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Old 06-18-2019, 03:13 AM
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New to this

Hi All,

I'm hoping today is the first day of the rest of my new life.

I've been a heavy drinker since my early 20s and I'm now 51. I've always denied being an alcoholic as I thought I could control my drinking, and up to a point I could - I was able to do a 'dry January' a couple of years ago, but that's not the case any more. The last few months I have started to get withdrawal symptoms, shakes etc. which meant I needed to start drinking earlier in the day.

Up until lately I worked from home, so it was easy to keep my habit a secret from work colleagues, but now I have to go into the office and it has been hard to control the shakes and looking hungover.

I've managed to keep my drinking problem secret from my friends and family, apart from my wife, who is very supportive and is going to help me quit. We had planned on me quitting in a few weeks when I could take some time off work and she could be around to support me, but it was just getting too much. I suffer from anxiety and have been on medication for over 10 years and it just came to a head yesterday - I couldn't go on like this any more. So I told work I had family issues and decided to quit from today. I have an addicted personality - I have been addicted to gambling, slot machines and smoking in the past and managed to stop all that with will power alone.

I'm not sure will power will be enough this time, but I'll try. I'm not religious, so I'm not sure AA is for me. I've seen there is a SMARTS scheme fairly local so I might give that a try.

I was in hospital last December and wasn't able to drink for over a week, I had shakes and spasms for a few days but was OK, so I think I'll be OK without any medical treatment.

Anyway, that's me. Please wish me luck and any advice for coping with withdrawal and staying sober would be great.

Thanks,
Andy.
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Old 06-18-2019, 03:38 AM
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Welcome to SR Andy

I think the best thing you could do right now is read around - see what other people are doing to stay sober and find a way, or ways., that make sense to you.

We also have a Class of June support thread. Its for everyone quitting this month, and all you have to do to join is post in it:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2019-a-17.html (Class of June Part 1 2019)

D
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Old 06-18-2019, 05:01 AM
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Glad you posted. I've learned support and understanding is critical. It's great that your wife is on board and that you found this forum. Don't count out AA, there's a great saying "Take what you need and leave the rest". By that I mean you don't have to be religious and you don't/ won't relate to everything being talked about. But there will be things said and discussed that could prove useful if you're able to weed through what's relevant to you.
I hope you look into a SMART meeting. I've often wished I had more diverse meetings near me but as I don't I've gone to AA and practiced what I noted above.
Hoping your withdrawal stays manageable. Please believe people when they say withdrawal only gets worse each time.
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Old 06-18-2019, 05:13 AM
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Hey Andy, welcome, and best wishes in the journey you're beginning today.

It sounds like you might want to at least consult a doctor. Withdrawal can be dangerous. As MovingForward said, you might want to at least give AA a chance. I mean, this is your life at stake, after all. Can't hurt to check out a meeting or two.

You're lucky to have a supportive partner in this. Mine was not too sympathetic which made a tough situation a bit tougher.


Sobriety is awesome! Welcome to the club! Hang in there and keep us posted.
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Old 06-18-2019, 05:18 AM
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Thanks all for the kind messages, I'll need to look into what options there are locally re AA / SMART etc.. I'll post on the June thread too. Still very early days, so let's see how it goes...
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Old 06-18-2019, 06:07 AM
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Hi Andy! You are definitely in the right place! I am currently on Day 5 and everyone on here has been so supportive and helpful. The best advice I can give you is to look around the forums, read as many posts as you can and ride out the withdrawals. If it gets bad, please don't hesitate to call a doctor or go to the ER as it can be dangerous. Wishing you the best of luck on your journey and as always, don't be afraid to post as many times as you need to!!!
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Old 06-18-2019, 06:42 AM
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Welcome Andy.
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Old 06-18-2019, 08:15 AM
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Originally Posted by NewDayNewMe View Post
Hi All,

I'm hoping today is the first day of the rest of my new life.

