New to recovery, reaching out for some accountablity :)
 

Hi everyone,

I'm ten days sober and just looking to engage people online to have some accountability. I'm still struggling with the idea that I have serious problem although logically I understand that I do. It's only recently that I have learned about recovery and I've been basically breathing recovery podcasts, articles and videos because I suddenly found all of these people I could identify with. Right now I'm taking it day by day but so far truly enjoying it. I can't explain it other than I feel like I'm getting back in touch with who I was when I was kid.

Anyways, I'm tentatively taking steps to talk to the people around me about it. One of the problems I face is that many of my friends are binge drinkers (like I was) and so it might be hard for them to understand. To them, we just party together on the weekends, but they don't understand how I'm always thinking about that next beer or drinking five more at home alone when the night's over. You know?

Before I go, any tips on confronting boredom in early sobriety? I have many hobbies that I'm excited to rediscover but I'm realizing just how much time you get back when you stop drinking.

Thanks everyone,

-Hank

My old routine was a drink, two or three after dinner. I’ve done pretty well substituting exercise / walking the neighborhood. Also helps with losing a few pounds.

Welcome to the family. :) Congrats on ten days sober, that's a great start. :) You'll find lots of support here. As far as things to do, have you thought about volunteering somewhere in your area? Might be a perfect way to give back to your neighborhood and make some friends. :)

freshout
Welcome aboard and congratulations on your decision !

I'll give you what I think is the best tip, one that will set a good mindset for going forward. Figure out how to confront( or live with) boredom, full stop.

If one focuses on battling boredom 'in sobriety' , they are planning on drinking in some non-distinct future. The implicit nature of drinking as a response to boredom is the addiction trying to stay alive and looking for a chance to convince the rest of yourself to jump back in.

Drinking is drinking , once you decide to quit there is no more drinking, unless you set up conditions where it will be permissible to let yourself pour some more booze down your throat.

Quit full stop, and assign yourself 100% confidence in your ability to remain abstinent , anything less is carving out conditions for more booze.

( I learned this mindset from AVRT/RR , great threads on these ideas here on SR in the Secular recovery forum )

Congratulations on your decision again , rootin for ya!

For me boredom was a big trigger. Idle time with nothing to do. So, what I did was try to stick to some sort of schedule. Start your day off with an AA meeting. After work, hit another meeting. I rediscovered hobbies I used to love. I have built about 20 model cars since I got sober. I have also read many books. I love going to hobby shops, book stores. I also started a saltwater reef tank. So now I grow different corals and have really neat fish. On weekends I'll take a drive to a new fish store to check it out. I go to bed early and get up early. It's tough at first but you WILL begin finding joy in things other than drinking again.

:thanks

having a formal service position at the meeting where i am accountable like coffee maker is the #1 contributor to my intact sobriety date!

:tyou

Hi and welcome Freshout :)

I actually had to make some pretty big changes,. I lost a lot of drinking buddies - not because they were drinkers, but because they refused to accept me as a non drinker.

I did however reconnect with a lot of old friends and make some new ones who only know me as a non drinker.

It is hard to try and figure out what to do when you're no longer drinking. For so long Drinking = fun for me.

It took me a little time to realise that sitting on the couch channel surfing was fine for drunk me but sober me needed more.

There are some pretty good ideas here for things to do.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ething-do.html

I also did some community volunteering like least suggested.

Congrats on your 10 days :)

D

Good job on 10 days of sobriety!

I had become very isolated during the last months of my drinking and had given up activities and hobbies. I started out slowly. The only thing I did at the outset was to start taking long walks after supper because that was a difficult time for me. I was surprised how much the exercise helped me to feel positive. Then, gradually I began to get back into things that I loved doing.

You will always find lots of support here, so I hope that you keep reading and posting.

I'm in early sobriety too - 9 days!
I combat boredom by realizing that it will probably always be there, but it's never a reason to drink. Then I read something recovery related, watch a random video on YouTube (I like MIT OpenCourseWare), go for a walk, go to a meeting, make a snack, pet my kitties, pretty much anything but drink.

