loopylou69

I'm doing OK, it's so nice to have someone ask that so thank you. Had an email from my ex husband that reduced me to a sobbing wreck this afternoon. It would appear that there were a lot of behaviours that I can't even recall but that affected him deeply. It's almost as if I'm being punished for things someone else did. I'm not that person. I'm coming to terms with the realisation it will take my ex and our daughter years to forgive me though, so I guess that's progress. Oh and I've signed up for gym classes again, going to start doing things to look after myself and move forward with my life.

For everyone struggling with sobriety, give your loved ones a hug and tell them that you love them ♥️

ReadyAtLast

I think it's positive he is communicating with you. Things can only improve as long as you stay sober. MLD51's post is spot on.

Congrats on your sober time

Hevyn

I went through that with my family too, loopy. I managed to redeem myself when they saw I was not that person anymore. I agree - the drunk me bears no resemblance to the actual me. You will rise above all this - you're doing great.

Hawkeye13

Time takes time--stay sober, do the next right thing, and you might be surprised how much can be healed.

My spouse was ready to divorce when I quit too--now we are closer than ever--but the trust can only be rebuilt by reliable daily actions towards recovery.

No matter if your family relationships can be "repaired" or not, the most important relationship--the one with yourself--can be built and nurtured and that in itself (for me at least) was by far the most healing and positive thing to come from my drinking problem.

I grew up with low self-esteem, hurt, and angry so I drank in large part to escape that.

As I learned to love and care for myself internally, and to honor who I was, warts and all, my external relationships also improved, and I found that the drive to drink diminishes.

So no matter what loopy, you can grow and prosper

ThatWasTheOldMe

I'll bet most people that knew drunk you are much happier to know sober you.

Drunk people do and say stupid ****; that's not the real you.

Dee74

I had to deal with a lot of angry and disappointed people too Loopylou. The longer I stayed sober tho - and worked on becomeing the person I wanted to be - the better my relationships got.

Try and be patient. Focus on yourself and your recovery for now. It'll pay rewards.

D

Soberliving37

Try not to let guilt and pain cause you to relapse. I find in the past that's what caused myself to backslide. I know others will forgive when they see positive changes.

Robert88

I do not think that it is ever too late to recover from our addictions. I am at 4 months as well and I am finding it hard again because I am so stressed out and I feel like life is not fun right now. I have also damaged relationships in my family. I have also damaged many relationships with women. I think that my relationships will get better as time goes on. I just have to remember that I did drugs for 13 years straight so four months is nothing to them compared to all the torture that I put them through. However, it is a big deal to us to be clean for 4 months because we know how hard it really is. Congratulations on 4 months of sobriety.

WhoDeyPI

Never too late.

Daisybelle

I can resonate with your post Loupylou, I suffered terribly from flashbacks about my behaviour. I did some very stupid, incredibly selfish and at times dangerous things. I hurt my husband and family dreadfully. I'm just over 13 months sober now, so it's still early days for me really in the grand scheme of things, but the flash backs are getting fewer and fewer.
l've learnt that all the 'sorries' in the world are meaningless and that actions are by far the best apology. I'm also learning that time really is a great healer.
I am concentrating on my sobriety, it's a priority, I will do it this time, I work hard every day to be a better person and my family are now seeing this. I am building up a good relationship with my husband and daughter again, I'm not saying they completely trust me yet and who could blame them, but we're 'getting there.'
Be kind to yourself and give it time. Things always have a way of working out, not always the way you expect them too, but even so. xx

loopylou69

Your words and those of everyone else that has posted in this thread really have helped me today. I've been wallowing in a pit of self loathing but I'm now starting to appreciate that I need to forgive myself and move forward with sobriety. Focus on myself not on my past actions. I like who I am right now and I haven't felt this in a long time

Pippo

The highest returns on a commodity arise when investment is made at the lowest possible price.