abgator

We all have our reasons. A part of my brain is broken somewhere. "Disease" and the documentation from "experts" was a way to show my dad that "suck it up" and "tough love" were not only not going to work for me, but cause just the opposite.

At the same time, I see how a lot of people use the term "disease" as a scapegoat. There's a lot of different angles to it.

saoutchik

Hi abgator, congratulations on 4 days sober!

I just wanted to second what MLD51 said about looking into S.M.A.R.T meetings. Some of the ones I went to were very good although others less so. I'm not sure how things work in the US but the meetings were free here in London, consisting of between 10 and 20 people. It took a couple of weeks to get a place on a group.

The other thing I wanted to mention was do try to take some exercise as it does help reduce the insomnia of early recovery and it also shortens the evening craving period - or at least it did for me. Good luck.

Happyvale

So you grew up with Clint Eastwood too.

abgator

Yep. That's generally how we are in the South. Just ol' country boys. I was a hard ass like that for the most part as well until I was on the other end of it. A number of my views have evolved since my alcoholism escalated.

Happyvale

My father was much the same.... he truly believed that constant criticism was productive parenting. He was an addict though (gambler) and had some pain issues - not too mention abandonment by parents. But men of his generation were also very "suck it up - don't cry" and that did not just extend to the boys in my family. And no...it is not evolved in any way. But hey, I know they did the best with what they had themselves. I know that when I was younger....asking for help? Therapy? The was for whiny, pathetic sissies. Hence finding answers in a bottle - easy, cheap, isolated therapy.

Little did I know how much strength asking for help or simply extending yourself to another actually takes.

abgator

Yep. Asking for help was by far the hardest part.

abgator

So insomnia sucks. One of my "reasons" for drinking....very difficult for me to sleep. My brain never shuts off. 90 to nothing. I'm not craving a drink surprisingly, just a way to get some damn sleep.

One of my other "reasons" to drink. Freaking pain. My neck went out of alignment today and almost instantly I could feel the light headedness, headache, and eye pain come on. This is always accompanied by mild anxiety. Having this type of pain and feeling in your neck is always unnerving, even though I know it's not major or permanent. I should be back to normal after my chiro appt in 16 hours. Pain "management" when you know medicine doesn't work. Hereto, I'm not craving alcohol itself, just relief. Couple that with insomnia and it'll be a long night. Gotta get the kid up in 6 hours for school.

Dee74

It took me about 10 days to get back into a regular sleeping pattern,

As for pain - I have a lot of chronic pain - alcohol never did much really except knock me out for a couple of hours.

Waking up at 3am with the pain coming back is not a good thing.

D

Happyvale

That doesn't sound fun. Have you always had issues with insomnia or is it the pain that prevents sleep? Lacking serotonin often manifests into insomnia...natural supplements like 5HTP or the one for sleep...melatonin (or is that a skin issue ; ). Something with an M...and then there is the other M..magnesium is also supposed to be good for sleep. If its pain... like that needs chiropractor...heat and ice? I'm sure you know all the stuff. I recently started taking collagen powder (for skin reasons and protein on keto).... but it's also suppose to be excellent for joint pain. I don't have joint pain ...so wouldn't know. I'm waiting for my skin and hair to be glorious and shiny and look 10 years younger ha ha

Caprice6

Have you seen a doctor, they may prescribe Trazadone to help with sleep. I cannot function properly without sleep and find it one of the best remedies.

abgator

I had trazadone years ago, but it only helped me get to sleep. I'd wake up 2 hours later and be off and on all night. I've been through everything the psychiatrist has and none of it helps. And I refuse to take something like ambien, that stuff is crazy.

I take magnesium, among many other supplements. Nothing really seems to help. Even when I'm at my healthiest (sober, exercising, etc), I always have trouble sleeping. I don't think I ever sleep more than 3 hours in a row. The chronic pain just makes it worse. I can function at a high level on 6 hours of sleep. The 2 or 3 I got last night, no idea how I had 9 productive hours at work and now I've got my youngster to play with the rest of the evening/night.

Usually I have one solution that works pretty well (won't say it here..no, not that you pervs), but it didn't help last night.

Caprice6

There has to be something, maybe the dosage wasn't high enough. My mom isn't an alcoholic and the worst insomniac, to this day she can't sleep without whatever she's been prescribed.Maybe just give it some time, insomnia is at its worse the first few days of withdrawal.

abgator

Even when I made it to 2 or 3 months sober, I still only slept 6 hours at best, never consecutively. I think it's just a curse. Just can't shut off the brain.

I feel great now though. Chiropractor and a deep tissue were a huge help. Withdrawal symptoms are completely gone aside from the worse than usual sleep.

Caprice6

still there are some doctors who specialize in sleep disorders, somnologists or just plain sleep doctors (there are many in my area when I googled), you can get a referral from your family doctor.
Sleep is so important, I hope you can get to the bottom of it.

abgator

Thanks. I guess it's something I just dealt with for so long I got use to it.

Caprice6

I think your quality of life would improve if you gave it another shot. I get over the counter Valerian Root extract. It's herbal (derives from the plant which Valium is made of, but has no chemical component to it and is surprisingly effective).
Of course, I also have 100mg of Trazadone. To me, a good nights sleep is essential.

abgator

I've tried the Valerian Root. CBD oil works the best for me, but that gets pricey. It's not for most people, particularly addicts, but I also have a medical marijuana card. I occasionally smoke an indica at night to help me sleep and it works as long as I don't do too much to make my anxious. Mostly though I use it for high CBD, low thc, non-psychoactive benefits. Not promoting that for anyone else, just know what works for me if I need to resort to it.

Luckily, alcohol is the only thing I have an addiction to. I've taken benzos, opiates, weed....and I can stop them and not even think about it.

Meraviglioso

Really interesting thread, thank you.


I thought you might be interested in this thread which helped me a lot:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...influence.html (Excerpts from "Under The Influence")

Caprice6

abgator - I spared you a whole chapter in response last night as my computer crashed. Bottom line is to still be careful, we are not particularly immune to substance addictions. Really hope your sleep improves, there has to be something that won't alter your state of mind or that would help outside what you've tried. They would need to pinpoint your sleep disorder in order to help. A neighbor of mine had sleep apnea, for example, and had to go through an operation last year, but is doing much better.
I'd try to google sleep disorders and go from there to see if any fit my symptoms.

August252015

I grew up in a different South than you did, Abgator, but people still don't "get" alcoholism even when they are themselves....or def have them in the fam. My country cousins in point...

I'd just say that my wise dad told me that trying to think my way out of my drinking was just not going to work. I had to give that quest up - and I'd echo the thoughts about substituting anything that helps us cope without dr advice, listening to others etc.

Keep going- what's working right now is the most important. Not drinking is the most important - today.