Welcome aboard. I'll say that especially in those early days, like many have said, is learning to deal with boredom. For weeks I would have times where I would sit quietly staring off in to space for an hour or two at a time. I used it as a chance to evaluate myself, I started thinking about memories I hadn't thought of in years. I took the things and thought about how I remember them or my behavior in them could have been different without the presence of alcohol and then (probably the most important part) I let them out, either by journaling or talking to the friends and family that I had included in my first admission of my disease.

Anyways, hope you find many helpful things here and congrats on the 10 days!

Hi Freshout, congrats on 10 days. I didn’t have much time to be bored because I was dealing with work and life challenges. But I was very restless and anxious. My therapist told me boredom, anxiety and restlessness are very common in early sobriety. It does pass. I had to establish new routines for myself. Even making the bed first thing in the morning was a big deal. Then I’d do a meditation followed by exercise (often running) when my schedule allowed. I took yoga classes a few nights a week with my husband’s support at home.

When I had more time on my hands, I did feel boredom sometimes. I started journaling, painting and other art projects and found my creative side, cooking and baking, journaling. I enjoy listening to podcasts now as well. I’m always expanding and discovering.

When we stop drinking, there is so much more time and mental space to explore new ideas, hobbies and activities. I have also learned there are times I simply need to sit still and relax. It has been so good for my mind to meditate. I think it’s something we all need.

I had to put some distance between me and my heavy drinking friends. A couple years later, one has come back in my life, but only occasionally. She is still a heavy drinker, but she respects my decision not to drink. She is trying to quit herself and says she is inspired by me :) I am no longer friends with the others. They are a mess, unsupportive of me, and it’s too toxic to be around them. I have made new friends, both nondrinkers and normies. I have learned a lot about setting boundaries.

Thanks everyone :) I think you're right about learning to embrace boredom. It is true that boredom and daydreaming are tools that can help us access memories or discover answers to questions we have been struggling with.
Day 11 feels great.

Two weeks and I continue to feel good. Much more relaxed, optimistic, energetic and curious about life again. One thing I have discovered in my first attempts to embrace boredom (which was based on a question I asked in the first post) is that my memory has sharpened and I suddenly have access to time periods and events that I hadn't thought about for years. I'll just be sitting around or reading when all of a sudden there is a rush of nostalgia for something I had completely forgotten about.
For example, I was on the cross country team in high school and a night before the big state race we had a bonfire. We played this game where you stuff as many marshmallows into your mouth as possible and try to say "chubby bunny". We laughed so hard that night and it was such an innocent moment. No drinking, just goofing off with friends. I'm so thankful that I can access these things again in sobriety.
I think when I was drinking my memory was caught on a loop. Even though it had stopped being fun, I would constantly remind myself of the drinking times that were fun in order to reassure myself that alcohol made life better. There was simply no room for other memories.
Anyone have a similiar discovery?

Congrats on two weeks sober! :) Keep going, it gets better. :)

My biggest thrill after getting sober, and still is a big thrill over 9 yrs later, is just waking up feeling good. :) I cherish that and it never gets old. I wake up, my little dog is next to me, and I'm ready for the day.

When I was drinking, waking up wasn't a nice thing. :(

I went for a lot of long walks in the early days. I also read a lot of books. I’m more of an introvert, tho. If I wasn’t, I maybe would have used my drinking money to take a group class of some kind.

These things don’t do the work for you, but it is very good to pick up some healthy enjoyable hobbies as background for the work of deweaving the addict brain, in my opinion.

So many beautiful responses here. I'm so very happy you have arrived when you did Fresh..... I know I for one benefited by it.

Hello
 

Hello everyone. 6 days sober and it's hard. Love the feeling of waking up and feeling ready for the day. No guilt or anger. But as the day progresses the thought of a "chilled out drink" starts creeping in. I look forward to finding support and sober tips 😊

Great decision to quit and welcome here.