I've been a heavy drinker since my early 20s and I'm now 51. I've always denied being an alcoholic as I thought I could control my drinking, and up to a point I could - I was able to do a 'dry January' a couple of years ago, but that's not the case any more. The last few months I have started to get withdrawal symptoms, shakes etc. which meant I needed to start drinking earlier in the day.

Up until lately I worked from home, so it was easy to keep my habit a secret from work colleagues, but now I have to go into the office and it has been hard to control the shakes and looking hungover.

I've managed to keep my drinking problem secret from my friends and family, apart from my wife, who is very supportive and is going to help me quit. We had planned on me quitting in a few weeks when I could take some time off work and she could be around to support me, but it was just getting too much. I suffer from anxiety and have been on medication for over 10 years and it just came to a head yesterday - I couldn't go on like this any more. So I told work I had family issues and decided to quit from today. I have an addicted personality - I have been addicted to gambling, slot machines and smoking in the past and managed to stop all that with will power alone.

I'm not sure will power will be enough this time, but I'll try. I'm not religious, so I'm not sure AA is for me. I've seen there is a SMARTS scheme fairly local so I might give that a try.

I was in hospital last December and wasn't able to drink for over a week, I had shakes and spasms for a few days but was OK, so I think I'll be OK without any medical treatment.

Anyway, that's me. Please wish me luck and any advice for coping with withdrawal and staying sober would be great.

Thanks,
Andy.
Congrats on deciding to choose a better life. You don't have to be religious to overcome addiction. There are many sober atheists.

In my opinion, one can never stop their additive behavior until they understand the cause. Addictive behavior is a symptom of something else that is wrong in our life. Addicts don't chase feelings; they escape their feelings. If you are an alcoholic, you escape how you feel with a quick fix or mood changer of alcohol. All addictions serve an emotional purpose and that purpose is to regain control of our feelings. The antidote is to be curious, discover what circumstances in life make us feel, helpless, powerless, trapped and lacking control. Understand that we have learned to attempt to regain control of our feelings with mood changing chemicals. You don't get addicted to a substance or behavior unless you have learned it does something for you. (Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat)

Consider new ways, more healthy ways to regain control of our emotions, our feelings. Escape the trap of feeling helpless with more healthy high value behaviors that empower us and help us regain control. Of course, this is easier said than done but it all starts with motivation, purpose and values.

When I look back on my 47 years of chemical abuse, I realize that I had lost my purpose and values in life. My purpose and values were centered solely around getting high, escaping my feelings.

To be the right person you must think, feel and behave congruent with your deepest values. If you don't have values and purpose in life find them. If you lost them, find them again.

Where attention goes, neurofiring flows and neuroconnection grows. Grow close to God and He will grow close to you. James 4:6
You just might find yourself a New Creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17.
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Old 06-19-2019, 01:26 AM
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Welcome Andy!

I feel like this forum provides a good baseline for my recovery plan this time. I've made dozens of attempt to quit over the past 20 years, some more serious, some less. I've tried all kinds of things, and am still doing a number of things like exercise, occasional AA meetings, church, journaling, reading.

What's really cool about posting on here is you can ask a specific question and get a dozen focused responses. So if you try something like a SMART or AA meeting and still have some questions you don't feel comfortable asking there, dump 'em here! From what I've seen all honest questions are welcome, so you can tailor your recovery program to you.

I made the mistake for years of trying to follow one particular method precisely. I felt like I was doing all the right things but couldn't seem to "get it." Then someone pointed out that MY program might not be THAT program. I'd have to tweak it a bit, and continue to be open to new ideas that might be helpful, and be willing to make changes as I progressed. It felt like it took a lot of pressure off to "get it right, from the start" and just begin living life more soberly and positively and openly, and continue to grow and make changes as needed.

And over the next few days you'll see incoming threads of new people on their own Day 1, and you're going to be able to relate your immediate experience to them in a way that's fresh and recent, and pass it on...
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