simply didn't care.
It's complex.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Interesting thread. I’m pretty sure that my answer to the question is “both”.
IME, I was very aware of my drinking problem for about two years. Even though I was aware, I did not stop. In fact, my drinking ramped up - frequency, duration, alcohol type, etc. The bad decisions also ramped up - things were quickly spiraling out of control. I was completely aware of all of this but did not stop. Sure, I had many internal conversations about needing to stop and having a problem. I had the endless cycle of guilt, anxiety, depression, anger, etc. I felt trapped and caught in a cycle. I view those two years as the “bang”.
One morning, I woke up and told myself that this was the day I was done drinking. That’s it. I stopped and haven’t had a drop to drink since. I view that as the “whimper”.
I really do think it took me two years of bad decisions, self talk, feeling the negative emotions, etc to be able to make the decision to quit drinking.
IME, I was very aware of my drinking problem for about two years. Even though I was aware, I did not stop. In fact, my drinking ramped up - frequency, duration, alcohol type, etc. The bad decisions also ramped up - things were quickly spiraling out of control. I was completely aware of all of this but did not stop. Sure, I had many internal conversations about needing to stop and having a problem. I had the endless cycle of guilt, anxiety, depression, anger, etc. I felt trapped and caught in a cycle. I view those two years as the “bang”.
One morning, I woke up and told myself that this was the day I was done drinking. That’s it. I stopped and haven’t had a drop to drink since. I view that as the “whimper”.
I really do think it took me two years of bad decisions, self talk, feeling the negative emotions, etc to be able to make the decision to quit drinking.
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Join Date: May 2019
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Good question! Mine is an interesting situation because I knew I had to stop long before I actually did. I even tried to bottom out, eventually throwing up wine all over the bathroom floor while my wife was taking a shower. Although incredibly embarassing, I wouldn't exactly call it a rock bottom moment.
The day I actually stopped drinking was about two days later (April 27) when I got on Facebook and clicked the "timehop" button which brought me to all of my page's previous activity from as far back as when I joined the site. Ten years ago that day I had had my first drink. I know this because the friend I drank with had posted a cyptic message on my page about going out that night. As it dawned on me that my drinking had come around full cycle and I had drank for exactly ten years (to the day!) I teared up. There would be no better time to stop, so I did.
That's the truth. And because of how neatly that part of my life wrapped up it makes it easier to be done with it. It feels like I put it in a box, taped it shut, tied it with a bow and pushed it deep into the closet to collect dust alongside old clothes, long lost diaries and shoes that no longer fit.
Don't get me wrong, I always remember the box is in there, but it's refreshing to think of it as a memory now. A memory of another life that I never have to live again.
The day I actually stopped drinking was about two days later (April 27) when I got on Facebook and clicked the "timehop" button which brought me to all of my page's previous activity from as far back as when I joined the site. Ten years ago that day I had had my first drink. I know this because the friend I drank with had posted a cyptic message on my page about going out that night. As it dawned on me that my drinking had come around full cycle and I had drank for exactly ten years (to the day!) I teared up. There would be no better time to stop, so I did.
That's the truth. And because of how neatly that part of my life wrapped up it makes it easier to be done with it. It feels like I put it in a box, taped it shut, tied it with a bow and pushed it deep into the closet to collect dust alongside old clothes, long lost diaries and shoes that no longer fit.
Don't get me wrong, I always remember the box is in there, but it's refreshing to think of it as a memory now. A memory of another life that I never have to live again.
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Join Date: Jun 2018
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Had one whipper of a bender for about a month straight with 2-3 day stretches of sobriety here and there.
Towards the end of that month, I was so tired I passed out for about 24+ hours straight woke up clear headed (or as clear as you can) and just realized this wasn’t how I wanted to live and not where I wanted my life to go.
And I kind of knew that before this bender, but I guess I chose to ignore it. I had thoughts of quitting before this happened, so this was the last straw.
Slept like crap, shakes and sweats for several days...
Took me a couple more tries of moderating before I realized that doesn’t work too well for me.
So I guess you can say it was a bang which slowly fizzled out.
Towards the end of that month, I was so tired I passed out for about 24+ hours straight woke up clear headed (or as clear as you can) and just realized this wasn’t how I wanted to live and not where I wanted my life to go.
And I kind of knew that before this bender, but I guess I chose to ignore it. I had thoughts of quitting before this happened, so this was the last straw.
Slept like crap, shakes and sweats for several days...
Took me a couple more tries of moderating before I realized that doesn’t work too well for me.
So I guess you can say it was a bang which slowly fizzled out.
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