For me, one of the things that helped the most was hot baths after work, or a trip to the sauna/steam room.

I think hot water is magical. It helped with cravings, stress and anxiety. meditation in the bath is great. I think there are many rescued evenings for me because of that. Try salts and bubbles, the works!

Freshout -

Congrats on taking the step toward living alcohol free. Man I sounded just like your first paragraph and can relate so much with what you're saying. I am a little over 6 months now without alcohol and now prefer using the term "sober".

Beforehand, I was afraid of using words like "sober", "alcoholic", "sobriety", etc etc. Nowadays, it doesn't matter. Today is so different than it was 6 months ago, 1 year ago, and especially over the course of my drinking career per say. I have thought the exact thing you typed, that I have reconnected with who I was as a kid. I've had so many awakening moments bringing positive things to light. All I had to do was shed the alcohol to expose them.

I went through similar steps and reached out here, other places, and grasped on to recovery podcasts. It took about 2 months before I really told anyone close that I "didn't drink". It took longer for me to feel comfortable stating that. But something happened and I hope it does to you as well. That something became a confidence in who I am, similar to where I was before I started this crazy drinking life. A sense of comfort in the person I am becoming...again. There are no apologies for why I "don't drink" anymore. No feelings of being less than because I don't have an alcoholic drink in my hand during social events. No sense of shame or embarrassment.

But all that said, I take it easy on the recovery bus. I don't shout to everyone that I don't drink. Many of my friends don't really know it yet. It's ok, I just let things roll as they will. I personally feel like I am adapting for a new lifestyle, therefore learning everyday.

I just returned from a long road trip with my close "brothers" and will say this was the hardest test yet. They certainly respect me and my decision. But I had to make it clear before leaving that I've made a decision in my life to not drink right now. I carved that line in the sand ahead of time. That was my accountability. It was the most difficult task yet in my sobriety, but also the most pivotal. I cannot stress that enough.

There have been some changes in my life. You can certainly read my thoughts here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ober-life.html

The biggest take home point you might be able to relate to?? I had and do still have binge drinking friends as well. But I learned it was hard to hang on to the same level of hanging out with them while sober. I learned I was trying to hang on to a life I was also trying to leave behind. So I modified my hang out time. Adjusted it to fit my new lifestyle...to stay sober.

I hope you're in good spirits and continue with this. I adapted the 24hr motto at times and believe this helps avoiding the anxiety of future events that probably are not even that big of a deal anyways.

For accountability, you can reach out to me anytime.

Great opening post, Freshout. I get it.

Boredom: My counselors, both asked me why I drank, and when pressed to answer, I would say, "Because I was bored," but that was just a knee jerk response when put on the spot. Now, I know these counselors were professionals and all, but I believe that question is irrelevant. Consequently, I came up with an irrelevant response. Yes, I was bored sometimes, but so what? If you want to make a federal case out of it and press the issue some more, what could be more boring than a life of drinking yourself to sleep night after night? Yeah, I was bored, quite a bit of the time, actually, but let's put the focus on alcoholism, not boredom.

My chronic boredom went away when I quit drinking. There was nothing magical, creative, or step related that took it away. It was just an unexpected residual. One day several months into sobriety, I was surprised to realize that I hadn't been bored for months. There's just too much to do in life to justify boredom.

Boredom is self imposed, not a condition of your environment. To be honest, boredom does present itself from time to time, but it's never crippling, and I laugh at it. I can choose to live with it, or do something worthwhile, and believe me, I've got a "TO DO" list that is never completed. Yeah, it may require that I drag my lazy ass off the couch or away from my computer, but it's a choice I can make that changes the direction of my frame of mind.

I am no longer that child that I used to be whining to my mother, "I'm so bored," only to be told to go out and play. I'm an adult. I have resources, both financial and psychological. Boredom (or not) is my choice.