magnum102

Insomnia bad as well literally not one hours sleep. Bad depression as well. Its difficult to tell if these are from my gf leaving me for her ex, which caused my bender. I dont really even remember drinking, kinda remember buying it. I wake up my day 1 feeling super sick, look around and my room is trashed, clothes everywhere, cereal and milk all over the floor (my roommates), 2 or 3 fifth of cheap vodka, bunch of tall cans of steel reserve, few forties of steel reserve. I feel like theres no way I could have drank that all in one day, maybe though I did start early. Have high tolerance.

I didnt even clean up the mess that day, but it was my day one sober, i just laid in bed watching movies depressed out of my mind, throwing up water, my legs were twitching like crazy, sweating a lot. made it through the day though sober

day 2: I'm able to get out of bed around 4pm and clean up the mess which took awhile, all the cocoa puffs were glued into floor had to get something to scrape them off. I even took a shower and shaved, which I hadnt done since my gf left me for someone else. Physical symptoms more sweating, I would feel almost bipolar super sad and try to sleep even though I knew I couldnt then laughing at some stupid thing online. I applied to a ton of jobs too which was good cause ive been unemployed like a week. Went to work drunk, even drank in bathroom, then just walked out lol wtf.

Day 3: (today) another super depressed feeling morning, skipped my dentist appointment. I feel more depressed today than day 2, also feels like my heart is beating faster? not sure why? maybe cause its my 3 day just sitting in bed and at my desk all day.

I really miss the company of my gf, even though she cheated and left me, im coming to terms with it. shes actually alcoholic herself, already has two kids and pretty obese. so shes not like a 10/10, but she was also my only friend here so its lonely without her. Been going no contact past couple days, but those first few days I messaged her from like 10 different email accounts i made, 10 facebook accounts, found an app that makes fake phone numbers. smh and this is after she cheated I just wanted her back, when i sobered up I figured it out more, that I can do better. anyways ill end rant. thanks for reading

DontRemember

Delete/block her email,social media and number.. If you're lonely and bored go to a meeting.

magnum102

I did yesterday, thanks, even deleted her pics and number off phone, everything.

Canuck76

Sounds like you have been through the ringer. I have ruined countless relationships with women over the years with my drinking. I guess I was always hoping the right girl could save me from my alcoholism. None of these relationships would have ever worked out in the long run. Alcohol would always win out.

I am only day 13 so was feeling like you are now recently. Didn't sleep for 6 days. I think you should be happy that your girlfriend left. Alcoholic, 2 kids, obese, and a cheater. You dodged a bullet! Sober up. There are always more jobs and better women out there!

DontRemember

Good,bro..the only way forward is to delete and block. Sounds like you weren't really happy in that relationship anyway.. focus on yourself for a while. WAAAAYYY EASIER!!

magnum102

lol thanks man, feeling good day 13? I had two years before, but I always go back to social drinking then it goes from there... I actually slept first night, but not last night, horrible vivid dream though. A lot of them too, like 3 different dreams. It was we my eyes would be open or half open and still seeing the dream if that makes since.

magnum102

will do,

Meddles

magnum102

Meddles

rich27

I can relate to everything you're feeling because it was me 16 months ago. I had to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask myself: Why do I feel the need to drink so excessively? The answer is within ourselves.

There are two types of drinkers: casual and excessive. We are excessive drinkers and I believe that excessive drinking is the path leading to violence, cheating, abusive behavior or a combination of the three. I've been to so many meetings and those traits were most common.

It's been a year since I've given up drinking and I'm still learning how to live without booze and partying. But I will be a much better person for the next someone that comes along. And you will be too. Best wishes.

abgator

I had hallucinations like that during my last detox. It was trippy as hell. Only in the dark, but open or shut, my eyes were like move projects. Playing out full scenes from movies, war type stuff, but all jumped. And they were rotating. The the images would change every 15 seconds or so.

I had to just turn the lights and tv back on. No sleep was being had for sure in that.

tomls

Hang in there! You can do this! Make this the most important thing in your life, because it is!